Are we - as quilters - sometimes overly sensitive?
#21
#23
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I know that I sometimes allow myself to be hurt, annoyed, and/or angered by a comment someone has made.
But was the other person intentionally trying to be hurtful, irritating, and/or spiteful?
Sometimes the other person is - clueless - or thoughtless - or ignorant/uninformed.
And let's face it - not everyone (gasp!) is fond of quilted items. It's okay. We don't give quilted items to those people! I'm not crazy about crocheted doilies, but some people love to make them. In fact, I have a box full of them from my Mom's estate. But they are in a box - on a shelf - in the basement. Last time I looked at them was about five years ago.
But was the other person intentionally trying to be hurtful, irritating, and/or spiteful?
Sometimes the other person is - clueless - or thoughtless - or ignorant/uninformed.
And let's face it - not everyone (gasp!) is fond of quilted items. It's okay. We don't give quilted items to those people! I'm not crazy about crocheted doilies, but some people love to make them. In fact, I have a box full of them from my Mom's estate. But they are in a box - on a shelf - in the basement. Last time I looked at them was about five years ago.
If you're going to make a quilt as a gift make it in colors THEY like, not what you like.
If they like simple things, make a quilt that reflects their personality, not yours..... if it's boring to you, so be it.
Learn from the truth.....all things said are not spiteful.... many are constructive if you look at it as such.
Wouldn't it be boring if we all thought alike?
When you give a gift.....it is gone.....you no longer have the right to say how or if it's used......you had the fun of making it......your heart was in the right place.....that's it.
If you make something for a wedding, don't put names and dates on it......divorce rate is way too high.....it may well end up in the trash
Last edited by Wonnie; 09-25-2017 at 08:26 AM.
#24
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Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Michigan
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#25
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Could post a picture of a quilt with doilies please? I have many doilies and that sounds like a good way to utilize something not being used...
#26
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: Washington State
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One thing I learned when working in high powered, stressful law firms: a soft answer turns away wrath. This was very helpful in dealing with nasty opposing counsel and other parties. By not responding with angry words many conversations were diffused. I also learned that you don't have to like everyone or be their best friend but being polite and acknowledging them goes a long way in making the workplace pleasant. Giving quilts is how I show love and the quilt belongs to someone else to do what they want with it.
#27
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: Central Wisconsin
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Could you show us some? I have tatted doilies and snowflakes and would like to create a "picture frame" full of them for each of my children. When I get them done, I'll start with the Grands. I would like some ideas on how you did that and what your background was.
#28
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#29
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I personally hate to have people ask me what I think of their quilt, quilt top, or fabric selections while in a LQS. If it's beautiful, I have no problem telling them it's terrific, but if I think it's "ugly" I have trouble saying something nice because I know it won't sound sincere. I have learned not to say that's interesting, but I really haven't come up with words that won't hurt their feelings. I sometimes try to change the subject by asking where they got their pattern or comment on their fine sewing skills.
#30
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Sonoma County, CA
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I really try not to be sensitive about much. It's hard when someone is harshly criticizing something you've worked really hard on, but I can usually roll with the punches and find something in the situation to be amused about.
I had that experience at work, recently - someone new was pretty harshly ripping apart a program I wrote 5 years ago for a completely different team, not realizing it was internally built by someone right there in the room with him. I finally made a comment to let him know that I was the "idiot" who wrote it and the "oh crap" look on his face was priceless! He's actually not a bad guy, for whatever reason he seemed to think that huffing and puffing about this program would look impressive in the meeting but it just kind of ended up making him look like a jerk. I read the situation for what it was and didn't take it personally and I even let him off really easily in the meeting, and now I'm one of his favorite people. I could have gotten all upset and rushed to defend myself and my work and really beaten him up over it, but I am confident enough to let it all speak for itself and can afford to be kind and forgiving about it, and it makes my work relationships so much better. He brought in bagels for my entire department as an apology and now stops by my desk regularly just to say hello, and is always very careful to thank me personally for whatever little thing I fixed for him last, so I guess we're buddies now! LOL
quilt9226 is very right - a soft answer not only turns away wrath, it can also create friends in unexpected places.
I had that experience at work, recently - someone new was pretty harshly ripping apart a program I wrote 5 years ago for a completely different team, not realizing it was internally built by someone right there in the room with him. I finally made a comment to let him know that I was the "idiot" who wrote it and the "oh crap" look on his face was priceless! He's actually not a bad guy, for whatever reason he seemed to think that huffing and puffing about this program would look impressive in the meeting but it just kind of ended up making him look like a jerk. I read the situation for what it was and didn't take it personally and I even let him off really easily in the meeting, and now I'm one of his favorite people. I could have gotten all upset and rushed to defend myself and my work and really beaten him up over it, but I am confident enough to let it all speak for itself and can afford to be kind and forgiving about it, and it makes my work relationships so much better. He brought in bagels for my entire department as an apology and now stops by my desk regularly just to say hello, and is always very careful to thank me personally for whatever little thing I fixed for him last, so I guess we're buddies now! LOL
quilt9226 is very right - a soft answer not only turns away wrath, it can also create friends in unexpected places.
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