Is this Cheating...
02-06-2011, 06:35 AM
#102
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 78
Originally Posted by Airwick156
I am doing binding on my quilt. There is enough of the backing fabric that I can just fold it over on all sides and hand sew it for the binding. My mother just called me and asked what I was doing and I told her that I was doing the binding on my quilt. And she proceeded to say "How are you doing it? You cheating and just folding it over or did you make real binding for it?" in just her normal mean voice she uses with me whenever she talks to me. I told her I just folded it over, no need to waste the fabric when its already there. And I can't afford to buy the extra fabric. So I use what I am able to use. I see no problem with this but she sure does and definitely makes me will aware of that fact.
When I make a quilt, I complete the whole thing before I go onto the next one. I do have a few quilt tops, mostly lap quilts that I have not gotten the backing on. Now she has probably a hundred if not more Tops that will never get done as she only likes to make the tops. But yet she complains and tells me how to do my quilts. Most of the time I can remind myself to just "rise above it" and "this too shall pass" attitude, but this time it seems to have really upset me. Because not only did she say that she also told me that I was wasting all my time making quilts since I don't have the money to get them machine quilted. I tie all of them, but one day, I am going to be able to get one machine quilted. I don't think I am wasting my time not at all. I enjoy making them even though I am not very good at it, but I am learning maybe slowly but I am learning. Okay...that said..."this too shall pass" finally kicked in and now I'm waiting for "Rise above it". Maybe if I fix me a cup of hot tea that will help. LOL :) Thanks for letting me vent.
When I make a quilt, I complete the whole thing before I go onto the next one. I do have a few quilt tops, mostly lap quilts that I have not gotten the backing on. Now she has probably a hundred if not more Tops that will never get done as she only likes to make the tops. But yet she complains and tells me how to do my quilts. Most of the time I can remind myself to just "rise above it" and "this too shall pass" attitude, but this time it seems to have really upset me. Because not only did she say that she also told me that I was wasting all my time making quilts since I don't have the money to get them machine quilted. I tie all of them, but one day, I am going to be able to get one machine quilted. I don't think I am wasting my time not at all. I enjoy making them even though I am not very good at it, but I am learning maybe slowly but I am learning. Okay...that said..."this too shall pass" finally kicked in and now I'm waiting for "Rise above it". Maybe if I fix me a cup of hot tea that will help. LOL :) Thanks for letting me vent.
02-06-2011, 06:35 AM
#103
Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: New Brunswick Canada
Posts: 540
I wish I had thought of doing a fold-over binding on my last quilt! I've never done one, then my daughter bought me the "Quilters Bible" for Christmas and it gave the how-to. Unfortunately I'd already trimmed the edges too short by then. Next time!! Don't let your Momma get you down... chances are her mother was just as rigid in her thinking. Let change start with you! :) God bless!
02-06-2011, 06:42 AM
#104
Junior Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Duncan, AZ
Posts: 116
That's not cheating. That is just one of the ways to finish a quilt. At least you are finishing the quilt. Yep. Maybe a nice cup of tea (or two). And yes "this too shall pass". Mothers will be mothers. LOL
02-06-2011, 06:44 AM
#105
Banned
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Houston, TX
Posts: 7,286
That is a perfectly acceptable way to bind a quilt that is shown in many quilting how-to books. I agree with the one person. No matter what you have to scrimp in, I would invest in an answering machine with caller ID so you can tell when she is calling and not answer. When you have a "Toxic Mother" (my counselor's title, not mine) it is best to just avoid and ignore. Good luck, and don't let the nasty get to you.
02-06-2011, 06:46 AM
#106
Super Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 1,152
Dear Airwick
I'm not shocked that your mother is acting toward you the way she is. After all, she is a mother and that's what mother's are for is to guide their children whether male or female. I do believe your mother takes this responsibility a bit too far. You are out on your own now and should expect respect from your mother rather than a put down when you tell her something. Please, take the advise of on 82 year old mother who has been there. I, too, was eager to help my grown children, Not harping and complaining as your mother does, but just handing out unsolicited advice. My oldest son woke me up to the fact that grown children have the right to make their own mistakes and pay for them. I also learned that children appreciate a mother's love more if a small compliment, a smile and a hug is given now and again. The best thing you can do is attempt to ignore her complaints. In the interim try to find a way to kindly tell her to "butt out". If nothing else, tell her "To let go and let God direct your life."
I'm not shocked that your mother is acting toward you the way she is. After all, she is a mother and that's what mother's are for is to guide their children whether male or female. I do believe your mother takes this responsibility a bit too far. You are out on your own now and should expect respect from your mother rather than a put down when you tell her something. Please, take the advise of on 82 year old mother who has been there. I, too, was eager to help my grown children, Not harping and complaining as your mother does, but just handing out unsolicited advice. My oldest son woke me up to the fact that grown children have the right to make their own mistakes and pay for them. I also learned that children appreciate a mother's love more if a small compliment, a smile and a hug is given now and again. The best thing you can do is attempt to ignore her complaints. In the interim try to find a way to kindly tell her to "butt out". If nothing else, tell her "To let go and let God direct your life."
02-06-2011, 06:53 AM
#107
Super Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: porter ok
Posts: 1,310
"I don't think I am wasting my time not at all. I enjoy making them". This quote from your note says it all . Hang in there I know how you are feeling My Mother is the same way. As long as it makes YOU HAPPY then live will work out any problem. I have tied quilts for many years and think they are beautiful . Some machine quilted ones never get Loved or worn thin. Lots HUGS l :thumbup:
02-06-2011, 06:56 AM
#108
Super Member
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Antlers Oklahoma
Posts: 1,658
no way is it cheating, that is the way it was done,the sew on method is the new fangled way .lol. Ant tying the quilt makes it the warmest hug ever. the closer it is quilted the less warmth. Just so you can tell her, Next time ask her if she would like for you to finish one of hers for her. Bet she will take you up on it.
02-06-2011, 06:59 AM
#109
Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Chatham Virginia
Posts: 351
I have a friend whose mother is 86 and she has been quilting most of her life. She hand quilts beautiful feathers and all those georgous other designs. She ALSO turns her fabric from the back to the front to bind the quilt! This is a time honored tradition! So your mother is WRONG! Wrong! wrong!
I bet your quilt is beautiful. Show us a picture please.
I bet your quilt is beautiful. Show us a picture please.
02-06-2011, 07:01 AM
#110
Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Seymour, Missouri
Posts: 421
There is no such thing as cheating at this. It is your quilt, you do it how you want. It is for your joy and noone elses. Don't let ANYONE ruin your passion and pleasure. Even Moms can be Meanies. Luckily, I got a good one.
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