Am I a meanie?
02-14-2013, 05:29 PM
#151
Junior Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Santa Rosa, CA
Posts: 117
You certainly are not mean because you don't want to do something like that. It has nothing to do with being mean. You don't owe that person anything, and if you do nto want to do a project, then you should not. If you do, ask that they pay for the pattern and fabrics; you might enjoy the work, but should not have to pay for the materials.
02-14-2013, 06:15 PM
#153
Junior Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: NC
Posts: 288
02-14-2013, 07:18 PM
#154
Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 714
Don't do it. Only do what you want. I used to make things for others and it ruins the fun of it. People don't realize how much time and effort it takes. I just try and tell people that to pay me what it is worth would surely be more than they would want or expect to pay.
02-14-2013, 09:54 PM
#155
Super Member
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Southern Idaho
Posts: 1,171
No, you are not a meanie. Life is too short to be obligated to others and the things they want you to do it for them. An example of this is, I make hand cream and a "friend" asked me to make a whole batch of hand cream for someone she knew. She told me she collected the money already. It takes about a morning to make a batch. Two things, first of all, it was not enough money since prices have gone up and I buy my ingredients on-line so there is S&H. After her asking several times, I sent her the recipe and where I bought my supplies. I have not heard about hand cream lately from her. 
Also, my New Year's resolution is learn to say no. I have two obligations that I promised last year, so that has to be done, but it is also a labor of love and I volunteered to do it.
I am 69 years of age and there are so many things I want to do for myself and my family to be obligated to do things for other people that they could do for themselves if they wanted it bad enough. Plus I still work at home for 2 different counties and my time is very limited to sewing.
Just hang in there. What you paid for your machine has nothing to do with her, nor is it any of her business. Just saying ............
Ellie
Also, my New Year's resolution is learn to say no. I have two obligations that I promised last year, so that has to be done, but it is also a labor of love and I volunteered to do it.
I am 69 years of age and there are so many things I want to do for myself and my family to be obligated to do things for other people that they could do for themselves if they wanted it bad enough. Plus I still work at home for 2 different counties and my time is very limited to sewing.
Just hang in there. What you paid for your machine has nothing to do with her, nor is it any of her business. Just saying ............
Ellie
02-14-2013, 10:02 PM
#156
Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Merritt Island, FL
Posts: 672
You "paid thousands of dollars" for a machine for your enjoyment NOT hers!
I have been asked a couple times to make quilts for people. After doing a table runner for a lady I have decided I don't want to"have" to make something for someone. One lady said "you paid thousands of dollars for that machine
and you can't make me a baby quilt for my great grandaughter?" Should I feel so guilty for saying no?
and you can't make me a baby quilt for my great grandaughter?" Should I feel so guilty for saying no?
02-15-2013, 12:01 AM
#158
Super Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Jozefow, Poland
Posts: 4,474
I've had a problem with people asking me to bake for them--pumpkin bread, cupcakes, chocolate cake, brownies, etc. It is irritating. I do have the time, but I don't want to. They can usually do it for themselves but just say they don't "know how". Come on...KIDS... in the states learn to bake--usually they can put together easy brownies by 12...--even without a mix.
02-15-2013, 12:09 AM
#159
Super Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Jozefow, Poland
Posts: 4,474
They would like me to think so, but it means I no longer have my own life nor my own choices to make. Someone told me once that if someone asks me for money, I am obligated to give it to them. I reject that philosophy--as it means if anyone asks me for anything--I'm supposed to say yes/give it to them. Bizarre, and really just wrong.
02-15-2013, 12:22 AM
#160
Super Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Jozefow, Poland
Posts: 4,474
Love all the responses and agree...no guilt...While feeling defensive for you and others my devil mind made me think of the barter system...only not pies... Seems like all those who ask should be willing to give something of themselves too.
Maybe she and others could:
Buy all the materials needed to make the quilt
Show up at your house to work hour for hour...had visions of the toothbrush and tile grout cleaner...windows and patio door glass, cleaning, polishing furniture and cabinets, raking leaves, cleaning flower beds... the list could be endless. If she doesn't show up...you don't sew..she'd already spent her money on materials...
BTW how slow can you sew?
Maybe she and others could:
Buy all the materials needed to make the quilt
Show up at your house to work hour for hour...had visions of the toothbrush and tile grout cleaner...windows and patio door glass, cleaning, polishing furniture and cabinets, raking leaves, cleaning flower beds... the list could be endless. If she doesn't show up...you don't sew..she'd already spent her money on materials...
BTW how slow can you sew?
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