LOL Evy. I've never heard that before but it's good!

My family grew un in the south. One of my favorites was, well that is just katty whompas. Which I think means crocked.

Dumb as a door post.

...Not the sharpest pencil in the box.

If wishes were horses, beggars would ride.

...and a miracle occurred... This was often used at work when we'd run into a problem on a project. It meant that somehow, someday, we would solve the problem, but not today.

From my father, who was from Massachusetts, but traveled considerably as a young man:

If the dog hadn't stopped to poop (different word actually used), it would have caught the rabbit.

"If" is the biggest word in the English language." Used when explaining that you 'almost' did something, and 'if" such and such hadn't happened, you would have done it. It also meant we were in trouble.

You make a good door, but a lousy window. Used to tell us that we were standing in front of the TV and blocking the view from the couch. I've never heard it used anywhere but in our house when we were kids. Of course, I have passed it on.

Your legs are younger than mine... Preceded being told to get something by one of our parents.

You'd argue with the devil himself! Usually my Mother said this...until the day I responded with "If it meant the difference between heaven and hell, yes, I would! Mom never used that one on me again.

So did I ! My best friend from KS used it when were talking on the phone a few years ago. She referred to someone I don't know as a "gal that had been rode hard and put away wet" and I asked her if that was fun or gross or what. She paused and said, "You never heard that?" I asked if this lady was a tramp? She started giggling. "No....why?" I said, "Well, I've never heard that expression, but I'm not sure mind half of it." Oh, THEN we laughed till we wet ourselves. When she finally composed herself, she explained the meaning. I can see you having fun with your son about that one, and he probably will never forget it.

A friend's husband is from West Virginia, and when he was growing up and someone saw a good-looking girl, the expression was "she ain't ugly none."

So did I ! My best friend from KS used it when were talking on the phone a few years ago. She referred to someone I don't know as a "gal that had been rode hard and put away wet" and I asked her if that was fun or gross or what. She paused and said, "You never heard that?" I asked if this lady was a tramp? She started giggling. "No....why?" I said, "Think about it." And when she realized that I was NOT thinking about riding a horse hard and putting it away without cooling it off, like she was meaning, we both laughed till tears ran down our legs.

Zozee, I've never heard someone say that they laughed till tears ran down their legs. I love that!

I've heard many of the 8 pages worth I've seen here, but I'll give some more that I've heard. Born and raised in northern Indiana, lived in CO, eastern PA, southern NJ, grad school in TN, lots of relatives in FL, so God only knows where I've heard them. lol
Dumb as a skunk; two logs short of a load; it's hot enough to fry eggs on the driveway; I need that like another hole in my head; like a fish out of water; not the brightest bulb on the tree; sharp as a tack; blind as a bat; that is bass ackwards; cute as a button; he/she is a little wiggle britches; too many bats in her/his belfry; they are two peas in a pod; he/she doesn't have the brains God gave a goat; he/she doesn't have the sense to come in out of the rain; and many more.

This thread has given me many giggles and some new sayings, too. Loved the one about being kicked to death by grasshoppers. I use "katy whompus" a lot, especially when I am quilting and squaring up my patchwork.

Another one I use I got off of The Laverne and Shirley Show: You scared the bejeebers out of me! (I don't know if that is spelled right.)

My friend from Colorado always uses the term "hoot" when something is funny. I've know her for over 25 years and I picked that one up from her.

Junebug 987, Your post made me laugh so hard. Where I come from "catty whompus" is crooked, not "crocked". "Crocked" is being "pickled" as in drunk, but I guess if you are drunk, you may walk "catty whompus". Lol.

Another one I ran across recently- "she is one of those, that when caught in a flood, would refuse the rowboat because it did not match her dress" to mean full of herself. My DH used to say while driving "stupid SOE" and I always thought he was spelling something wrong since he does that a lot, so I finally asked him what he meant. He smiled and said "SOE-sense of entitlement". In Texas I heard a garage sale referred to as an "MSIG" "my s--t is gold". Another is when something is expensive "they are pretty damn proud of that product".