Is this Cheating...
02-05-2011, 05:31 PM
#42
Junior Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: North Olmsted, OH
Posts: 144
Maybe you could ask her to pay the long arm quilter bill. That should wake her up!
If we all did things the same way all the time, there would only be one kind of quilt and they would all look exactly alike. How boring that would be ! ! !
If we all did things the same way all the time, there would only be one kind of quilt and they would all look exactly alike. How boring that would be ! ! !
02-05-2011, 05:38 PM
#43
Super Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Kentucky
Posts: 1,522
Originally Posted by Jan in VA
Critical people are angry people. and angry people are scared people.
Scared she can't do it at all.
Scared she didn't teach you well enough (in anything).
Scared of criticism that it isn't "right" so she doesn't do it at all (such as finish her own quilts).
Scared if she doesn't criticize first she'll be criticized (for something she's done that she perceives is not good enough).
Scared people need reassurance that they are in the presence of people who are quite confident/comfortable with what the scared person fears.....they need to see that *someone* isn't scared like they are. Be that person for your mother, maybe she'll eventually be able to relax and accept that you know exactly what you're doing. Or are at least compleely comfortable with how whatever is working out.
Her comments are way more an indication of how she's feeling than how you're doing!
Jan in VA
Scared she can't do it at all.
Scared she didn't teach you well enough (in anything).
Scared of criticism that it isn't "right" so she doesn't do it at all (such as finish her own quilts).
Scared if she doesn't criticize first she'll be criticized (for something she's done that she perceives is not good enough).
Scared people need reassurance that they are in the presence of people who are quite confident/comfortable with what the scared person fears.....they need to see that *someone* isn't scared like they are. Be that person for your mother, maybe she'll eventually be able to relax and accept that you know exactly what you're doing. Or are at least compleely comfortable with how whatever is working out.
Her comments are way more an indication of how she's feeling than how you're doing!
Jan in VA
You hang in there girl!
02-05-2011, 05:42 PM
#44
Super Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: SW Minnesota
Posts: 1,120
Originally Posted by Airwick156
I am doing binding on my quilt. There is enough of the backing fabric that I can just fold it over on all sides and hand sew it for the binding. My mother just called me and asked what I was doing and I told her that I was doing the binding on my quilt. And she proceeded to say "How are you doing it? You cheating and just folding it over or did you make real binding for it?" in just her normal mean voice she uses with me whenever she talks to me. I told her I just folded it over, no need to waste the fabric when its already there. And I can't afford to buy the extra fabric. So I use what I am able to use. I see no problem with this but she sure does and definitely makes me will aware of that fact.
When I make a quilt, I complete the whole thing before I go onto the next one. I do have a few quilt tops, mostly lap quilts that I have not gotten the backing on. Now she has probably a hundred if not more Tops that will never get done as she only likes to make the tops. But yet she complains and tells me how to do my quilts. Most of the time I can remind myself to just "rise above it" and "this too shall pass" attitude, but this time it seems to have really upset me. Because not only did she say that she also told me that I was wasting all my time making quilts since I don't have the money to get them machine quilted. I tie all of them, but one day, I am going to be able to get one machine quilted. I don't think I am wasting my time not at all. I enjoy making them even though I am not very good at it, but I am learning maybe slowly but I am learning. Okay...that said..."this too shall pass" finally kicked in and now I'm waiting for "Rise above it". Maybe if I fix me a cup of hot tea that will help. LOL :) Thanks for letting me vent.
When I make a quilt, I complete the whole thing before I go onto the next one. I do have a few quilt tops, mostly lap quilts that I have not gotten the backing on. Now she has probably a hundred if not more Tops that will never get done as she only likes to make the tops. But yet she complains and tells me how to do my quilts. Most of the time I can remind myself to just "rise above it" and "this too shall pass" attitude, but this time it seems to have really upset me. Because not only did she say that she also told me that I was wasting all my time making quilts since I don't have the money to get them machine quilted. I tie all of them, but one day, I am going to be able to get one machine quilted. I don't think I am wasting my time not at all. I enjoy making them even though I am not very good at it, but I am learning maybe slowly but I am learning. Okay...that said..."this too shall pass" finally kicked in and now I'm waiting for "Rise above it". Maybe if I fix me a cup of hot tea that will help. LOL :) Thanks for letting me vent.
02-05-2011, 05:44 PM
#45
Super Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: SW Minnesota
Posts: 1,120
Originally Posted by Airwick156
I am doing binding on my quilt. There is enough of the backing fabric that I can just fold it over on all sides and hand sew it for the binding. My mother just called me and asked what I was doing and I told her that I was doing the binding on my quilt. And she proceeded to say "How are you doing it? You cheating and just folding it over or did you make real binding for it?" in just her normal mean voice she uses with me whenever she talks to me. I told her I just folded it over, no need to waste the fabric when its already there. And I can't afford to buy the extra fabric. So I use what I am able to use. I see no problem with this but she sure does and definitely makes me will aware of that fact.
When I make a quilt, I complete the whole thing before I go onto the next one. I do have a few quilt tops, mostly lap quilts that I have not gotten the backing on. Now she has probably a hundred if not more Tops that will never get done as she only likes to make the tops. But yet she complains and tells me how to do my quilts. Most of the time I can remind myself to just "rise above it" and "this too shall pass" attitude, but this time it seems to have really upset me. Because not only did she say that she also told me that I was wasting all my time making quilts since I don't have the money to get them machine quilted. I tie all of them, but one day, I am going to be able to get one machine quilted. I don't think I am wasting my time not at all. I enjoy making them even though I am not very good at it, but I am learning maybe slowly but I am learning. Okay...that said..."this too shall pass" finally kicked in and now I'm waiting for "Rise above it". Maybe if I fix me a cup of hot tea that will help. LOL :) Thanks for letting me vent.
When I make a quilt, I complete the whole thing before I go onto the next one. I do have a few quilt tops, mostly lap quilts that I have not gotten the backing on. Now she has probably a hundred if not more Tops that will never get done as she only likes to make the tops. But yet she complains and tells me how to do my quilts. Most of the time I can remind myself to just "rise above it" and "this too shall pass" attitude, but this time it seems to have really upset me. Because not only did she say that she also told me that I was wasting all my time making quilts since I don't have the money to get them machine quilted. I tie all of them, but one day, I am going to be able to get one machine quilted. I don't think I am wasting my time not at all. I enjoy making them even though I am not very good at it, but I am learning maybe slowly but I am learning. Okay...that said..."this too shall pass" finally kicked in and now I'm waiting for "Rise above it". Maybe if I fix me a cup of hot tea that will help. LOL :) Thanks for letting me vent.
Maybe you need a glass of wine instead of a cup of tea!! I understand some of your frustration. When I am with my mother, my nerves get frazzled because for everything, it is her way or it is not right--and it gets me crazy!.
02-05-2011, 06:05 PM
#48
Super Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Colorado
Posts: 1,388
I just pillowcased a small quilt. I have only done that once before, but after doing two bindings last week, I just didn't feel like sitting down and hand-stitching a binding. A few weeks ago, I did what you're doing and turned the backing over onto the front and stitched it down. It wasn't perfect, but I didn't care. I think whatever works for you, do it.
My mom gives me grief every time I give away a quilt. I get the "when am I going to get one" speech. It gets old. She is an artist and can turn out a painting in a few hours, so I have five or six of her oils in my house. She just doesn't get that making a quilt is MUCH more time consuming and expensive! I make mostly baby quilts and doll quilts because I just don't make the time to commit to larger projects. Not only that, she is very critical of my color choices (since she is a professional artist.) It drives me up a tree... which is probably why she doesn't own one of my quilts.
I sympathize with you. I really do.
My mom gives me grief every time I give away a quilt. I get the "when am I going to get one" speech. It gets old. She is an artist and can turn out a painting in a few hours, so I have five or six of her oils in my house. She just doesn't get that making a quilt is MUCH more time consuming and expensive! I make mostly baby quilts and doll quilts because I just don't make the time to commit to larger projects. Not only that, she is very critical of my color choices (since she is a professional artist.) It drives me up a tree... which is probably why she doesn't own one of my quilts.
I sympathize with you. I really do.
02-05-2011, 07:02 PM
#49
Super Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Grants Pass, Oregon
Posts: 3,360
Originally Posted by ConcreteSher
OMG--you've broken a quilting RULE?? Off to quilter's prison with you! Perhaps you could remind your mother that your quilts are your creations and you will darn well make them any way you like! The enjoyment of the hobby comes from the creative process, and once you start imposing too many rules on that process you suck the life right out of it. Are you happy with your quilts? Are the recipients?
Or, perhaps you could tell your mother that she's right, that you're going to give up quilting until you can afford to do it right . . . but that you're seriously considering becoming a stripper because not only is it a beautiful "art form" with no rules, but also so you can earn money to conform to hers!
Or, perhaps you could tell your mother that she's right, that you're going to give up quilting until you can afford to do it right . . . but that you're seriously considering becoming a stripper because not only is it a beautiful "art form" with no rules, but also so you can earn money to conform to hers!
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