butterflywing

to sharon,
heartfelt thanks you for skipping over the jokes. i never miss the pics either. i read all the recent topics. but i never read the personal section, because they're personal. and i LOVE chit-chat.

to billswife99,
perhaps the people most concerned about what their children might see or read on the computer should consider a web monitor. some are very easily over ridden for the use of adults. as for the word raunchy, it's a word. just like toilet. just like hump. just like butt. different meanings, same word. you can't block every word. if you're child goes to school, then he/she is exposed to much worse than anything on this site. and in much more graphic terms. watch tv? not only sexually directed ads, but so much blood and violence it makes your head spin. sexual innuendos reflect a normal part of life. nothing said on this board was ever explicit. every culture laughs at sexual jokes. if people have the choice of not reading what they find offensive, and their teenagers are not reading anything new to them, why should it bother anyone if those silly jokes and/or conversations continue to exist? i know why i think they're funny. it's because people are funny. but why does it annoy anyone that this kind of humor exists on this forum if it is identified as such right our front? i keep saying this, but don't read it if you don't want to. no one reads what they don't find interesting. no one expects anyone else to. why is it okay to tell me that your roses have mildew, when i don't care, but not okay for someone to tell a funny story that's a little risque? i've never seen a 'dirty' word, by any means, in the funniest joke. and i've read more ***** words in general conversations than in jokes.

Barb M

Butterfly, i was going to be silent, but i can't. This is where the problem is. Admin says if he makes a rule, then some push it to the limit, instead of just being considerate. This is what i see happening. You want a set rule, so you can push the limits. Right now, you are showing an example of the problem. You are being overbearing, pushing, demanding examples, demanding your freedom...i have done this in life too, i'm not immune from this...but look at what is happening. You want what you want, you will bully and be overbearing about it, demanding peoples reasons, and yet, not once4 considering, just considering, toning it down, and just being considerate of what others find inappropriate. Even if you know something is within your personal guidlines for allowable, but you know it hurts or offends someone else, is it so much more important for your voice to be heard, than to quietly be considerate of others? There used to be 9occasional jokes on here, i liked them, but now, theres more and more, like some people just need to be loud and overbearing, and ive been offended when i have seen peoples threads being hi-jacked by a few people. Its ok to have fun on someones thread, if the person that started the thread is part of the fun, but to take a serious subject, and then have two or three overbearing people come along, and suddenly be raunchy all over the thread, ive witnessed that a couple of times lately, have not said anythig to anyone until now, but it has bothered me.
I do have more to say on this whole subject, but im finding it too upsetting, so i will prob say more tomorrow.

One of my suggestions to admin is less rules, so rules cant be pushed, but guidlines, more consideration between members, and the only rule is, when my kids would ask me why, if i was really irritated, the answer was, cus i said so. This is your forum admin, and you dont have to 4ever give reasons for anything. I'll say more tomorrow

quiltswithdogs

I've been out of touch here for a few weeks so just saw this now. I was never on a message board before just a few months ago. I started with needing support and info about medical problems. Then it occurred to me to find a fun, more happy topic of interest, specifically quilting. I needed a club that didn't require me to show up or do things on their timetable. I love this board. I learn a lot from it.

I think you are doing a great job. One of my 2 medical-condition-specific boards is like this one... moderated, the other, with no moderator, is hugely different and has problems, some that you mentioned. I learned a lot from your post above. I've seen that bump thing done on another board (I don't go there as often as here) and I couldn't figure it out. On that board I also saw how the first couple funny comments can tornado it away into something totally off the original topic. It is frustrating, but even worse if it's "inside jokes". I haven't really noticed that here so either I simply didn't read those posts or it's happened recently when I wasn't here. Most importantly, I've never seen the meanness of any trolls who seem to want to insult and get everybody all riled up... thank you so much for sparing us that!

Since I just returned, I found your special sections for pets and get-well wishes etc. I like it... easy to find but if my time is limited, I can stick to quilting questions and answers. I think I may have inadvertantly posted wrong earlier this evening. I was finishing a well received post I started weeks ago about suggestions of quilting terms as a name for my dog. So, now I've just announced that I got one and the name, so I'm all done with that. From now on, if I have anything to say about my pets, I'll put it into Critters... easy-peasy.

I think I'm kinda get the hang of message boards and will try hard to do things correctly. This is a delightful and informative board. Keep up the good work.

amma

I have read through this whole thread, several times and I think what Admin is saying has a lot of validity but at the same time it is a big change for the board. I understand that many people would be unhappy to go to the Chit/Chat section and see the first 10 topics are about death, illness, job loss, etc.... But, the friendly, caring and compassionate nature of the board has been what has captured and drawn people from being lurkers to members. From the time that I have found the board to now, I have watched the members go from being polite and friendly strangers, to friends, to what we now refer to as an extended quilting family. When you have 7000+ members, there are going to be a lot of these type of life issues occuring daily. This is a group of quilters, who have a history of banding together during the bad times. It may be through uplifting or sympathetic posts, community quilts, PM's, emails, whatever we as individuals felt was right or that we wanted/were able to do. With the membership rising it is becoming more prominent, and will increase even more as the membership continues to rise.
How do we be compassionate and caring to other members, without infringing on the rights/feelings of other board members or potential members who visit this site? If a board member is having surgery, has an illness or a loved one has passed, for example, could a locked statement be written in the Chit Chat section? It could be submitted/approved by a Moderator. Because of the amount of members, it could be information restricted to the member and immediate family. Then if anyone wants to respond, they could do so in the member's Personal Diary and Announcement section of the board. Prayer requests could also be discussed there, in a more private setting. (If Admin is okay with that) However, the question arises, how many times can a board member submit during a one year time frame? For example, if every member posted 3 times a year, that would be 21,000+ posts of this nature. Realistically ofcourse, not every one does post about these situations in their lives, but if you allow one, you have to allow all 7000+ members the same opportunity too. And is it fair to ask one, two or three Moderators to keep track of 7000 members and their share of these types of messages? We would HAVE to be willing to police ourselves, and be reasonable in how often we use this post. Some life events could be PM'd to those you are closer to on the board,or placed in the PDA section, saving the more serious events for the Chit Chat section.
Please don't get me wrong, I am not saying that I feel these messages should NOT be posted. But Admin has asked us for suggestions on how to fix this issue and I hope that we can brainstorm and come up with a workable solution. If we can't, I guess it would be fair to say that all of these types of announcements will be restricted to the PDA section of the board.

As to the Jokes and joking around, if we are being asked to keep it cleaner and tone it down, than I think we should. If Admin and the moderators feel it has gotten out of hand at times and has brought it to our attention, then we need to be responsible and follow their rules and guidelines. We like to feel that we are all a part of the board, want a say in some aspects of it, but the bottom line is that Admin owns it, so it is my opinion that we need to respect his wishes and final say. We also need to remember that it has been mentioned before that Admin needs to keep this site "clean" so that there are not any problems with referrals and links to this board. That is a small request and easily honored......

As to Happy Birthday wishes, I hope that we can continue these in Chit Chat. There really are not all that many posted, and it is nice to be able to say Happy Birthday in a group fashion to our members.

I would like to see newborn announcements stay in Chit Chat...quilter's like to brag about their newborn children and grandchildren. Again, a statement in Chit Chat, pictures and discussion in the PDA section.

I don't know what to say about pet pictures, I enjoy looking at them, I know some don't...but the amount of views some get and as clearly labeled as most are it would be easy to bypass these if you are not interested. I would like to see them remain in the Chit Chat section.

I do want to thank you for allowing mare stare to remain in Chit Chat. I know that many members watch the topic without leaving any replies. I also acknowledge that we do need to be more careful about the topics discussed during the stares. I know that I have forgotten that children and young adults do come to our board and I need to be more diligent in remembering that.

I appreciate being able to be a member of this board, I appreciate all of the hard work that goes into running it, and I also appreciate the opportunity to say my piece about this issue. Thank you Admin, Patrice and Shadow for all of the time and work that you put in to keep this board going for us all.

patricej

good mornin', ya'll. [yaaaaaaaaawn] sorry to be late, but i forgot to buy coffee yesterday. i just HAD to make a dash to the store.

as we continue the conversation today, let's please remember:

-US, US, US
-let's keep it a discussion and avoid arguing
-please review all the comments since you looked last to catch up

if I interpret correctly Admin's statements so far, here's where i think we are:

he will not add any more special sections. we need to develop a clear, concise, easily understood and easily moderated set of policies about how we'll post and behave within the sections we already have.

pets (which includes such things as mare stares), vacations, happy news (such as births, graduations, anniversaries, etc, etc, etc) will almost certainly be allowed to return to GeneralChitChat when Admin gets back. no need to campaign further for those. :wink:

the subject of jokes seems to have generated a lot of heat. i don't pretend to have the perfect answer. let's keep this in perspective if we can. whether a joke (or any other post, for that matter) stays or goes is not going to make a difference to anything truly important going on in the world around us. (if somebody finds that one joke that can end disease, disaster, famine and pestilence AND bring immediate world peace, please let me know. we'll post in with a sticky. :wink: )

i think it's always going to boil down to a human judgement call on the part of whichever Admin or Moderator is reading it. if a joke you don't like is allowed to stay ... well ... all i can say is don't read it again. you already know you don't like it. if a joke gets deleted ... sorry ... get over it.

it sounds to me as though we are headed toward a policy that limits GCC to good & happy. if you think somebody will need to grab a kleenex or a bucket while they read it, the post is best added to your PDA (diary/journal). not everyone will be happy about that. but please remember ... it does not change WHAT can be posted. it only changes WHERE it goes.

there will be exceptional cases in which the best place for bad news is, in fact, GCC. if you review the first page of GCC, you'll find an example of unhappy news that was allowed to stay because we knew that most of the members would want to know the event had occured and offer their condolences. (you will also see a happy post that, under the current system, would normally get moved to diaries or deleted. i chose to leave it there as a sign of things most likely to come back. please don't take it as a green light for everything. keep in mind that Admin has not yet come to a final decision about anything.)

in the event of unhappy news that is personal but that you believe will be of truly general interest and that needs to be easily and quickly seen by all, just send a pm to Admin or to me. we can make a decision based on the interests of the general membership and you don't risk getting your feelings hurt if your post is deleted.

i want to thank everyone who has contributed constructive suggestions and offered their personal assistance. that's what will keep our board the best quilting board on the internet. i'm so proud i could cry. :P

if there's something we haven't yet talked about, today is a good day to bring it up. just remember, please, to present your thoughts in a way you'd want somebody else to present them to you. they don't call it "The Golden Rule" for nuthin'. ;-)

k3n

Good morning Patrice and everyone!

I just wanted to say that I like the way this is going - it seems that we're reaching a consensus on many things. The sticking point seems to be the funnies. I KNOW Admin doesn't want anymore sections but MAYBE just one thread in GCC for funnies? So then there aren't a load of threads in GCC, each featuring only one joke or link but just ONE thread, 'stuck' to the top for funnies. Jokes and links often spark humourous discussions and these could all take place on this one thread. Obviously, the debate about what is and isn't funny would still go on but I think that board policy MUST prevail and we all have to abide by that.

I also just wanted to say here that I know I've been involved in hijacking in the past. I'm sorry to all those I've offended or upset with this. I'm now trying to think twice before I press 'submit'. I hope it helps. :D

patricej

many of us have hijacked topics. (including me.) most of us who've done it didn't even realize at the time that's what we were doing. i've seen very few situations in which the hijacker had an obvious, selfish, unfriendly purpose for doing it.

we're reading through a thread; a thought pops into our head; we post; and off we're headed into Tangent Land. :lol:

when the original subject is of interest to enough readers, we bring it back on-topic without even thinking about it because we begin again to post relevant input. if it never gets back to the original subject, it's likely that subject had run its course.

sometimes, i get more caught up and interested in the tangent(s) a topic has been taken to than i was in the original subject. but i can't always find it again to keep up with it because the original title has no relation to the new conversation. sooooooo ... in addition to being discourteous to the person who started the thread (my apologies for past transgressions :oops: ), we're kinda shooting ourselves in the foot, too.

unless you hijacked somebody at "ugly-point", it's best to not beat yourself up about it. slap yourself on the wrist, give yourself a tsk-tsk-tsk and be more careful next time. (and by "you" i mean me, too.) :wink:

P.S. i'm off to work, now, to earn your tax dollars. behave yourselves 'til i get back. put the spitballs away. teacher will be watching. :lol:

k3n

Thanks Patrice, that makes me feel a WHOLE lot better!!!

Maybe we should have a policy where, if Tangent Land (I LIKE that! :wink: ) becomes interesting in it's own right, someone says 'hey, I'm starting a new thread called 'blah' so we can carry on with this conversation?

barnbum

The jokes are as much trouble as politics or religious topics. Maybe, for the contentment of the whole--they should join the 'not allowed' with the others?

Ninnie

I to am guilty, and have slapped my hand. And I do promise to think twice in the future, before submitting what I have written!