When People Ask For Hand Outs and Donations
#91
Power Poster
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Whitewater, WI
Posts: 24,528
Well, Bettia, you can have that one, but can I just have a BITE...and a few french fries PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!
#92
Banned
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Ephrata, WA
Posts: 8,802
I have had to deal wih this subject in my own life and what I tell my kids is that a gift is a gift and once you give it then there are no conditions. I think that itis about the giving part of things and letting go of our own greed and not what the other person is doing...they have to live with themselves and their own deeds....I trust in my instincts and the information that I have...if I feel someone is dishonest or I don't feel the "urge" to give something than I don't....if I need to give then I give.....there is no foll proof way of doing things...so I just feel like I am helping myself more than anyone else.
#93
I've learned that the secret of giving is to have no strings attached.
I used to get really upset by a family member who insisted that gifts be used a certain way or only in certain circumstances. Since I don't want anyone else to feel that way, I just give whatever I give and then forget about it, no need for paybacks, thank yous or anything.
Now a thank you is always appreciated and I prefer that anyone who gets something from me would pass it on rather than try to pay me back, but if they feel the need to payback, then I will accept graciously.
I used to get really upset by a family member who insisted that gifts be used a certain way or only in certain circumstances. Since I don't want anyone else to feel that way, I just give whatever I give and then forget about it, no need for paybacks, thank yous or anything.
Now a thank you is always appreciated and I prefer that anyone who gets something from me would pass it on rather than try to pay me back, but if they feel the need to payback, then I will accept graciously.
#94
Power Poster
Join Date: May 2008
Location: MN
Posts: 24,666
I am more interested in giving again to people that seem appreciative - especially folks in the relative group.
I do not expect anyone to give up their first-born child or pension fund, but a "thank you" - even if one is less than elated about the offering - seems reasonable - and good manners.
I've learned a long time ago that "keeping things in circulation" works out a lot better than "exchanging" or "paying back"
I do not expect anyone to give up their first-born child or pension fund, but a "thank you" - even if one is less than elated about the offering - seems reasonable - and good manners.
I've learned a long time ago that "keeping things in circulation" works out a lot better than "exchanging" or "paying back"
#95
Originally Posted by barnbum
What I get weary of is the "Oh, I wish I could afford it." line. It just gets old.
I lived for many, many years on SS survivors benefits and I raised two kids on it. Since my dead ex wasn't exactly gainfully employed on a regular basis we got the minimum. You'd be surprised at what you can afford if you really want to.
#96
Originally Posted by Scissor Queen
Originally Posted by barnbum
What I get weary of is the "Oh, I wish I could afford it." line. It just gets old.
I lived for many, many years on SS survivors benefits and I raised two kids on it. Since my dead ex wasn't exactly gainfully employed on a regular basis we got the minimum. You'd be surprised at what you can afford if you really want to.
I had to give up doing crafts for about 8 or 9 months due to being so poor I could not buy supplies. Then I took in ironing for awhile to get me going again. Then I got a babysitting job for after school kids. So I have not always had it easy by no means. And yes you sure can get creative. Now that we are empty nesters things are much better but I also know that the bottom could fall out one day.
#97
Originally Posted by sharon b
For me I watch and listen and see how long they have been a member. Nothing is fool proof. But if I see a new member always hinting around or asking , I shy away from that. Others have been here awhile and you know more about their background.
Some ask, ask, ask and never acknowledge that they have received anything publicly , like they don't want you to know how much they have already received.
Others post as soon as they receive something to say THANK YOU .
It is a trust thing and you just hope for honesty.
Some ask, ask, ask and never acknowledge that they have received anything publicly , like they don't want you to know how much they have already received.
Others post as soon as they receive something to say THANK YOU .
It is a trust thing and you just hope for honesty.
#98
This has been interesting. I think that the person asking for selveges is kind of creative because where else would you get them but from a giant group of quilters! I have never saved a selvege they would go into the garbage but I know they are the rage now. But now I think I'll save them for someone...anyone!
In the case of other situations, there are dishonest people here and there, I don't think the selvege seeker is too off the wall for joining and asking. (Love this board)
Just my opinion...now I'm going to go have a steak and fries!
Magpie
In the case of other situations, there are dishonest people here and there, I don't think the selvege seeker is too off the wall for joining and asking. (Love this board)
Just my opinion...now I'm going to go have a steak and fries!
Magpie
#99
I have requested fabric on here to make charity quilts. I am also on SSI and have a very tight budget. Several of you helped me out and I really appreciated it. In some cases it was a lot of work to determine what box came from who so I could thank that person. I also pay it forward when I can. It's the right thing to do. I haven't had any time to quilt lately because I've been dealing with a dog that had cancer. Now that that's all over with (I hope and pray) I can get back to quilting. I will be posting pictures of the quilts made from the donated fabrics. So, If I'm one of the ones you are referring, I've only just been delayed and quilts and pictures will be coming soon. Thanks to all that helped. I really do appreciate it. I'm not taking advantage of anyone and all quilts will go to charity. That's what I do.
#100
Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Montana
Posts: 683
I think overall the members of this board are rock solid honest. I've sent a lot of boxes to people and have been thanked many times over. I agree with the the posting above, a gift is a gift.
There is no shame in asking for help if you need it. We all need help in our lives one way or another, we are not immune to it. And it is fun to receive fabric from different places. And the double score bonus for me is that it makes room for me to buy more fabric :):) Life is way too short to be grumpy over the little things. If you receive an unwanted email, delete it- you're in charge of your mail.
AND FOR THE RECORD BEV- ANYTIME, ANYPLACE, ANYHOW, YOU NEED HELP- ASK... PUBLICLY OR PRIVATELY.... YOU ARE THE MOST 'ABLE' AND GENEROUS DISABLED PERSON I KNOW. LOVE YA- CATHY M
There is no shame in asking for help if you need it. We all need help in our lives one way or another, we are not immune to it. And it is fun to receive fabric from different places. And the double score bonus for me is that it makes room for me to buy more fabric :):) Life is way too short to be grumpy over the little things. If you receive an unwanted email, delete it- you're in charge of your mail.
AND FOR THE RECORD BEV- ANYTIME, ANYPLACE, ANYHOW, YOU NEED HELP- ASK... PUBLICLY OR PRIVATELY.... YOU ARE THE MOST 'ABLE' AND GENEROUS DISABLED PERSON I KNOW. LOVE YA- CATHY M
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