dmackey

It was at Christmas dinner with the whole family, when my son was about 5 years old and he asked if we wanted to hear a joke. He stood up and asked "How can you tell if a snowman is a boy or a girl?" and with great delight he yells "Snowballs!" We all tried to keep a straight face, and he then decided we had no clue, so he bent his legs, separated them, and pointed to his crotch, and said "Get it now?". He then had to ask us all why we were crying as we bent our heads with shaking shoulders trying to hide our laughter.

My youngest brother's first child was just 2 1/2 years old and I was sitting with him on my lap, on the floor by the fireplace, with the whole family around, reading "The Night Before Christmas" and when I was done, he pushed against my abundant chest and stopped to take a squeeze or two and said "Oh, Aunti! You are so soft!" and then invited the room to touch me! Everyone got a great laugh out of that.

He then decided he needed to talk to JUST his dad. Come to find out, he told his father he needed to keep the fire going all night, so that Santa could not break into the house through the fireplace and needed to ring the bell like everyone else did. He didn't want any strangers coming in while they were sleeping. When he was put to bed that night, he asked his Dad to make sure the fire was going and all the doors were locked and told his mom to leave the milk, cookies and carrots outside.

My bro now has three little boys and the oldest at 7 said "piss" one day. He was told that was a swear word and never to say it again. So the 3 year old pipes up with "Sh*t is a bad word too, so you have to say poop, right Dad?" His mom and I had to run from the room to hide our laughter and left my brother to handle it.

The men in my family, my son and my brothers,their male children, all think farting is a hilarious sport and always try to outdo each other (so embarrassing!~) They turn absolutely purple with hysterical laughter. So, the bro's three boys get in on the game and the SIL says, "I don't see what is so funny." and the 7 year old chimes in with "that is because you are not a Mackey!" I guess marrying into a family does not include understanding farting humor.

Last but not least, when my 5 year old nephew went poop and come out of the bathroom, he was asked if he cleaned his bum good. To prove it, he dropped his pants, turned his back to us, bent over, spread his cheeks, and said "Does it look clean?".

These are just a few of the stories I CAN tell!

Diane

Sew Krazy Girl

My 6-yr old came in from playing outside with his friends and asked, "Hey dad - what is sex?" Dad said, "It's a question on a job application." Satisfied, son went out to continue playing with his friends. LOL!

Sew Krazy Girl

My friends 5-yr old son had to draw a self-portrait in Kindergarten. He drew a stick figure of a boy but forgot to draw the arms. Teacher said - Brian didn't you forget something? He promptly completed it by drawing in a penis. Guess some things are more important than others.

Aunt Retta

At one time I was teaching in northern Arizona. I was working one on one with a little handicapped Native American girl. My principal came in and handing me my paycheck, said, "Here's your check."
Her eyes got as round as saucers and she said,"You get a check, where you work!

Aunt Retta

Oh another time this same little one several years later came in early one morning and touched the wilted flower on my desk, she said, "Uh-oh it is burnt out."

Craftygirl

My gorgous 2 1/2 year old GS was watching me finish my dinner the other night. As I took the last mouthful he nodded his head and said "good boy, Nana."

Joya

My washing machine had a plumbing problem, so I was filling it with buckets of water. The small girl I was babysitting watched me carefully, then observed "Our washing machine only needs soap and clothes"

GrandmK

We had a special dog that was named Bo. He got out one night and didn't come home. We were not overly concerned as it had happend before. We live in a small town. We were getting ready for church on Sunday morning and the police department called to ask if we had a dog named Bo and I was excited as they must have found him. (I knew we might pay a small fine but that didn't matter) When I said yes they said he was found dead in a neighbors dog house. We were all crying and upset and my 5 year old son said "Whey are we all crying when Bo is up in heaven with God" We went to church!!!

beachlady

When my middle DD was 8 or 9 she went to a beach in Delaware with friends and the parents. She bought her father a foam holder for drinks. The mother was agast at what it said, but didn't want my daughter to know what she had done. Know the saying "A good man is hard to fine?" Well this said "A hard man is a good fine." My Dh and I laughed so hard behind her back.

purplefiend

When my son was 4 he explained how the critters that live in sea shells get out."They get scared and run out."