Does anyone's husband/wife complain about your buying fabric?
01-26-2010, 02:03 PM
#131
Senior Member
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: South Chesterfield, Virginia
Posts: 725
Originally Posted by JanetM
Originally Posted by sylvia77
My husband complains if I want to spend money on fabric, if it's only $5.00! I have to sneak it in so he doesn't get mad. Does anyone else have this problem?
I am sorry when I hear other woman saying they have to ask permission in order to spend money. It doesn't matter who earns the paycheck. In a marriage you are a team.
I think both parties have to understand their budget, but perhaps the two of you could determine the amount of money each of you could spend monthly without having to account for each penny. After bills are paid, and groceries are bought, it might only be $10 or $20 for each of you. The point is, that each of you should be able to spend a little money however you see fit, without having to justify to the other how your spent your share.
My husband and I don't have a set amount for ourselves but neither of us overspend and neither of us would make a large purchase without discussing it first.
it just seems to me that you are both adults and asking permission seems like a parent/child situation. Your husband may not "get" your need for fabric, and I'll bet there might be something he likes that doesn't make sense to you. I hope you two can have a conversation about this and come up with a manageable solution. Then if you want to buy fabric, and he wants to spend his money on ??? both of you will be happy.
I posted some thing very similar to your thoughts...
It hurts to read. It hurts to comment too harshly, because we have no ideas what else is going on and we have no ideas if we are speaking to someone in an abusive / destructive relationship
It hurts because here we are, encouraging them to stick up for themselves when really we maybe we should be saying run for your life, ...and how do you know the difference, on line, over the internet?
(I am NOT saying anyone here is in this situation.....please, don't read into this things that are not there.)
01-26-2010, 02:59 PM
#133
Super Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: At my LQS
Posts: 2,326
Originally Posted by aliaslaceygreen
Originally Posted by JanetM
Originally Posted by sylvia77
My husband complains if I want to spend money on fabric, if it's only $5.00! I have to sneak it in so he doesn't get mad. Does anyone else have this problem?
I am sorry when I hear other woman saying they have to ask permission in order to spend money. It doesn't matter who earns the paycheck. In a marriage you are a team.
I think both parties have to understand their budget, but perhaps the two of you could determine the amount of money each of you could spend monthly without having to account for each penny. After bills are paid, and groceries are bought, it might only be $10 or $20 for each of you. The point is, that each of you should be able to spend a little money however you see fit, without having to justify to the other how your spent your share.
My husband and I don't have a set amount for ourselves but neither of us overspend and neither of us would make a large purchase without discussing it first.
it just seems to me that you are both adults and asking permission seems like a parent/child situation. Your husband may not "get" your need for fabric, and I'll bet there might be something he likes that doesn't make sense to you. I hope you two can have a conversation about this and come up with a manageable solution. Then if you want to buy fabric, and he wants to spend his money on ??? both of you will be happy.
I posted some thing very similar to your thoughts...
It hurts to read. It hurts to comment too harshly, because we have no ideas what else is going on and we have no ideas if we are speaking to someone in an abusive / destructive relationship
It hurts because here we are, encouraging them to stick up for themselves when really we maybe we should be saying run for your life, ...and how do you know the difference, on line, over the internet?
(I am NOT saying anyone here is in this situation.....please, don't read into this things that are not there.)
I don't know her situation. All I was hoping to do is to encourage her to talk with her husbnd about this situation in the hopes that they could reach some agreement about this money issue.
I ws distressed to hear that $5.00 spent on fabric causes trouble and she feels the need to sneak in fabric to avoid making him mad.
It may be naive of me to think that talking with him might smooth things out. I don't know her situation. I just want the best for her.
01-26-2010, 03:02 PM
#134
Super Member
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Idaho Falls
Posts: 1,907
Originally Posted by sylvia77
My husband complains if I want to spend money on fabric, if it's only $5.00! I have to sneak it in so he doesn't get mad. Does anyone else have this problem?
01-26-2010, 03:03 PM
#135
Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: mid tennessee
Posts: 489
that's right, get a life mister!!!! My hubby and son dirt bike ride, airsoft, all kinds of hobbies. He knows better to say one little peep about fabric to me, he is catching on, it used to be if he said anything I would buy double. Yep, that's right DOUBLE!!!! I work hard around this house taking care of everything and feeding them, I figure I deserve some beauty in my life, so fabric is it, along with some clothes, pedicures, shoes and what ever else makes me happy.
01-26-2010, 03:13 PM
#136
Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: mid tennessee
Posts: 489
my hubby just read my reply and is laughing hysterically, he really doesn't say anything, his mom is a quilter and he would never survive her wrath if he gives me a hard time. She is the queen of buying fabric.
01-26-2010, 03:15 PM
#137
Super Member
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Spring Lake, NJ
Posts: 2,458
Luckily at time time,
we are both retired and it is just the two of us on whom we have to spend........so why not spend it on something that makes me happy....and
when mama's happy, papa's happy
He encourages me to buy what I need, even though I might not need it at present...I might in the near future.....
You younger quilters........there was a time where we really had to watch our pennies and I used a lot of fabric from here and there.......your time will come !!
MaryJane
we are both retired and it is just the two of us on whom we have to spend........so why not spend it on something that makes me happy....and
when mama's happy, papa's happy
He encourages me to buy what I need, even though I might not need it at present...I might in the near future.....
You younger quilters........there was a time where we really had to watch our pennies and I used a lot of fabric from here and there.......your time will come !!
MaryJane
01-26-2010, 03:19 PM
#139
Senior Member
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: South Chesterfield, Virginia
Posts: 725
Originally Posted by JanetM
Originally Posted by aliaslaceygreen
Originally Posted by JanetM
Originally Posted by sylvia77
My husband complains if I want to spend money on fabric, if it's only $5.00! I have to sneak it in so he doesn't get mad. Does anyone else have this problem?
I am sorry when I hear other woman saying they have to ask permission in order to spend money. It doesn't matter who earns the paycheck. In a marriage you are a team.
I think both parties have to understand their budget, but perhaps the two of you could determine the amount of money each of you could spend monthly without having to account for each penny. After bills are paid, and groceries are bought, it might only be $10 or $20 for each of you. The point is, that each of you should be able to spend a little money however you see fit, without having to justify to the other how your spent your share.
My husband and I don't have a set amount for ourselves but neither of us overspend and neither of us would make a large purchase without discussing it first.
it just seems to me that you are both adults and asking permission seems like a parent/child situation. Your husband may not "get" your need for fabric, and I'll bet there might be something he likes that doesn't make sense to you. I hope you two can have a conversation about this and come up with a manageable solution. Then if you want to buy fabric, and he wants to spend his money on ??? both of you will be happy.
I posted some thing very similar to your thoughts...
It hurts to read. It hurts to comment too harshly, because we have no ideas what else is going on and we have no ideas if we are speaking to someone in an abusive / destructive relationship
It hurts because here we are, encouraging them to stick up for themselves when really we maybe we should be saying run for your life, ...and how do you know the difference, on line, over the internet?
(I am NOT saying anyone here is in this situation.....please, don't read into this things that are not there.)
I don't know her situation. All I was hoping to do is to encourage her to talk with her husbnd about this situation in the hopes that they could reach some agreement about this money issue.
I ws distressed to hear that $5.00 spent on fabric causes trouble and she feels the need to sneak in fabric to avoid making him mad.
It may be naive of me to think that talking with him might smooth things out. I don't know her situation. I just want the best for her.
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