Stolen Body Parts
#1
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You've no doubt heard about people who have been abducted and had their kidneys removed by black-market organ thieves.
My thighs were stolen from me during the night a few years ago. I went to sleep and woke up with someone else's thighs. It was just that quick. The replacements had the texture of cooked oatmeal. Whose thighs were these and what happened to mine? I spent the entire summer looking for my thighs. Finally, hurt and angry, I resigned myself to living out my life in jeans. And then the thieves struck again.
My butt was next. I knew it was the same gang, because they took pains to match my new rear-end to the thighs they had stuck me with earlier. But my new butt was attached at least three inches lower than my original! I realized I'd have to give up my jeans in favor of long skirts.
Two years ago I realized my arms had been switched. One morning I was fixing my hair and was horrified to see the flesh of my upper arm swing to and fro with the motion of the brush. This was really getting scary - my body was being replaced one section at a time. What could they do to me next?
When my poor neck suddenly disappeared and was replaced with a turkey neck, I decided to tell my story. Women of the world wake up and smell the coffee! Those 'plastic' surgeons are using REAL replacement body parts - stolen from you and me! The next time someone you know has something 'lifted', look again - was it lifted from you?
THIS IS NOT A HOAX. This is happening to women everywhere Every night.
WARN YOUR FRIENDS!
P. S. Last year I thought someone had stolen my boobs. I was lying in bed and they were gone! But when I jumped out of bed, I was relieved to see that they had just been hiding in my armpits as I slept. Now I keep them hidden in my waistband.
I thought this was too 'important' not to pass on. Have a wonderful day - with a joy filled heart. Always remember to laugh!! Helps the heart AND the wrinkles!!
P.S.S. Those same thieves just came into my closet and shrank my clothes! How do they do that????
:)
My thighs were stolen from me during the night a few years ago. I went to sleep and woke up with someone else's thighs. It was just that quick. The replacements had the texture of cooked oatmeal. Whose thighs were these and what happened to mine? I spent the entire summer looking for my thighs. Finally, hurt and angry, I resigned myself to living out my life in jeans. And then the thieves struck again.
My butt was next. I knew it was the same gang, because they took pains to match my new rear-end to the thighs they had stuck me with earlier. But my new butt was attached at least three inches lower than my original! I realized I'd have to give up my jeans in favor of long skirts.
Two years ago I realized my arms had been switched. One morning I was fixing my hair and was horrified to see the flesh of my upper arm swing to and fro with the motion of the brush. This was really getting scary - my body was being replaced one section at a time. What could they do to me next?
When my poor neck suddenly disappeared and was replaced with a turkey neck, I decided to tell my story. Women of the world wake up and smell the coffee! Those 'plastic' surgeons are using REAL replacement body parts - stolen from you and me! The next time someone you know has something 'lifted', look again - was it lifted from you?
THIS IS NOT A HOAX. This is happening to women everywhere Every night.
WARN YOUR FRIENDS!
P. S. Last year I thought someone had stolen my boobs. I was lying in bed and they were gone! But when I jumped out of bed, I was relieved to see that they had just been hiding in my armpits as I slept. Now I keep them hidden in my waistband.
I thought this was too 'important' not to pass on. Have a wonderful day - with a joy filled heart. Always remember to laugh!! Helps the heart AND the wrinkles!!
P.S.S. Those same thieves just came into my closet and shrank my clothes! How do they do that????
:)
#7
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Kathy this is so funny, I just saw it today while surfing more places on this site. Didn't sew today, had doctors apt. so just surfed in-between. I'm going to copy and send this to my friends. Love it, and oh so true.
#9
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After seeing your convict quilts - i came to see your site and am in FITS OF GIGGLES. Oh that is so funny. Well actually it really is not funny as THAT IS HOW I LOOK. Going to the beach next week with my 3 skinny 25,23 and 19 year old daughters and their boyfriends. Well i will let you into a little secrete - i will be wearing 3/4 pants the whole holes....no costume with them around for me. My gosh where did the years go and HOW DID I GET LIKE THIS! If i could catch those people who STOLE my parts, they are in HUGE TROUBLE.
Hope you have a fantastic Christmas :-o
Hope you have a fantastic Christmas :-o
#10
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I am so glad I could make you laugh. Actually, I was sent this by the Warden that started the quilting program at the prison. She retired a couple of years ago, but we still keep in touch - sort of like sisters would.
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