Anyone else a "selfish" quilter?
12-23-2010, 02:40 AM
#131
Super Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Arizona
Posts: 7,850
Sunny, I feel just like you do because about 25 yrs age I made my oldest daughter a large guilt in a class I was taking. All machine quilted which was very difficult that long ago. She kept it for awhile and then was evicted from an apt and was on Meth for 5yrs. She has lost everything 3 times. This is why I feel this way. My name is on the quilts she lost ,however they probably threw them in a dumpster. This had made me gun shy. I put at least 100 hrs into making these quilts.
Originally Posted by sunnycat
I read on this board a lot about how many quilters never keep any of their quilts and give away everything they make.I have about a dozen projects planned for the future, and they're all for me! Part of the reason is that we moved into a 2000 sqf house two years ago and it's half empty. Walls call out for wall hangings, tables call out for runners, chairs crave quilts draped over their backs. Another part of the reason I'm such a selfish quilter is that I know exactly no one who would want anything homemade. In my husband's family, it's never occurred to anyone to do anything for themselves. They think it is so weird that I cook from scratch and knit and sew. Heck, they think it's weird that I clean my house instead of stacking all my stuff on the floor, letting it collect dust (hoarding tendencies run in the fam). My SIL cooks brownies out of a box and I'll have to hear her husband and my in-laws go on about how she's the homemaker and chef of the year. My family is more or less the same way. I told my mom I was going to make an apron and some placemats and she immediately ran out to buy me some "real" ones. Which is why we only give out gift cards or cash for Christmas anymore.
Am I alone in this? I won't ever be making a quilt for anyone but me.
Am I alone in this? I won't ever be making a quilt for anyone but me.
12-23-2010, 03:11 AM
#132
Super Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Mena, Arkansas
Posts: 1,351
Originally Posted by Tennessee Suzi
I can sympathize with you!! One year I made embroidered Christmas cards for family members and special friends. One DIL framed hers...it was a nativity scene. My mother framed hers and all the rest must have thrown them away. I never heard a word about them. This year I made some beautiful ones and donated them to our WMU auction at church for Lottie Moon. I'll be careful who I sew for from now on!
12-23-2010, 04:33 AM
#133
Super Member
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 6,764
Originally Posted by sunnycat
I read on this board a lot about how many quilters never keep any of their quilts and give away everything they make.I have about a dozen projects planned for the future, and they're all for me! Part of the reason is that we moved into a 2000 sqf house two years ago and it's half empty. Walls call out for wall hangings, tables call out for runners, chairs crave quilts draped over their backs. Another part of the reason I'm such a selfish quilter is that I know exactly no one who would want anything homemade. In my husband's family, it's never occurred to anyone to do anything for themselves. They think it is so weird that I cook from scratch and knit and sew. Heck, they think it's weird that I clean my house instead of stacking all my stuff on the floor, letting it collect dust (hoarding tendencies run in the fam). My SIL cooks brownies out of a box and I'll have to hear her husband and my in-laws go on about how she's the homemaker and chef of the year. My family is more or less the same way. I told my mom I was going to make an apron and some placemats and she immediately ran out to buy me some "real" ones. Which is why we only give out gift cards or cash for Christmas anymore.
Am I alone in this? I won't ever be making a quilt for anyone but me.
Am I alone in this? I won't ever be making a quilt for anyone but me.
She and her son are both recipients of my quilts and they were much appreciated. I just don't think she gets it. She's a great nurse, but when it comes to a stitching hobby, that's another story.
12-23-2010, 05:48 AM
#134
Banned
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Missouri
Posts: 2,020
I have very few things I have made. Some are hard to part with,butI cant use them all. We only have one bed in our home,hubby has a twin bed. I have to sleep in a recliner due to pain,so he has three twin sized and if I make any bigger they go bye bye. I tend to make a lot of small stuff just because of lack of space.Our home is really small.So most of what I make is for family friends,or sold.
12-23-2010, 06:02 AM
#135
Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Oklahoma
Posts: 522
my family is from "old school" i cook from scratch ,like you i sew, quilt , and i understand why you would want to keep everything you make i don't not understand people like yours , i come from a hugh family and all love my homemade items and at times fight over them , i say keep your quilts and enjoy because it sounds like if you gave them away they would not be enjoyed as they should.
12-23-2010, 06:06 AM
#136
Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: WV
Posts: 582
I think people used to look at it this way. If you made your own it was cause you were too poor to buy it. My mother called it "homemade" with a ring of distaste in her voice. We take pride in making it ourselves. Perhaps it has a lot to do with changes in culture, or just your family's way of doing things. I know when I got married (36 years ago yesterday) I thought my husband's family kind of strange. I soon came to realize they just did things differently from the way my family did. My own family came to be a mixture of both. My children appreciate my hand made gifts. All people don't. That's why I keep my gifts within my own little nest of loved ones.
12-23-2010, 06:39 AM
#137
Senior Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Newalla, Oklahoma
Posts: 632
Wow. I want to be more like you! I had a new friend visit my home recently and all I could show her were some table toppers and quilts in progress. I have a very bad habit of giving everything away! I have three quilts in progress right now and one is for my older sister, one for my younger son and the third is for my younger sister. I totally want to stop feeling guilty and KEEP some quilts! Two of my new quilts I have planned for 2011 are for me, only me and they WILL stay in my home! :?
12-23-2010, 07:39 AM
#138
Junior Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: San Luis Obispo, CA
Posts: 117
I went into my son's garage and found a beautiful crochet
table cloth strung over some boxes and it was made by my daughter in-laws grandmother.
The kids made them a tent. My Son' told me at least it was getting some use.
No your not being selfish and you are not alone in family not appreciating hand made gifts.
My daughter in-law is very appreciative of the table cloths I make her from cotton. But chrochet work is not there thing. SAD Have fun decorating your new home.
table cloth strung over some boxes and it was made by my daughter in-laws grandmother.
The kids made them a tent. My Son' told me at least it was getting some use.
No your not being selfish and you are not alone in family not appreciating hand made gifts.
My daughter in-law is very appreciative of the table cloths I make her from cotton. But chrochet work is not there thing. SAD Have fun decorating your new home.
12-23-2010, 07:46 AM
#139
Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Campton, Kentucky
Posts: 309
I love to give to people who will appreciate homemade items. However, there is only a couple in both side of our family that would appreciate a quilt. I made one for my Sister's small baby and she never even called to thank me. I ended up calling her and she said " Oh, yeah, it was pretty Thanks!" after 2 weeks of receiving it. I don't think so... I made a table runner for my "mil" and she just sorta tossed it aside and didn't even say thank you.... My Aunt and my step-son and my little boy are the only ones that I will make anything homemade for again. I have made scrapbooks and all sorts of homemade stuff and gave to family members and they are very unappreciative. That being said I have also decided to make stuff for those who appreciate the work going into a quilt and that would be my Husband and I...lol... I agree with whomever said it was very gratifying to a quilter to give a quilt that you have made but for me only if it is appreciated by the recipient..
12-23-2010, 08:53 AM
#140
Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Bushkill, Pa
Posts: 534
I see nothing wrong with what you're doing. You're creating a lovely environment for your own family. Nothing wrong with that or selfish.
Just as a suggestion, every now and then make a quilt for charity. There are quilts given to children in hospitals. My
thirteen-year-old granddaughter has just been diagnosed
with cancer, and while she was in the hospital getting all
kinds of tests, she was given a quilt. Check in your local
area where you can perhaps join a local guild who makes
charity quilts. A guild I belong to makes pillow cases for a
local nursing home. They are easy to make and don't take up
much time.
Just as a suggestion, every now and then make a quilt for charity. There are quilts given to children in hospitals. My
thirteen-year-old granddaughter has just been diagnosed
with cancer, and while she was in the hospital getting all
kinds of tests, she was given a quilt. Check in your local
area where you can perhaps join a local guild who makes
charity quilts. A guild I belong to makes pillow cases for a
local nursing home. They are easy to make and don't take up
much time.
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