Worst gift??
08-21-2009, 11:05 AM
#41
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Originally Posted by MadQuilter
Originally Posted by kwhite
the first gift I got from the Inlaws after my wedding was a cemetary plot.
08-21-2009, 08:30 PM
#43
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Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: AZ and CT
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Originally Posted by Ninnie
What a horrid daughter-in-law!@!!
.
.
I think asking to 'borrow' back a quilt you've 'given' to someone is not nice, whether it's your DIL, your best friend, or someone you gave it to as a wedding gift. The way I read what Pam posted was the MIL asked AFTER she gave away the quilt when the DIL called to ask her what was needed to hang it.
BUT DIL was off-base complaining about the MIL's gifts to her children being 'second-hand. That complaint does show a lack of appreciation for the art of quilting.
08-21-2009, 09:44 PM
#44
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Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Arkansas
Posts: 844
Well I guess i'm the lucky one or not my mother inlaw passed away twenty yrs ago but we got along though even then.when me an hubby first got together we stayed with her an took care of her until she wanted her daughter to live with her.Her daughter drank an i didn't.thats the only problem we ever had.
08-21-2009, 10:04 PM
#45
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Location: Arkansas
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i've got a good one for you i restitched a rose aplicaid quilt for my sister inlaw an i spent a lot of time in getting it done just like the first quilter had done it.It was my sister inlaws an her mother inlaw had made it.Well when iI handed it to her here is what she had to say.[what do i owe you for this.I was crushed the way she had said it an things just haven't been the same since.I still go to her house but i don't talk about the quilt or anything else i've done for her.
08-22-2009, 04:46 PM
#46
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my mil used to ask me what i wanted for my b'day. i'd say "there's a cute cotton nightgown in town, with pretty trim. it's yellow and sleeveless. it would be nice and cool for summer." i would get beige and brown pajamas.
eventually i started returning them. eventually she got the hint, and gave me gift certificates. (she wanted her son back. only child.)
the worst present is any present that isn't what you really have your heart set on. especially if it's within reach. especially if someone knows.
who knows why people do this. passive aggressive, is my 2 cents worth.
eventually i started returning them. eventually she got the hint, and gave me gift certificates. (she wanted her son back. only child.)
the worst present is any present that isn't what you really have your heart set on. especially if it's within reach. especially if someone knows.
who knows why people do this. passive aggressive, is my 2 cents worth.
08-24-2009, 06:47 PM
#47
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Originally Posted by pittsburgpam
I never had a problem with my MIL, got along just fine though didn't see her more than a couple of times a month.
I was just astonished that the above DIL complained about getting quilts that had been in shows just so the MIL could win prizes herself. Obviously there is a major failure to communicate, or educate. Or maybe just one of those people who don't appreciate hand-made things or know their worth.
I was just astonished that the above DIL complained about getting quilts that had been in shows just so the MIL could win prizes herself. Obviously there is a major failure to communicate, or educate. Or maybe just one of those people who don't appreciate hand-made things or know their worth.
Yes, sounds like there is a lack of communication and most of the time, in life, it takes two...
08-24-2009, 07:03 PM
#48
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Originally Posted by Feathers
Originally Posted by butterflywing
there must be something wrong with me. when i give a gift, i take into consideration what the person wants, needs, likes. what size, color, etc.
sometimes it's a giftcard. sometimes a toolchest. sometimes a gift of jewelry. but it's always for that person.
that MIL is not doing that. SHE's having fun, doing what SHE likes to do, making quilts. SHE gets satisfaction winnings ribbons. that's fine. if she then wants to pass them along - great! but they are not xmas gifts to anyone else but herself. anyone who gets them is lucky. but let's not confuse gifting with shedding. she gives these quilts once she has no use for them. if she made a quilt for each person and gave it for the pleasure of the intended person, then it would really be a gift. this way she wants three-for-the-money. 1- the joy of the making 2- the pride of the winning and lastly, 3 - the gratitude of the recipient. note the order of importance here.
what if the dil really wanted slipcovers for her carseats? and the kids wanted some electronic game? what if she actually had to forgo buying fabric in order to give someone else the gift they really wanted? in other words, a gift of the heart. what then?
from that paragraph, the dil is not expressing herself well, but she knows that what she's getting IS unneeded castoffs. regardless of their beauty and/or value. that mil has put herself first. that is not a true gift.
shoot me at dawn.
sometimes it's a giftcard. sometimes a toolchest. sometimes a gift of jewelry. but it's always for that person.
that MIL is not doing that. SHE's having fun, doing what SHE likes to do, making quilts. SHE gets satisfaction winnings ribbons. that's fine. if she then wants to pass them along - great! but they are not xmas gifts to anyone else but herself. anyone who gets them is lucky. but let's not confuse gifting with shedding. she gives these quilts once she has no use for them. if she made a quilt for each person and gave it for the pleasure of the intended person, then it would really be a gift. this way she wants three-for-the-money. 1- the joy of the making 2- the pride of the winning and lastly, 3 - the gratitude of the recipient. note the order of importance here.
what if the dil really wanted slipcovers for her carseats? and the kids wanted some electronic game? what if she actually had to forgo buying fabric in order to give someone else the gift they really wanted? in other words, a gift of the heart. what then?
from that paragraph, the dil is not expressing herself well, but she knows that what she's getting IS unneeded castoffs. regardless of their beauty and/or value. that mil has put herself first. that is not a true gift.
shoot me at dawn.
If a person, no matter HOW talented, makes things, KNOWING the recipients don't enjoy them...then they are truly being selfish.
I would NEVER EVER give a gift with strings, and I don't borrow, and rarely lend...just bc I don't want the responsibility of other's stuff on me, and I don't want to lend, bc my kids, don't have the money to replace something if it gets broke.
That is something, hubby and I taught them as children...you borrow-you break-you replace. And now, that they are grown, we still feel that way. We had to scrimp and save to get what we have, so we take care of it...but i digress or bunnytrail...:)
If you call your mother-in-law, a monster-in-law, in front of your children...what do you think they are going to call her?
But, also, If you do things for ppl, with selfish motives...what do you deserve to be called?
These two rub each other and the husband sees it, but he should be quiet. You don't have to side with your wife, just don't live with her, and side AGAINST her...not smart :wink:
08-24-2009, 08:38 PM
#49
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Quilten CrazyI think you hit the nail on the head with that coment .a lot of people don't really got just what does go into making quiltsor anything that you make your self.because i do a lot of other sewing just because i either want something difrent or i can make it cheaper than i can buy it.an i like what i make better.
08-26-2009, 04:50 PM
#50
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Originally Posted by dizzy
Quilten CrazyI think you hit the nail on the head with that coment .a lot of people don't really got just what does go into making quiltsor anything that you make your self.because i do a lot of other sewing just because i either want something difrent or i can make it cheaper than i can buy it.an i like what i make better.
I thought this was such an interesting thread, and shows how many sides you can see in a situation. My MIL, passed last year, and she was a good person, and I was a good daughter in law. How do I know? I made it my business to be. I am also a good mother, and a good wife, and a good friend. I'd fall all over myself, fixing it, if somebody told me different, and I agreed :wink:
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