Thank you or no thank you?
#11
Power Poster
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Northern Indiana
Posts: 20,306
Send her a Thank You note telling her you will treasure them.
Maybe she wants to get her things in order while she is still able and not wait until she either needs help doing it or burdening someone else with it. And for some reason she picked these items for you and right now she really doesn't have to explain her decisions- maybe later if someone else was there they might "question " her decisions or not follow thru.
Maybe she wants to get her things in order while she is still able and not wait until she either needs help doing it or burdening someone else with it. And for some reason she picked these items for you and right now she really doesn't have to explain her decisions- maybe later if someone else was there they might "question " her decisions or not follow thru.
#13
It was very sweet of her to think and remember you. Regardless of what the final outcome will be, it's probably her way of getting her affairs in order while she's able. Maybe part of it is that she prefers the "immediate family" not to fight over her possessions when she's gone later, too. Say "thank you" for remembering you. No need to get all gushy or weepy or feel guilty about it.
When I remarked that I admired a old metal cannister set that hubby's aunt had displayed and even more so when she said that it was a wedding gift to her from my hubby's parents, she sent it along to us. I was quite sad that she sent it along so quickly but she said she wanted us to derive pleasure from it while she is still alive and who would treasure it more than us knowing it's history. How sweet is that???
When I remarked that I admired a old metal cannister set that hubby's aunt had displayed and even more so when she said that it was a wedding gift to her from my hubby's parents, she sent it along to us. I was quite sad that she sent it along so quickly but she said she wanted us to derive pleasure from it while she is still alive and who would treasure it more than us knowing it's history. How sweet is that???
#14
Super Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 1,341
Originally Posted by EskapetheNorm
If you can afford it, send flowers and say something like "Thank you, thoughts of you always brighten my day"
No need to dwell on the negative aspects ... take pictures of them all and then Goodwill the ones you really don't want.
No need to dwell on the negative aspects ... take pictures of them all and then Goodwill the ones you really don't want.
#15
Thank you everyone. I think I will include a little note with our holiday cards that I am sending out this weekend. I like the idea of letting her know that we will appreciate the items and are praying for her. We would love to call and talk to her but we have been told that she has requested that everyone stops calling. She does not want any phone calls :( If she wants to talk she will call you :( Makes us a little sad but she does live with her sister and brother inlaw. So she does have someone to make sure she is ok. It's a huge family. She is one of 10 kids. And all of them have had families of their own and so on and so on. So I can understand it. She is still working. So it is ok that she wants her time and to rest. I just wish she had a better outlook instead of the doom and gloom.
#16
I like that she is doing this now instead of letting someone do it later. My father had stage 4 lung cancer and they said he had about 6 months and that was about what he had even with treatments. My parents were in deep denial since he was the caretaker of my mother at the time. So saying goodbye was nearly impossible until he was in the hospital, but by then he had a stoke and couldn't talk. I wish he would have been able to give away something or mostly been able to share is memories.
I would thank her offer any support you think you can genuinely do and maybe share with her what she meant to you as an Aunt. She is grieving now I would guess.
I would thank her offer any support you think you can genuinely do and maybe share with her what she meant to you as an Aunt. She is grieving now I would guess.
#17
And I thought about flowers but not sure how she would take it. I know some people don't like flowers because they die :( And death is already on her mind. I don't want to make anything worse.
#18
Originally Posted by LovinMySoldier
And I thought about flowers but not sure how she would take it. I know some people don't like flowers because they die :( And death is already on her mind. I don't want to make anything worse.
#19
Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: PA
Posts: 680
My Huz & I are both cancer survivors. Doom & gloom come along with cancer diagnosis. Fear sets in instantly as soon as the doc says you have the big C. Not all will survive the treatments & those who do have ongoing thoughts of cancer returning, especially with those darn yearly tests.
I'd suggest sending a nice note thanking her for the treasured items. Tell her you will pray for her recovery & let her know if there's anything you can do to please contact you. Let her know you're willing to talk/listen if she's willing. If possible send her a nice lap quilt or fleece blanket. She'll be glad to have it during treatment.
I'd suggest sending a nice note thanking her for the treasured items. Tell her you will pray for her recovery & let her know if there's anything you can do to please contact you. Let her know you're willing to talk/listen if she's willing. If possible send her a nice lap quilt or fleece blanket. She'll be glad to have it during treatment.
#20
Super Member
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Merced, CA
Posts: 4,188
Originally Posted by raptureready
Just send a note saying that you'll be praying for her recovery, thank her for being so thoughtful and tell her that you'll treasure your gifts for years to come.
And I would also mention some of the things by name, remark on how thrilled you were to get something that matched ..........and how nice it will look sitting right near it so you can admire it. If she THINKS she will die soon maybe there's something that she isn't telling anyone.
Thank her again and tell her how much you love her. You don't have to mention the cancer, just tell her something that she did for you many years ago and you still love her for it.
AND, then write all this in your own handwriting. Us old folks are thrilled when someone goes to all that much trouble, just for us.
At the age of 77 I go through my old letters yearly, and sadly they grew fewer and fewer as the Internet grew and grew. I treasure the childish scribblings when a small one loved a gift, and hurried writing of kids when they were first out on their own..so give Auntie something to really and truly remember.
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