What gifting a quilt means to me
12-28-2010, 05:50 PM
#1
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It means I like you! Seriously, I only give quilts to people I care about a great deal. All of the recent threads about people's reactions got me thinking, and annoyed all anew, at a recent quilt gifting situation that's a bit different than those I've read, so please allow me to vent.
My MIL and I have always had a good relationship, I thought. She had mentioned several times how much she loves quilts, though not in a begging-for-one kind of way. So, I went ahead and made her one. It took me forever. I usually ignore imperfections and relax when quilting, but this one meant a lot to me, so I was much more critical of my own work than normal. The quilt was very difficult and time consuming, and I was very relieved and proud when I gave it to my MIL. Honestly, the thing was such a PITA to make, I'm happy never to see it again, but, I digress. My MIL loved it! She apparently dragged it everywhere for months to show to all of her friends. She traveled all over with it, even taking it to her hairdresser to share! I was thrilled that she loved it so much.
So what is the problem you ask (if you've even stayed with me this long)? I just recently found out that she thinks I might not like her. WTH!?!?! (please excuse my language, even in its texty form). But seriously, what the @#^&? I've spend literally hundreds of hours over the years making her gifts, including the most complicated quilt I've ever done, and she thinks I might not like her? What do I have to do? She's the only adult I've ever made a quilt for (other than my husband, of course). I don't do that for people I don't like! She does love quilts, and she knows how much work goes into them, so I don't know what she's thinking. What else can I do to let this woman know I like her? Being me, I would love to sit her down and tell her I like her, but my family thinks I'll come across as too intimidating and she'll cry, and not in a good way, so that's out.
Anyway, thanks for letting me vent. I love that she loved my quilt, I just don't know how or why she could not realize that when gifted a quilt the quilt-maker likes her! Believe me, I do not give quilts to my enemies.
My MIL and I have always had a good relationship, I thought. She had mentioned several times how much she loves quilts, though not in a begging-for-one kind of way. So, I went ahead and made her one. It took me forever. I usually ignore imperfections and relax when quilting, but this one meant a lot to me, so I was much more critical of my own work than normal. The quilt was very difficult and time consuming, and I was very relieved and proud when I gave it to my MIL. Honestly, the thing was such a PITA to make, I'm happy never to see it again, but, I digress. My MIL loved it! She apparently dragged it everywhere for months to show to all of her friends. She traveled all over with it, even taking it to her hairdresser to share! I was thrilled that she loved it so much.
So what is the problem you ask (if you've even stayed with me this long)? I just recently found out that she thinks I might not like her. WTH!?!?! (please excuse my language, even in its texty form). But seriously, what the @#^&? I've spend literally hundreds of hours over the years making her gifts, including the most complicated quilt I've ever done, and she thinks I might not like her? What do I have to do? She's the only adult I've ever made a quilt for (other than my husband, of course). I don't do that for people I don't like! She does love quilts, and she knows how much work goes into them, so I don't know what she's thinking. What else can I do to let this woman know I like her? Being me, I would love to sit her down and tell her I like her, but my family thinks I'll come across as too intimidating and she'll cry, and not in a good way, so that's out.
Anyway, thanks for letting me vent. I love that she loved my quilt, I just don't know how or why she could not realize that when gifted a quilt the quilt-maker likes her! Believe me, I do not give quilts to my enemies.
12-28-2010, 05:53 PM
#2
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Location: missouri
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so true so true
12-28-2010, 05:54 PM
#3
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Location: Maine-ly Florida
Posts: 3,920
I think I'd really look at the person who told you that and wonder about any hidden agenda that person might have (unless it's your husband). I never really understand why people pass that kind of info along. Is it meant to make you happier? More secure with her? I just don't get that.
But, I am glad that she loved your quilt. I'd take her actions over someone else's talk anytime.
But, I am glad that she loved your quilt. I'd take her actions over someone else's talk anytime.
12-28-2010, 05:55 PM
#4
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Location: Ohio
Posts: 17,068
Wow, that's a different twist, isn't it?? Sounds to me like she is just insecure and you can't do a darn thing if that's the case. Security has to come from within.
I applaud you for making her such a wonderful quilt!!
I applaud you for making her such a wonderful quilt!!
12-28-2010, 05:56 PM
#5
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Location: Coast of Maine
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how about sending her a note - something like:
I heard that your new quilt has visited many people ~ I'm thrilled that you think so much of it. Only special people get quilts from me and I'm happy to say you are one!
I heard that your new quilt has visited many people ~ I'm thrilled that you think so much of it. Only special people get quilts from me and I'm happy to say you are one!
12-28-2010, 05:56 PM
#6
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Location: Jacksonville NC
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Maybe she is just an insecure kind of person or one who thinks she doesn't deserve to be loved for who she is. Just keep on treating her well and things may turn around.
12-28-2010, 05:56 PM
#7
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Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: LA
Posts: 1,551
Maybe you just need to express your true feelings in a calm way (without the language used here, of course ;-). Spend time with her doing fun stuff and tell her in no uncertain terms that you appreciate that the two of you are friends.
12-28-2010, 05:57 PM
#8
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Show her this thread and what you just shared with us! That may open her eyes!
12-28-2010, 05:57 PM
#9
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Originally Posted by mommamac
how about sending her a note - something like:
I heard that your new quilt has visited many people ~ I'm thrilled that you think so much of it. Only special people get quilts from me and I'm happy to say you are one!
I heard that your new quilt has visited many people ~ I'm thrilled that you think so much of it. Only special people get quilts from me and I'm happy to say you are one!
12-28-2010, 05:59 PM
#10
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Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: North Texas
Posts: 8,710
No matter how much I do for my MIL who lives on our property in her own house and I keep her yard mowed, pay her sattelite and water, run errands, take her to doctors, everything....and she thinks I don't like her. I love her and sometimes I don't like her because she can say some pretty mean things at whim. But my DH is her only son and I respect her for that. So don't take it personally, you know you have done everything to show it, let her learn to feel it. *H*U*G*S*
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