mandyrose

a fruit basket is a nice idea when I worked and someone had anything happen good or bad we all took up a collection and sent fruit baskets and always was appreciated more then flowers.....

jbj137

Good idea.
I have sent meat/cheese trays before and were well received.

noveltyjunkie

It depends on what the bereaved like to eat, and what the local custom is about what callers would expect to be offered as a refreshment. Where we live fruit would not be that useful but I guess if you live somewhere warm and/or the death happens in summer it could be good.

I would regard this as a separate matter from buying flowers for the service itself.

Lynnc

What about a gift card to a pizza place or some place like that. It could be used a few days later when life isn't totally back to normal but most of the people have left. You can have it delivered and still be in your PJ"s and your hair messy.

tessagin

Great idea!

nana20010

great idea were i grew up we would make a dinner for them to eat than are 1 to put in the freezer for later

Rose_P

Fruit is nice because it usually wouldn't have to be refrigerated right away. That can be quite a problem when many people tend to bring casserole dishes and such. Another reason that fruit is a good choice is that most people are able to eat at least some kinds of fruit no matter what their dietary restrictions might be. Also, like flowers, it adds a little color and life to a room - something pleasant to look at at a time when the world might seem grim.

In this area it's very common for the family of the deceased to mention a specific charity to give to "in lieu of flowers." I tend to lean toward doing that when it's their request. One of my DH's co-workers passed away a few weeks ago, and the request was for donations to the Wounded Warrior Project because the deceased was a proud veteran. The widow soon wrote a very touching thankyou note mentioning a young man they knew who was badly injured in war and who was helped by this charity.

Honestly, I think good people appreciate the thought that goes into cards, flowers or any gift you choose to give, and it's really best to do whatever feels right to you. If it's from the heart, you can't go wrong.

retiredteacher09

When my husband died, a former parent dropped off a bag of plates, spoons, cups, napkins, etc, like several others have mentioned. We also received a fruit bouquet, bars, hot dishes, and meat tray from others. I was so thankful since most of our families live out of town so when they came to help arrange the funeral, I had food to feed them without thinking about what to serve.

Connie

CMARAS1234

I do not ever send flowers. cost too much and really not needed' If it is family I send a check, if not I send casseroles for neighbors and cards for friends that i dont know too well. I dont do funerals. My spouse passed in Feb and I called everyone and said No Flowers and no funeral. His request Was dont put me in a gloom filled room. Where people we havent seen in 20 yrs, will come and shed crodile tears over you. WE took his ashes to sea. Just Family. we were married 47 years.

katesnanna

Back in the 90's I spent a year delivering flowers. I loved the job but I will never forget the day I started. I went out with the guy I was to work for to learn the route. As we drove back into the depot with a van full of beautiful flowers he said "these will all be compost in 3 days. One florist said they used the oldest flowers in their cool room for funerals because people wanted to see the flowers full blown. The cost of casket arrangements was enormous.
I think all the suggestions made here a fabulous. Thankfully I haven't been to many funerals but these suggestions will be kept because my friends & I are not getting any younger. I have always sent potted plants rather than flowers to friends or family if the have been in hospital or needed cheering up. Balloons are another great thing but obviously not for funerals.