Fabric Will
08-15-2011, 02:26 PM
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Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Iowa transplant to Va
Posts: 1,613
Got this from a email and thought some of you might get a kick out of it... lol... Kind of makes me wonder who would get my so called stash...lol..
FABRIC WILL
Being of sound mind and body (a statement that does not bear close scrutiny) I ______________
do hereby record my last will and testament.
Knowing that __________, my ____________________ (husband, sister, daughter) has no
appreciation, or for that matter knowledge of my extensive fabric collection, which by the way is
deposited in various places throughout my house for safekeeping. Knowing also that _________
has also notified the goodwill store should I precede him or her to that great quilt shop in the sky,
to pick up and dispose of the aforementioned collection. Therefore I do WILL this collection
and all other collections related to it, to my dear fellow fabric preservationist ______________.
It is my wish that she, upon hearing of my death and obtaining clear proof of that I did not
manage (although goodness knows I tried) to take it with me, will come to my home, before the
goodwill store searches out my collection. That she should rescue the said collection and stack it
in my quilting studio, along with my sewing machines, frames, old buttons, lace, patterns, quilts,
dolls and works in progress. And after she has done that, she should purchase refreshments for
all my friends, not yet departed, which friends are also her friends. Every last one shall be in that
room and they shall hold a wake and say lots of lovely and kind things about me until they run
out and then they shall divide amongst themselves my wonderful collection. Be forewarned! I
shall be hovering over that very spot until this is done. They shall then leave this spot and close
the door, leaving the car, house, stocks, bonds and other worldly nonsense to those who don't
understand or know any better.
This is my wish on the matter.
Signed: _____________________
FABRIC WILL
Being of sound mind and body (a statement that does not bear close scrutiny) I ______________
do hereby record my last will and testament.
Knowing that __________, my ____________________ (husband, sister, daughter) has no
appreciation, or for that matter knowledge of my extensive fabric collection, which by the way is
deposited in various places throughout my house for safekeeping. Knowing also that _________
has also notified the goodwill store should I precede him or her to that great quilt shop in the sky,
to pick up and dispose of the aforementioned collection. Therefore I do WILL this collection
and all other collections related to it, to my dear fellow fabric preservationist ______________.
It is my wish that she, upon hearing of my death and obtaining clear proof of that I did not
manage (although goodness knows I tried) to take it with me, will come to my home, before the
goodwill store searches out my collection. That she should rescue the said collection and stack it
in my quilting studio, along with my sewing machines, frames, old buttons, lace, patterns, quilts,
dolls and works in progress. And after she has done that, she should purchase refreshments for
all my friends, not yet departed, which friends are also her friends. Every last one shall be in that
room and they shall hold a wake and say lots of lovely and kind things about me until they run
out and then they shall divide amongst themselves my wonderful collection. Be forewarned! I
shall be hovering over that very spot until this is done. They shall then leave this spot and close
the door, leaving the car, house, stocks, bonds and other worldly nonsense to those who don't
understand or know any better.
This is my wish on the matter.
Signed: _____________________
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