my-ty

It truly is "the thought that counts not the gift". It is easy to say but a challenge to follow. When I receive gifts that are not my style or not to my liking, I practice my gratitude because I care more about the gift giver than any gift they might give me.

I try to make it easier on the recipients of my "surprise" handmade gifts, by saying I enjoyed thinking about them as I created their gift but if the gift doesn't fit or suit their house, I am not offended and please pass it on to someone that can use the gift. I have a few friends that will never receive handmade gifts from me because they are not able to appreciate the amount of time I spend in creating the gift.... they get purchased gifts and everyone is happy.

my-ty

Great solutions to difficult gift giving situations.

Kitsie

Depending on the person, I ask, "You seem to enjoy seeing my quilts. May I make one for you (or for baby) ? Or are you like my family who prefers Afghans! Not everyone wants to own a Quilt!"

Amazingly people have responded honestly!

Friday1961

Fantastic question....and one I think we all struggle with. I made and gave an attic window with dogs quilt to my dog loving son and DIL and while well received, I think to her it may be a burden. He's a collector; she's not a keeper or "saver" of anything (not sure how they live together!). While I think she appreciates the effort I went to, I'm not sure she really wants something around that she doesn't really "want", if that makes sense. I recently made a Spiderman Attic Window especially for him because he collects Spiderman items, but again, I think the mere presence of such things in her house may make her uncomfortable in that she doesn't keep anything just to "have" it.

So, from now I will only give a quilt or something else homemade if expressly asked for it.

That's my plan right now, anyway.

bearisgray

It is awkward, for me, anyway - to get something I really don't care for - and I know the giver's feelings would be very hurt if I passed it on or tried to return it. So the item is setting on a shelf in my closet.

I think that's why some of us resort to gift certificates or cash or easily exchanged items when gifting.

Our families have pretty much stopped doing gift exchanges. It has made life soooooo much simpler.
Most of us are at the stage where we pretty much have what we need/want - and the "kids" don't have space for doo-dads.

I think it is helpful/stress relieving if the giver says "this made me think of you - but it's okay to pass it on when you are 'done' with it."

I prefer potholders and towels and the like to be utilitarian/functional rather than "cutesy" - I am able to appreciate the creativity in some of those items - but - - -

I figure if anything is on the counter that needs a cover, it does not deserve counter space and should be put away. But some people like that look - the trick is to know who prefers what.

pal

My friend asked for a quilt. She likes my "style". I made her a quilt to go over the arm of the chair in the living room, matching her colors perfectly - a quilt to be casually draped over the chair for ambiance. (I'm pretty cool like that)

She draped it over the top of the bench in the hall where they put their shoes when they come in. Guess I'm not quite that cool after all.......

My Dad always said "You win some, you lose some..."

crafty pat

I always use my gifts even if it is something I don't find to my taste. I love the giver and would never hurt them by not letting them know how very touched I am that they thought of me. I never give a quilt unless I know it is wanted and I know the style and colors they like. I have friends who don't care for hand made gifts but most of them and my family love quilts and crafted gifts.

AnnieF

I have heard stories of people telling their family that if they don't want a quilt that was given as a gift, or if they used it and didn't want to use it anymore that they would like you to give it back to them. I am horrified by that. Over the years, I've struggled with the idea that my quilts would be misused but finally decided (after visiting my sister and finding the shamrock quilt that I hand-quilted being used as a blanket for the dog) that once it was out of my hands, the giftee could use it, give it away or whatever, I wouldn't be offended by it. I mean, what do people do with a whole closet full of their own quilts? I love to make them, it's a passion and I love to give most of them away....it's what I do. My daughter told me the thing she loves the most about me is that if the baby is going on the floor, I take the quilt off the back of the couch and toss it on the floor to protect the baby....I feel the same way about putting a quilt on the grass....it's what I make them for.

tessagin

Because of different comments (derogatory remarks) I quit giving anything handmade to some family members. they get plastic and it doesn't last any longer than the handmade items that literally went to the garbage. DH got upset the other day because I chose to wash a couple of afghans his mother made for him. I used a frame I made so they could dry and be blocked. I wanted to put them on the sofa. They were starting to take on the odor of being in a wooden chest of drawers. He took a video and sent it to his sister thinking she'd be upset. His mother was delighted in seeing the video. She asked for a quilt. He wants me to help him make one. Another project but very special one and she would like purple and red. He's cringing but we googled purple and red quilts. We'll see, he keeps checking out the bargello. Ugh!!

Doggramma

All you really can do is say thank you and then do with the gift as you wish. I've also received gifts that I really didn't like or are totally not my taste. Eventually they make it over to Goodwill unfortunately. I've spent too many years having the unwanted items in a closet.

For example, we visited my husband's aunt in CA and went to a beautiful shop with handmade, expensive crafty items. There was a vase of gorgeous blown glass flowers, each one quite expensive. For Christmas his aunt gave me one flower. That was very nice of her, but it was way too long to use in a vase by itself. I'm sure she thought I could add to it, but I wasn't going to spend hundreds of dollars buying glass flowers!