Am I a meanie?
#91
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I don't make quilts "On Demand". I make them for pleasure. Giving one as a gift has to come from my heart. Then it means something to me and the receiver. Don't feel bad. Tell her to buy a machine of her own and she can quilt as often as she wants.
#92
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Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Carlisle, PA
Posts: 1,964
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I totally agree. Last year I made a complete Disney character costume for a friend. I told her before we began choosing material and pattern the cost of my labor. She came to pick up her costume the night before her flight to WDW but 'forgot' her checkbook. She went off off to Disney, full costume in hand. When she came home, I was presented with a large Disney coffee mug. NO CHECK! I reminded her she still owes me the money for my labor. Acting so surprised she said.... "I can't afford that! I didn't know you wanted to be paid!! I thought you did it as a friend" Bull-patties! She was well aware - I will never make anything for anyone who asks me to - not ever again! It's not worth losing a friend over. l told her she could make payments to settle her debt - I'm still waiting!
#93
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Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: NY
Posts: 2,497
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Saying "No" gets easier the more you do it. You'll also feel less guilty the more you say "No." Before I was in nursing school I was a stay at home mom for many years. People expected A LOT of me. They were used to me always doing this or that for my children and family. Initially I felt very guilty for not attending parties or baking goodies. However, I got really good at saying "No" and felt better about it too. You will too. You spent all that money on a machine for you and to do what you want, not what others want you to do!!! Good luck, you will learn not to feel guilty and to not let others make you feel guilty. If nothing else, feel free to point out to them that it's NOT nice of them to try to make you feel guilty. It's very selfish of them actually. Tell them there are plenty others who will make that for them if they wish.
#94
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Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Sweet Home Alabama
Posts: 3,140
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I have been asked a couple times to make quilts for people. After doing a table runner for a lady I have decided I don't want to"have" to make something for someone. One lady said "you paid thousands of dollars for that machine
and you can't make me a baby quilt for my great grandaughter?" Should I feel so guilty for saying no?
and you can't make me a baby quilt for my great grandaughter?" Should I feel so guilty for saying no?
#95
Super Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 4,783
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Thanks everyone, for making me feel better about this! The funny thing is, this lady bakes pies for people and charges $14 a pie. Maybe we could trade; I could get pies for quilts! LOL! I don't know how she knew how much my machine was; when she asked about what kind of machine, I just told her an embroidery/sewing machine. I love making quilts, but don't want pressure. I do make them for family members, free of charge, filled with love! And I have given quilts to be auctioned for a scholarship fund. So I don't think I'm "too" stingy!
#97
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It's wasn't HER thousands you paid for the machine. Jeez - what nerve! I love to do quilts as a surprise, as I'm sure a lot of us do, but as soon as someone asks me ( and especially if someone was as rude as that GGM!), it really annoys me and I'm always "too busy" with other projects.
#98
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I already have a job. I don't want to ruin my creative outlet by turning it into more work. That doesn't mean that, if I get inspired, I won't make a friend a "surprise" later on.
I don't know about you, but I can feel guilty for taking up too much oxygen in the room. I try to recognize that undeserved guilt is inevitable and try not to act on it.
I don't know about you, but I can feel guilty for taking up too much oxygen in the room. I try to recognize that undeserved guilt is inevitable and try not to act on it.
#100
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I understand your point, but Christians don't have the monopoly on love!
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