Tell Me This Won't Happen To Us!!!
03-09-2010, 07:00 PM
#1
Super Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Clearwater, FL
Posts: 2,328
TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US !!!!
An elderly Floridian called 911 on her cell phone to report
that her car has been broken into. She is hysterical as she
explains her situation to the dispatcher: 'They've
stolen the stereo, the steering wheel, the brake pedal and
even the accelerator!' she cried. The dispatcher said,
'Stay calm. An officer is on the way.' A few minutes
later, the officer radios in 'Disregard.' He says.
'She got in the back-seat by mistake.'
TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US !!
__________________________________________________ ______________________
Three sisters, ages 92, 94 and 96, live in a house
together. One night the 96-year-old draws a bath. She puts
her foot in and pauses. She yells to the other sisters,
'Was I getting in or out of the bath?' The
94-year-old yells back, 'I don't know. I'll come
up and see.' She starts up the stairs and pauses
'Was I going up the stairs or down? The 92-year-old is
sitting at the kitchen table having tea listening to her
sisters, she shakes her head and says, 'I sure hope I
never get that forgetful, knock on wood...' She then
yells, 'I'll come up and help both of you as soon as
I see who's at the door.'
TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US !!!!
__________________________________________________ ______________________
'I CAN HEAR JUST FINE!'
Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were playing golf
one fine March day. One remarked to the other, 'Windy,
isn't it?' 'No,' the second man replied,
'it's Thursday.' And the third man chimed in,
'So am I. Let's have a beer.'
TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US !!!!
__________________________________________________ _____________________
A little old lady was running up and down the halls in a
nursing home. As she walked, she would flip up the hem of
her nightgown and say 'Supersex...' She walked up to
an elderly man in a wheelchair.. Flipping her gown at him,
she said, 'Supersex.' He sat silently for a moment
or two and finally answered, 'I'll take the
soup.'
TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US !!!!
__________________________________________________ __________________
Now this one is just too Precious...LOL!
Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over
the years, they had shared all kinds of activities and
adventures. Lately, their activities had been limited to
meeting a few times a week to play cards.
One day, they were playing cards when one looked at the
other and said, 'Now don't get mad at me ... I know
we've been friends for a long time, but I just can't
think of your name! I've thought And thought, but I
can't remember it. Please tell me what your name is..
Her friend glared at her for at least three minutes she
just stared and glared at her. Finally she said, 'How
soon do you need to know?'
TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US !!!!
__________________________________________________ _____________________
SENIOR DRIVING
As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car
phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife's voice
urgently warning him, 'Herman, I just heard on the news
that there's a car going the wrong way on Interstate 77.
Please be careful!' 'Heck,' said Herman,
'It's not just one car. It's hundreds of them!'
TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US !!!!
__________________________________________________ _______________
DRIVING
Two elderly women were out driving in a large car - both
could barely see over the dashboard. As they were cruising
along, they came to an intersection. The stoplight was red,
but they just went on through. The woman in the passenger
seat thought to herself 'I must be losing it. I could
have sworn we just went Through a red light.'
After a few more minutes, they came to another intersection
and the light was red. Again, they went right through. The
woman in the passenger seat was almost sure that the light
had been red but was really concerned that she was losing
it. She was getting nervous.
At the next intersection, sure enough, the light was red
and they went on through. So, She turned to the other woman
and said, 'Mildred, did you know that we just ran
through three red lights in a row? You could have killed us
both!'
Mildred turned to her and said, 'Oh, crap, am I driving?'
TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US !!!!
An elderly Floridian called 911 on her cell phone to report
that her car has been broken into. She is hysterical as she
explains her situation to the dispatcher: 'They've
stolen the stereo, the steering wheel, the brake pedal and
even the accelerator!' she cried. The dispatcher said,
'Stay calm. An officer is on the way.' A few minutes
later, the officer radios in 'Disregard.' He says.
'She got in the back-seat by mistake.'
TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US !!
__________________________________________________ ______________________
Three sisters, ages 92, 94 and 96, live in a house
together. One night the 96-year-old draws a bath. She puts
her foot in and pauses. She yells to the other sisters,
'Was I getting in or out of the bath?' The
94-year-old yells back, 'I don't know. I'll come
up and see.' She starts up the stairs and pauses
'Was I going up the stairs or down? The 92-year-old is
sitting at the kitchen table having tea listening to her
sisters, she shakes her head and says, 'I sure hope I
never get that forgetful, knock on wood...' She then
yells, 'I'll come up and help both of you as soon as
I see who's at the door.'
TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US !!!!
__________________________________________________ ______________________
'I CAN HEAR JUST FINE!'
Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were playing golf
one fine March day. One remarked to the other, 'Windy,
isn't it?' 'No,' the second man replied,
'it's Thursday.' And the third man chimed in,
'So am I. Let's have a beer.'
TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US !!!!
__________________________________________________ _____________________
A little old lady was running up and down the halls in a
nursing home. As she walked, she would flip up the hem of
her nightgown and say 'Supersex...' She walked up to
an elderly man in a wheelchair.. Flipping her gown at him,
she said, 'Supersex.' He sat silently for a moment
or two and finally answered, 'I'll take the
soup.'
TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US !!!!
__________________________________________________ __________________
Now this one is just too Precious...LOL!
Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over
the years, they had shared all kinds of activities and
adventures. Lately, their activities had been limited to
meeting a few times a week to play cards.
One day, they were playing cards when one looked at the
other and said, 'Now don't get mad at me ... I know
we've been friends for a long time, but I just can't
think of your name! I've thought And thought, but I
can't remember it. Please tell me what your name is..
Her friend glared at her for at least three minutes she
just stared and glared at her. Finally she said, 'How
soon do you need to know?'
TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US !!!!
__________________________________________________ _____________________
SENIOR DRIVING
As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car
phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife's voice
urgently warning him, 'Herman, I just heard on the news
that there's a car going the wrong way on Interstate 77.
Please be careful!' 'Heck,' said Herman,
'It's not just one car. It's hundreds of them!'
TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US !!!!
__________________________________________________ _______________
DRIVING
Two elderly women were out driving in a large car - both
could barely see over the dashboard. As they were cruising
along, they came to an intersection. The stoplight was red,
but they just went on through. The woman in the passenger
seat thought to herself 'I must be losing it. I could
have sworn we just went Through a red light.'
After a few more minutes, they came to another intersection
and the light was red. Again, they went right through. The
woman in the passenger seat was almost sure that the light
had been red but was really concerned that she was losing
it. She was getting nervous.
At the next intersection, sure enough, the light was red
and they went on through. So, She turned to the other woman
and said, 'Mildred, did you know that we just ran
through three red lights in a row? You could have killed us
both!'
Mildred turned to her and said, 'Oh, crap, am I driving?'
TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US !!!!
03-09-2010, 10:10 PM
#4
Super Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: East Coast
Posts: 2,221
Actually, I find all the jokes about "inevitable" memory loss depressing. Yes, it happens to many people, but it doesn't happen to everyone. The choices seem to be:
A. Eat right, get regular exercise and enough sleep, keep up your health and mental activities to minimize the changes of it happening and the severity if it does, or...
B. Live it up to the fullest, do whatever you want, and die before it happens to you.
A. Eat right, get regular exercise and enough sleep, keep up your health and mental activities to minimize the changes of it happening and the severity if it does, or...
B. Live it up to the fullest, do whatever you want, and die before it happens to you.
03-10-2010, 06:32 AM
#7
Super Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Clearwater, FL
Posts: 2,328
Originally Posted by Lisanne
Actually, I find all the jokes about "inevitable" memory loss depressing. Yes, it happens to many people, but it doesn't happen to everyone. The choices seem to be:
A. Eat right, get regular exercise and enough sleep, keep up your health and mental activities to minimize the changes of it happening and the severity if it does, or...
B. Live it up to the fullest, do whatever you want, and die before it happens to you.
A. Eat right, get regular exercise and enough sleep, keep up your health and mental activities to minimize the changes of it happening and the severity if it does, or...
B. Live it up to the fullest, do whatever you want, and die before it happens to you.
I don't think eating the right things, etc makes that great a difference - laughter and attitude do make a difference
laughing at the hand fate deals you is the best medicine there is. I personal thought these were cute
03-10-2010, 06:38 AM
#10
Super Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: East Coast
Posts: 2,221
Sorry, this wasn't aimed at you specifically, but at all the jokes on here (from all different people) on the subject. I know everyone who posts intends it to give a laugh. It's just that there are so many on the same subject. I'd reached the "Enough already!" point when I saw it. Didn't mean to trash your thread.
I agree that laughter and attitude are very beneficial, but in fact, poor health can bring on memory loss in old age. So staying healthy is one way to prevent some forms of memory loss and minimize others.
I did not, however, mean to turn your humor thread into a discussion on memory loss. Again, sorry.
I agree that laughter and attitude are very beneficial, but in fact, poor health can bring on memory loss in old age. So staying healthy is one way to prevent some forms of memory loss and minimize others.
I did not, however, mean to turn your humor thread into a discussion on memory loss. Again, sorry.
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