By all means, keep the tradition going. Use it as a time for bringing up memories. After all, that is all we have left when our loved ones are gone. I had lost my daughter and granddaughter 17 years ago in an auto accident just before Thanksgiving. It was (and still is) hard, yet refreshing to talk about them at our traditional get-together.

One special thing that my brother and sisters do is on the first Sunday in December we visit the gravesite of our parents and youngest brother. We lay a large grave blanket and say prayers for them and other family members who have passed. We also welcome the children born in the previous year and say any special prayers needed, this year for the safe return of our nephew who is in Iraq. Years ago our sister Louise began us singing Oh Holy Night and we've continued singing it since she passed a few years ago. This carol ends, "Sleep in Heavely Peace" and it is our wish for all who have left us.

Afterwards we all go out to lunch. After lunch I hand out little gifts, a home made fruit bread for my brother and sisters (applesauce raisin this year) and a little gift for the nieces and nephews and also the grandones, lots of new little ones the past few years. My sister Pat calls me Mrs. Santa.

Chirstmas Eve and Day we spend with our children and grandchildren. Some years I invite my siblings and their famlies, along with my children and grands, to a Get Together at our house inbetween Christmas and New Years, lots of good food and company.

May in Jersey

I lost both a brother and a nephew-not father and son-two years apart, between Thanksgiving and Christmas. Now we get together with family on the Sunday before Christmas and exchange gifts and have soup, sandwiches, and deserts. Then each family is free to have Christmas with their own families as they see fit.

Christmas Eve is chinese food and Bing Crosby in "Holiday Inn". Jim will be working Christmas day but he does not have to leave the house until 9:30, so we still get present time.

I usually work or am on-call almost every Christmas (RN). My husbands family BBQ's on Christmas eve, and we've carried that through. I look forward to having lots of our kids home this year! When I was growing up, my brother and Grandma's birthdays were both on Christmas day, so the day was "theirs".

Unfortunately, sometimes we have to just simply remember with love our traditions and come up with some new ones. I grew up ALWAYS going to my grandparents house for Christmas Eve dinner and gifts. 30 years ago, shortly after I married, my mother died and, at a time when I should have been excited about my new marriage and the holidays, I was thrust (as the eldest child) into a new situation. The only thing that remained the same was going to my Grand-dad's house on Christmas Eve. After he passed, we (my brother and I and our families) started the tradition of going to my Dad's house on Christmas Eve. Now, our children are grown and have significant others of their own....we are finding it difficult to continue getting to my Dad's on Christmas Eve. The best thing I do is get up early on Christmas morning, light the tree and some candles, put on some soft Christmas carols and reminisce in private...I reflect upon past Christmases with the loved ones I have lost over the years...my mom, one brother, all my grandparents, and most recently my MIL....then I have a good cry. Things change, we have to go forward...and this is how I do it.

We have the extended family over on Christmas Eve Day and open presents. That way the families with young children can get them home early at night. On Christmas Eve Day we open presents from the extended family and they open our gifts. We save our personal gifts for Christmas morning.

On Christmas morning (and Christmas Eve Day), we do eat breakfast and then we open presents. We have Christmas music playing, drink hot chocolate with marshmallows and take turns opening one gift at a time. We also have the candy canes hanging on the tree so that everyone can have what they want. We video tape the whole thing and just enjoy being with each other.

We open presents Christmas morning with our kids. My kids are grown so they usually have plans on Christmas Eve with in laws or parties. Everyone ends up here to wake up Christmas morning. Santa still comes to everyone at my house. I have one grandchild so she loves being with lots of family for Christmas, being princess for the day. I have ham and lot of finger food for all day nibbling and then we usually go to a movie Christmas night. I'm lucky all my kids live close to me and their inlaws so no one has to travel more then a few minutes to be with each other.

well, things have changed and changed over the years.
As a child, up until marriage, I was used to being home with family. All of our family lived in new england states.
Then I got married, and hubby was used to all of his brothers and sisters and grandparents gathering Christmas day at his parents for the noon meal.
Then after clean up (kitchen), we would open gifts and all the grown ups sat around all afternoon talking, and the kids played.
Then we would eat dinner and visit a little more and go home.
Now that MIL has passed, and hubby and I are empty nesters...we are home on Christmas Eve. I cook all desserts and finish any gift wrapping etc. and we have a quiet evening.
Christmas morning I begin cooking early and kid and grbabies all come for noon meal, then we open gifts.
They stay until they have to leave to go to other family's houses, and hubby and I just laze around.
We stopped going to my mothers on Christmas eve, 20 years ago, when my stepf. passed away.
I think my mother regrets this now, but she let it all slip away, and everyone has other traditions.
One brother lives with her, so she is not alone.
When my kids were little we always went on 23rd to look at lights, then home to cocoa and cookies. Somewhere the week before the big day, we sometimes did Christmas caroling.
I usually read the Christmas story on christmas eve, and we had snacks.
We always had the emphasis on the real meaning for Christmas, and santa and things like that were part of the 'decorations' of the season, if you will.
I miss seeing my mother and brothers all together, but I accept it, bc I have tried and once you lose a tradition it is too hard to get it back together.
If you want this one, hang onto it. Mother may not want to come this year either, but she will eventually.
But, like us and many others, things may just change into something different.
As long as I have my husband and kids and grandbabies around me, I feel blessed :-D

We used to have a wonderful,hectic,Awesome Christmas when our 2DD were growing up and then when their sons were growing up. After girls got own family they still came Christmas morning with theire Boys,5 between them,then later countless fosters oldest had with her. They all spent Christmas with us. Now These Boys are Men with Wives and kids and It is now a very quite, lonley but nice anyway Christmas. BillSBonBon