When do you quit giving gifts to "kids"
01-04-2013, 03:24 AM
#92
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Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Midwest
Posts: 5,051
I think you have our permission to stop giving gifts to these particular relatives. This past summer I talked to my pastor about buying gifts for my adult children who have way too much of everything and can buy anything they want. I really don't like buying them gifts anymore, it seems to be more stressful each year. He told me it was fine to stop buying adult children gifts, so this year I made a large donation to charity. I also told them that I did not want any gifts as I was 'blessed' enough. Everyone was happy with my idea (probably not DIL) but that's OK. I am buying the 5 grandchildren gifts still but only until they are 21 years old, which isn't too far off. I usually bake cookies and banana bread and loads of candy to give away, but this year I did not do it. We were leaving town soon and my DH said I needed to rethink the baking also. It was very freeing for me and I had a great holiday season. I did give away some to a relative who is handicapped and can't fix it for herself, but that was all I did. I had a natural holiday this year.
Sandy
01-04-2013, 05:52 AM
#93
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Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: New York
Posts: 5,665
I have over the years mailed out a few money wedding gifts to friends adult children getting married. I never received any thank you's. I still can't get over it. A few years ago a close friend's daugther had her first baby and I sent a lot of nice clothes for the baby. My friend thanked me but not a word or note from the new mother. I won't be sending anything else if she has a second child. I think it's horrible not to say thank you by mail or email or even text. NO excuse.
A friend of mine she and her husband still give gift cards to their four adult married children on birthdays, anniversaries and Christmas. But my friend and her husband receive NOTHING from these adult children..not even a card on any special day!!! They all work they are not poverty sticken but even a card would be a treat for my friend. At Christmas they give one nice gift to each of their 11 grandchildren in person but not their parents. But my friend says even that is becoming a burden.
This friend babysits often for all of these Grandkids. She is the kind that cannot say no. But yet I hear about it all the time.
LIfe is too short. If it is a burden then I say time to find a new way of doing things or stopping things so it won't be a burden.
A friend of mine she and her husband still give gift cards to their four adult married children on birthdays, anniversaries and Christmas. But my friend and her husband receive NOTHING from these adult children..not even a card on any special day!!! They all work they are not poverty sticken but even a card would be a treat for my friend. At Christmas they give one nice gift to each of their 11 grandchildren in person but not their parents. But my friend says even that is becoming a burden.
This friend babysits often for all of these Grandkids. She is the kind that cannot say no. But yet I hear about it all the time.
LIfe is too short. If it is a burden then I say time to find a new way of doing things or stopping things so it won't be a burden.
Last edited by nygal; 01-04-2013 at 05:59 AM.
01-04-2013, 06:15 AM
#94
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Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Midwest
Posts: 5,051
I never recieved a thank you fr the HS graduation $$ i sent to the daughter of one of my closest friends. I think her mom woud be very unhappy to know this but I did not mention it. I will skip the College graduation gift entitlement in a few years. I work hard for my $$$ and I need to save for my retirement. Sad.
Sandy
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