What's so wrong with being a homebody?
#53
I had my kids when I was young so DH and I were the only couple in our group of friends that had small children. We always had to find a babysitter when everyone wanted to go out and do things. Our kids weren't really welcome to cook outs and other of our group activities and I understood because it was all adults there. Fast forward to when my kids were teens and now our friends had small children. It is expected to be great to bring their kids to our movie nights, outings, and dinners. I told DH I went along with not bringing our kids to functions with them so I was not going to have a baby plopped on my lap when getting together with them now.
#55
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Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Seacoast New Hampshire
Posts: 1,181
Originally Posted by MadQuilter
WHy do you think your family is making that suggestion? Do they think you are lonely? Is it only because their lifestyle is so different from yours and they cannot understand you? Or is there more to it?
One sister has a camp in ME and my mother and other sister and their friends always go up. To me, hanging around talking about the same old thing and eating and drinking all weekend is not fun, I'd rather be sewing or working in the yard or doing something productive. I like to relax too, but not like that.
That's all. :)
#56
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Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: The Finger Lakes of upstate NY
Posts: 3,572
If you are happy as you are, there is nothing wrong. Perhaps others are not as content as you are and feel a need to fill their time with "running" so that they can't really think about how they feel. Your peace may make them uncomfortable because they can't relate to it.
A friend and I joke that we'd both be happy to be hermits. We see each other once a month at quilt guild, and that's about it. Occasional e-mails, never phone calls.
DH is very active in Rotary. I've made it very clear that I will not go to any more of their dinners (every few months, they have a dinner where most members bring their spouse or significant other). I tried going, was miserable. After a few times, I asked that he not make me feel pressured to go. After a few rounds of that not working I told him plain and simple that I was not going.
I do have friends, and sometimes we get together, but as a general rule, I prefer to be alone. Hate shopping with others, traipsing around stores/malls browsing. I want to get in, get whatever I have to get, and get out. Guess as I've gotten older, making others happy has become less important!
All of the above said, if one isn't really happy with their situation, they are the only one who can change it. DH has a sister that is miserable - to be with, to talk to. She complains about everyone and everything. Yes, she is alone - but she is not happy. There's a big difference.
A friend and I joke that we'd both be happy to be hermits. We see each other once a month at quilt guild, and that's about it. Occasional e-mails, never phone calls.
DH is very active in Rotary. I've made it very clear that I will not go to any more of their dinners (every few months, they have a dinner where most members bring their spouse or significant other). I tried going, was miserable. After a few times, I asked that he not make me feel pressured to go. After a few rounds of that not working I told him plain and simple that I was not going.
I do have friends, and sometimes we get together, but as a general rule, I prefer to be alone. Hate shopping with others, traipsing around stores/malls browsing. I want to get in, get whatever I have to get, and get out. Guess as I've gotten older, making others happy has become less important!
All of the above said, if one isn't really happy with their situation, they are the only one who can change it. DH has a sister that is miserable - to be with, to talk to. She complains about everyone and everything. Yes, she is alone - but she is not happy. There's a big difference.
#57
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 2,893
I much prefer my 'ME' time at home. I'm a homebody through and through. I work retail and love dealing with the public, but don't socialize much. I don't go out with many people other than my DH, DD and SIL.
My DH is a home body too. I'm thankful that for the most part we work different shifts so I get my 'ME' time. I"d go batty if I didn't have that.
I do agree there is a difference in being alone and being lonely. I think we are all comfortable with who we are and are perfectly normal being homebodies.
My DH is a home body too. I'm thankful that for the most part we work different shifts so I get my 'ME' time. I"d go batty if I didn't have that.
I do agree there is a difference in being alone and being lonely. I think we are all comfortable with who we are and are perfectly normal being homebodies.
#58
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Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 15,639
Originally Posted by Butterfli19
There is no more to it other than they are all out-and-abouts and I never have been. I'm the "odd one".
I'm an extroverted introvert, if that makes any sense. I like people (for the most part) but I prefer small settings. Large crowds (quilt shows excluded) make me anxious. At home, I can have long discussions with myself and even get in the occasional argument. lol
#59
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Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Florida
Posts: 17,636
Originally Posted by DianD
My husband calls me a "Hermit!" I love my peace and quiet, and can go for long periods of time without leaving the house. I even hate having to go kill the grocery beast and drag it home, but there is a fabric store on the way...seems to make the trip much more bearable!
"I even hate having to go kill the grocery beast and drag it home..."
I hate buying groceries! I am a homebody down to my bones, and for the rest of my livelong life...I will refer to it as killing the grocery beast.
I love that :-D
#60
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Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Florida
Posts: 17,636
MadQuilter
.....I'm an extroverted introvert, if that makes any sense. I like people (for the most part) but I prefer small settings. Large crowds (quilt shows excluded) make me anxious. At home, I can have long discussions with myself and even get in the occasional argument. lol[/quote]
well, now you have me thinking Mad.
I would definitely call myself a homebody and i have. There's no where I'd rather be, even if it was an all expense paid round trip with all the trimmings. Not saying i wouldn't think about going...I'm saying i'd rather be here.
Once in a blue moon, i need 'out'...and i'll go see my grandbabies, or go window shopping or to a fabric store and then I am good for a while.
Now, about this extroverted-introverted stuff...lol.
Lots of people on this board think bc i comment a lot or pm, or whatever, that I am extroverted. hardly!
But over the years, while we started out with DH as the really outgoing one, friend to everyone, and a joke a minute...he lost his hearing and lots of his sense of humor, when he lost the ability to communicate well.
I had to step up to the plate to help, and in the process, learned to come out of my shell quite a bit.
If I'm able, i will do what needs to be done, or what's necessary, but all in all, I'm really quiet as a mouse:mrgreen:
(it's just some mice talk more than others :wink: )
.....I'm an extroverted introvert, if that makes any sense. I like people (for the most part) but I prefer small settings. Large crowds (quilt shows excluded) make me anxious. At home, I can have long discussions with myself and even get in the occasional argument. lol[/quote]
well, now you have me thinking Mad.
I would definitely call myself a homebody and i have. There's no where I'd rather be, even if it was an all expense paid round trip with all the trimmings. Not saying i wouldn't think about going...I'm saying i'd rather be here.
Once in a blue moon, i need 'out'...and i'll go see my grandbabies, or go window shopping or to a fabric store and then I am good for a while.
Now, about this extroverted-introverted stuff...lol.
Lots of people on this board think bc i comment a lot or pm, or whatever, that I am extroverted. hardly!
But over the years, while we started out with DH as the really outgoing one, friend to everyone, and a joke a minute...he lost his hearing and lots of his sense of humor, when he lost the ability to communicate well.
I had to step up to the plate to help, and in the process, learned to come out of my shell quite a bit.
If I'm able, i will do what needs to be done, or what's necessary, but all in all, I'm really quiet as a mouse:mrgreen:
(it's just some mice talk more than others :wink: )
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