Recent changes in General Chit-Chat and the Personal Announcements section
07-23-2009, 05:05 PM
#71
Power Poster
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 15,639
What first drew me to this forum was the wonderful stash of quilting information, inspiration, motivation, and the positive atmosphere. I soon found myself getting to know some of the members through their postings and I marveled at the sense of international community that was established here. The amount of support is amazing and I found myself wanting to participate in the help section.
Just like in a regular community, there are happy, sad, frustrating, confounding, and funny events. It is only natural that they all come up in the general chit chat section. Every member brings her or his socioeconomic baggage as well as their personality and spirituality. Everyone also has their own wit, and their own sense of humor. My assessment of the group was that we were a nice blend and there seemed to be room for everyone.
Being a moderator of such a large group cannot be an easy task and I commend the team for taking care of business as efficiently as you have. It appears that you have been bombarded with private messages and I feel your frustration.
My recommendation would join those who suggested "more categories." In another forum, I find the well-defined categories easy to maneuver and those I don't care about easy to ignore. In a prior comment, you said that was not something you wanted to do.
It's not that I don't understand the problems being discussed. I just don't see them the same way. See, I thought things were going swimmingly. I am not privvy to - nor do I care about the personal politics of some members or cliques. Right now, I just wonder how (much) the QB community will change and honestly, outside of this thread, I am very confused about what is and isn't OK to post.
Just like in a regular community, there are happy, sad, frustrating, confounding, and funny events. It is only natural that they all come up in the general chit chat section. Every member brings her or his socioeconomic baggage as well as their personality and spirituality. Everyone also has their own wit, and their own sense of humor. My assessment of the group was that we were a nice blend and there seemed to be room for everyone.
Being a moderator of such a large group cannot be an easy task and I commend the team for taking care of business as efficiently as you have. It appears that you have been bombarded with private messages and I feel your frustration.
My recommendation would join those who suggested "more categories." In another forum, I find the well-defined categories easy to maneuver and those I don't care about easy to ignore. In a prior comment, you said that was not something you wanted to do.
It's not that I don't understand the problems being discussed. I just don't see them the same way. See, I thought things were going swimmingly. I am not privvy to - nor do I care about the personal politics of some members or cliques. Right now, I just wonder how (much) the QB community will change and honestly, outside of this thread, I am very confused about what is and isn't OK to post.
07-23-2009, 05:32 PM
#72
Super Member
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Back home in Louisiana for now....where next?? who knows....
Posts: 3,180
I have not been on this forum for very long but in that short time I have really enjoyed having the access to the available topics. Altho I am not sure what the solution is I am hoping that as adults we can all reach a solution that fits everyones needs in one way or another. Even though I think the PDA is a good section I also find it hard to keep up withl. If it were more like the GCC thread it would be easier to follow, that way we could keep up with all the most recent posts. As others have said in previous post when you have this many people with all the different personalities you will always have some friction at some point in time. I also just choose to ingnore those post that do not interest me. Yes sometimes I open a thread only to find I am not interested so I just close it and go on. What is so difficult about that?? Now that we have all been made aware of the situation I challenge everyone on this forum to police yourself. After all in the end we are all responsible for our own action & reaction. Admin & the moderators are doing their best to make this a pleasant experience, but it is also our responsibility to make it one as well. As some have suggested maybe the moderators can PM ones who are coloring out of the lines so to speak. If this offends them chances are they will drop off at some point in time anyway.
07-23-2009, 06:18 PM
#73
Power Poster
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 18,726
Originally Posted by PatriceJ
SNIP
what we need right now are some simple, clear suggestions we can use to redefine the limits. we tried our best to set limits that didn't embarrass anybody, or make them feel unwelcome. the whole point of being so strict and extreme was to avoid singling out any one person or type of person. so much for that idea. too many cats are now out of the bag. for each example Admin was forced to present, there's bound to be at least one member out there somewhere hurt, humiliated, and crying. that causes me more pain than the attacks on me have done.
as i read through, i gathered that Admin feels comfortable giving pet pics and stories a "go" for return to General ChitChat. clear. easy to interpret. therefore, easy to moderate.
i believe the same has been agreed upon for vacation stories and pics. again ... clear. easy to interpret. therefore, easy to moderate.
if it generates a smile it's probably safe. if it'll make us laugh, but not blush, it's probably safe - provided we can ever agree to which is the no-no notch on the blush-o-meter. (i gotta tell ya, that one gives me the willies.) :roll:
do you see where i'm headed? specific, clear suggestions. and, yes, it's ok to suggest would shouldn't be there. just, please, be diplomatic about it.
if you have some unhappy news you sincerely believe most of the members will want to hear, please send a pm to either Admin or me so we can figure out whether or not it should be posted and then present the news on your behalf. that way, we know what's going on and you don't have to worry about accidentally crossing a line even we have a hard time seeing.
let's not rush to post anything yet. let's talk some more and build our working list. (again, i stress, not written in blood or chiseled in stone. a place to start.) when Admin gets back, we can present it for his consideration and he can let us know which he approves and which he doesn't. it's just a few more days. (you can use the time to round up and scan all those pics you've been itchin' to post. :wink: )
what we need right now are some simple, clear suggestions we can use to redefine the limits. we tried our best to set limits that didn't embarrass anybody, or make them feel unwelcome. the whole point of being so strict and extreme was to avoid singling out any one person or type of person. so much for that idea. too many cats are now out of the bag. for each example Admin was forced to present, there's bound to be at least one member out there somewhere hurt, humiliated, and crying. that causes me more pain than the attacks on me have done.
as i read through, i gathered that Admin feels comfortable giving pet pics and stories a "go" for return to General ChitChat. clear. easy to interpret. therefore, easy to moderate.
i believe the same has been agreed upon for vacation stories and pics. again ... clear. easy to interpret. therefore, easy to moderate.
if it generates a smile it's probably safe. if it'll make us laugh, but not blush, it's probably safe - provided we can ever agree to which is the no-no notch on the blush-o-meter. (i gotta tell ya, that one gives me the willies.) :roll:
do you see where i'm headed? specific, clear suggestions. and, yes, it's ok to suggest would shouldn't be there. just, please, be diplomatic about it.
if you have some unhappy news you sincerely believe most of the members will want to hear, please send a pm to either Admin or me so we can figure out whether or not it should be posted and then present the news on your behalf. that way, we know what's going on and you don't have to worry about accidentally crossing a line even we have a hard time seeing.
let's not rush to post anything yet. let's talk some more and build our working list. (again, i stress, not written in blood or chiseled in stone. a place to start.) when Admin gets back, we can present it for his consideration and he can let us know which he approves and which he doesn't. it's just a few more days. (you can use the time to round up and scan all those pics you've been itchin' to post. :wink: )
While sub categories for the topics may on the surface appear to be a solution, I think that in the real world, it would make the board more cumbersome, harder to navigate and much harder to moderate. I don't want to loose the GCC section as I think it supports an important part of the board and provides a huge part of the "community feeling" of this board. Quite frankly, this sense of community is why I stay with this board and enjoy it so much.
07-23-2009, 06:32 PM
#74
Super Member
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: currently central new jersey
Posts: 8,623
i'm not embarrassed to admit that i am one of those that make 'off-color' innuendos. whose color? even if you have a dozen moderators all you have is a dozen varying opinions.
i vote for the 'put your topic name on the subject line for all the world to see' idea.
if you see a topic called 'cockroaches are infesting my house' and the idea dusgusts you, by all means, DON'T READ IT. if a post is called 'WARNING - RAUNCHY STORY HERE' and such things offend you, guess what you should do. on the other side if a topic is called 'my spring garden in pictures', you may very well want to see it. then by all means do. why can't people police themselves? and mind their own business? why should they care what someone else thinks is funny, dreary, disgusting or plain boring. as long as the topic line is honest, then everyone can make an honest decision. i think that the only thing that needs policing here is dishonest labeling.
i don't see a problem here at all. i recently put out a topic on GCC that was off-color. the topic name was something like 'blah blah, blah - IF YOU DON't LIKE RAUNCHY JOKES, DON'T READ THIS. now, really. did anyone not understand that? within hours that post was deleted. i didn't blame anyone. but let it be known that within hours also, more than two dozen people pm'd me asking where it went, because they wanted to send it on.
and they were people that i never would pegged for it. so tell me, did the conservative people speak for the majority or just for themselves. and those of you who pm'd me should have pm'd patrice. i dont think i have to defend myself for having an adult funnybone. if someone found that offensive, why did they read in the first place? could i have been any clearer? do they follow through on these things deliberately simply to have something to complain about?
i would like honest feedback here. honest. and not just from people who see all adult humor as x-rated.
i vote for the 'put your topic name on the subject line for all the world to see' idea.
if you see a topic called 'cockroaches are infesting my house' and the idea dusgusts you, by all means, DON'T READ IT. if a post is called 'WARNING - RAUNCHY STORY HERE' and such things offend you, guess what you should do. on the other side if a topic is called 'my spring garden in pictures', you may very well want to see it. then by all means do. why can't people police themselves? and mind their own business? why should they care what someone else thinks is funny, dreary, disgusting or plain boring. as long as the topic line is honest, then everyone can make an honest decision. i think that the only thing that needs policing here is dishonest labeling.
i don't see a problem here at all. i recently put out a topic on GCC that was off-color. the topic name was something like 'blah blah, blah - IF YOU DON't LIKE RAUNCHY JOKES, DON'T READ THIS. now, really. did anyone not understand that? within hours that post was deleted. i didn't blame anyone. but let it be known that within hours also, more than two dozen people pm'd me asking where it went, because they wanted to send it on.
and they were people that i never would pegged for it. so tell me, did the conservative people speak for the majority or just for themselves. and those of you who pm'd me should have pm'd patrice. i dont think i have to defend myself for having an adult funnybone. if someone found that offensive, why did they read in the first place? could i have been any clearer? do they follow through on these things deliberately simply to have something to complain about?
i would like honest feedback here. honest. and not just from people who see all adult humor as x-rated.
07-23-2009, 06:59 PM
#75
Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: NW Panhandle Texas
Posts: 584
i would like honest feedback here. honest. and not just from people who see all adult humor as x-rated.
As for adult humor yeah at times I find it funny....in its time and place.
We know this is a forum that has children and young adults who read so adult subject matter should be reserved for an adult setting.
Call me a prude but you want honesty. You want to share those types of jokes then how about a diary of your adult jokes? then everyone will know and keep the ones who are offended by it and the children from reading.
I am sure your not the only one who has done off color jokes so I dont think you need to defend yourself. You dont know if they read your joke, they could have been upset it was there on a family site which I agree with.
What do you mean by follow through on these things to have something to complaign about? If they were upset that is the Mods job to listen and everyone has a right to express their feelings about our board.
As for "OFF COLOR" we ALL KNOW when we hear/read a joke of that subject......If I would be uncomfortable having my teenage daughter hear it its off color and I wont repeat it in a family forum.
Thats part of the issue this is a family forum...we have children, young adults , and people of all different backgrounds and beliefs. We have to respect each other and try to treat others as we want to be treated.
07-23-2009, 07:44 PM
#76
Super Member
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: currently central new jersey
Posts: 8,623
thank you for your input. i say conservative because i feel that people who thought it was funny would not have complained. you're right. i may have been wrong. it may have been the raunchiest person on the board.
although that makes no sense to me whatever.
if you believe that it's okay for there to be a diary of adult jokes, then what would you have the subject be called? and how would one keep young adults away from it. i would hope that children are supervised when using computers, so that's a moot point, right?
personally, i don't want my family to see the downers that are on the personal column here. and i don't want to read them either. so i just don't. and i believe that's only fair. i can't understand why others can't afford me the same rights that they feel entitled to. you write what you want to and whoever wants to can read it. I write what i want to and whoever wants to can read it. if i give fair warning, then don't read it. when a post explicitly says DON'T READ, why read? if someone says the stove is hot, do you put your hand on it?
if you read my previous answer on this post you will see that i warned everyone in CAPITAL LETTERS that there was material that some might find offensive. no one was obligated to read it.
what i mean by follow through is this: deliberately going past the warning sign when they know what to expect and then reporting to the teacher. yes, i want to be treated as you would have me treat you. i treat you with the respect that you, as an adult with opinions, should be treated. i put up warning signs. do others prepare me to listen to their stories of woe and grief? i have enough of that in my own life. you don't have to hear it and neither do i.
if you don't want your teenaged daughter to be exposed to this humor, then turn off your tv, don't allow her to go to the movies, school or have any friends. cut off all communication with the world, because adult subject matter will not go away.
sincerely though, i do appreciate that you took the time to answer. that is what open forum is for, after all.
although that makes no sense to me whatever.
if you believe that it's okay for there to be a diary of adult jokes, then what would you have the subject be called? and how would one keep young adults away from it. i would hope that children are supervised when using computers, so that's a moot point, right?
personally, i don't want my family to see the downers that are on the personal column here. and i don't want to read them either. so i just don't. and i believe that's only fair. i can't understand why others can't afford me the same rights that they feel entitled to. you write what you want to and whoever wants to can read it. I write what i want to and whoever wants to can read it. if i give fair warning, then don't read it. when a post explicitly says DON'T READ, why read? if someone says the stove is hot, do you put your hand on it?
if you read my previous answer on this post you will see that i warned everyone in CAPITAL LETTERS that there was material that some might find offensive. no one was obligated to read it.
what i mean by follow through is this: deliberately going past the warning sign when they know what to expect and then reporting to the teacher. yes, i want to be treated as you would have me treat you. i treat you with the respect that you, as an adult with opinions, should be treated. i put up warning signs. do others prepare me to listen to their stories of woe and grief? i have enough of that in my own life. you don't have to hear it and neither do i.
if you don't want your teenaged daughter to be exposed to this humor, then turn off your tv, don't allow her to go to the movies, school or have any friends. cut off all communication with the world, because adult subject matter will not go away.
sincerely though, i do appreciate that you took the time to answer. that is what open forum is for, after all.
07-23-2009, 08:33 PM
#77
Super Member
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Central Illinois
Posts: 3,311
IMHO...I think this is more of a negativity issue. A simple rule to remember...if you're really needing to vent something negative...do it in the Personal Announcements section. After all...most of us try to be here for each other and are more than willing to lend a shoulder or just an ear. If it's a negative that you've managed to make a positive, heck yeah I want to read it, and since we all need more positivity in our lives...General Chit Chat would be good. A good laugh is never a bad thing...we all need more grins too...but if in doubt as to the "tone" of the joke or story...ask admin or post it in your personal announcement area. Bottom line here is...positivity brings positivity
negativity brings negativity. Personally, I'd much rather exhibit a positive (and yes most often SOMETHING positive can be found in any negative)attitude in even the worst of situations. Doesn't always work but I still try. Keep it positive, and your gonna be lifted up...keep it negative and you're going to walk through life in concrete shoes with a big sack of sand on your shoulders. I think Admin just wants the negatives, and woes in a place where those of us who are close to one another can more effectively deal with it, instead of putting it in a down hill negative spiral for the whole board.
So...I guess I'm saying like Mom told me...if you think it's wrong...then it probably is....so in this case...if you think it might belong in a personal announcement...then it probably does.
I really do want to thank Admin for giving us a special place to keep up with each other. A place where we can support each other on a personal level.
And...Thanks to Patrice, and Shadow for dealing with us through thick and thin.
It REALLY is a quilting board first and fore-most...we always have pm and emails if we prefer that resource over the personal announcement section.
negativity brings negativity. Personally, I'd much rather exhibit a positive (and yes most often SOMETHING positive can be found in any negative)attitude in even the worst of situations. Doesn't always work but I still try. Keep it positive, and your gonna be lifted up...keep it negative and you're going to walk through life in concrete shoes with a big sack of sand on your shoulders. I think Admin just wants the negatives, and woes in a place where those of us who are close to one another can more effectively deal with it, instead of putting it in a down hill negative spiral for the whole board.
So...I guess I'm saying like Mom told me...if you think it's wrong...then it probably is....so in this case...if you think it might belong in a personal announcement...then it probably does.
I really do want to thank Admin for giving us a special place to keep up with each other. A place where we can support each other on a personal level.
And...Thanks to Patrice, and Shadow for dealing with us through thick and thin.
It REALLY is a quilting board first and fore-most...we always have pm and emails if we prefer that resource over the personal announcement section.
07-23-2009, 08:53 PM
#78
Super Member
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: currently central new jersey
Posts: 8,623
jbs, i'm not trying to be sarcastic. i really want to understand this. i'm not sure there are lines.
if i win the miss america beauty pageant, is that something everyone wants to laugh at or is that confined to the personal section? if there are 8 x 10 glossies, is it in pictures?
there are so many overlaps. that's why i think capital letter subject titles could work. BFW WINS BEAUTY PAGEANT - HAHA! not interested? don't read. right? i won't be insulted. i won't even know. JBS'S KIDS LOOK ALIKE - YAY! hey, i would read that. MY FAVORITE FOXGLOVE DIED. sorry, not that interesting to me. i'll take a pass on that one. no one will know. it's like a buffet. or a chinese menu. one from column a. two from column b. you put your reading matter choices together yourself. no one chooses for you. fascinating concept :mrgreen: but, who knows? i think it has possibilities.
if i win the miss america beauty pageant, is that something everyone wants to laugh at or is that confined to the personal section? if there are 8 x 10 glossies, is it in pictures?
there are so many overlaps. that's why i think capital letter subject titles could work. BFW WINS BEAUTY PAGEANT - HAHA! not interested? don't read. right? i won't be insulted. i won't even know. JBS'S KIDS LOOK ALIKE - YAY! hey, i would read that. MY FAVORITE FOXGLOVE DIED. sorry, not that interesting to me. i'll take a pass on that one. no one will know. it's like a buffet. or a chinese menu. one from column a. two from column b. you put your reading matter choices together yourself. no one chooses for you. fascinating concept :mrgreen: but, who knows? i think it has possibilities.
07-23-2009, 09:52 PM
#79
Power Poster
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Northern Indiana
Posts: 20,306
Well here are a couple of my thoughts, good, bad ot otherwise. I liked seeing the birthdays annouced in GCC cuz I am still a newbie and am getting to know everyone, but maybe not well enough to know when their birhtdays are to go to thier diaries. But I liked being able to send them a Birhtday greeting. As for the negativity, I admit I like to send cards when I think the occasion warrants it but if it is buried in a diary I fear most of the board will miss it. I know many have contributed lately to sending squares to make group quilts and I think that is a VERY positive thing from this board, but again if it is buried in a diary how do we as a large group reach out to help a person(s) ? I am sorry I don't have any solutions and yes I have noticed the changes recently about the board and am not really sure how I feel about all of them.
Jokes I usually skip over, pics I love (Don't we all?). Mare Stare I was there and yes we got silly but we where trying to keep ourselves awake so as to not miss the blessed event, and even had a call system set up in case someone was sleeping or busy so that all could watch :shock: . I miss seeing the pics of the ponies , all of them :lol: I don't post much as I am not sure what to post ot where, but when I have posted I have learned and received a lot in response. And I love to see where others live , different cities, states, countries and cultures. Its an education all in its own !
And I don't think we say it enough but, THANK YOU ADMIN AND MODERATORS for all you work here ! Change is never easy, but sometimes neccesary for the good of the whole.
Jokes I usually skip over, pics I love (Don't we all?). Mare Stare I was there and yes we got silly but we where trying to keep ourselves awake so as to not miss the blessed event, and even had a call system set up in case someone was sleeping or busy so that all could watch :shock: . I miss seeing the pics of the ponies , all of them :lol: I don't post much as I am not sure what to post ot where, but when I have posted I have learned and received a lot in response. And I love to see where others live , different cities, states, countries and cultures. Its an education all in its own !
And I don't think we say it enough but, THANK YOU ADMIN AND MODERATORS for all you work here ! Change is never easy, but sometimes neccesary for the good of the whole.
07-23-2009, 10:04 PM
#80
Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Lexington, OK
Posts: 729
BFW, I sure hate to jump in here, being new and not really knowing much about anyone here, but I do want to add this little bit. Please don't be offended. I enjoy most of your jokes but have been surprised to see some of them on this site.
Many people use Net Nanny or other types of web filters to keep thier children away from the adult sites that are in abundance. I would think even the word 'raunchy' would cause this site to be blocked from those computers. The information and encouragement on this site is priceless to new quilters. I would hate to think that young quilters would not be able to access it due to a few jokes. Just something to think about.
Many people use Net Nanny or other types of web filters to keep thier children away from the adult sites that are in abundance. I would think even the word 'raunchy' would cause this site to be blocked from those computers. The information and encouragement on this site is priceless to new quilters. I would hate to think that young quilters would not be able to access it due to a few jokes. Just something to think about.
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