False Praise

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04-26-2011, 04:15 PM

#161

teacherbailey

Super Member

Join Date: Feb 2010

Location: Tucker, GA

Posts: 2,042

I think that we experienced quilters have the responsibility to be ENcouraging of new quilters. We need to tell them what we would have wanted to hear about our first quilt, or top, or paperpieced block, or whatever. And if it's truly horrible and we can't even like the color or the choice of block or whatever-----then we have the responsibility not to DIScourage.

04-26-2011, 04:44 PM

#162

jpthequilter

Super Member

Join Date: Jan 2011

Location: Port Lavaca, TX

Posts: 1,276

Quote:

Originally Posted by moreland

Quote:

Originally Posted by kathy

if i just HAVE to say something that might be taken as critisizm i do it by pm, that way NOBODY else hears me so it should not be embarrassing, if they tell me to take hike, nobody knows! and the board is still at peace

I like to do it that way also. But often I see "constructive criticisms" given in a very kind way and I think that really does help people. I also agree with one of the posters--we really don't have to comment. Although if you are made like me, keeping quiet is sometimes a challenge. :) :)

Me too! Jeannie

04-26-2011, 04:50 PM

#163

jpthequilter

Super Member

Join Date: Jan 2011

Location: Port Lavaca, TX

Posts: 1,276

Quote:

Originally Posted by jshorty

I've just started quilted a few months ago & I know my quilts are not perfect and maybe my color choices are not the best. When I ask someone what they think of my quilt I want to know their honest opinion. I need to know what I'm doing wrong or what other color choices whould of been better. How else am I going to learn the correct way or good color choices

You are so right! Kindly given help can be nice and useful.

04-26-2011, 04:53 PM

#164

JJean

Super Member

Join Date: Aug 2009

Location: Washington State

Posts: 2,587

I try to think about my words: Are they true? Are they necessary? Are they kind?

I love the people on this board. They have been so encouraging to me even when my work was not good. I particularly remember going to a quilting group meeting and the criticism stung. I guess I'm saying thanks for not telling me what I already knew!

04-26-2011, 04:56 PM

#165

jpthequilter

Super Member

Join Date: Jan 2011

Location: Port Lavaca, TX

Posts: 1,276

Quote:

Originally Posted by clhornak

I just joined today. I have not made a quilt yet. When I finally get one done; I will post. Please be kind but most definitely HONEST. I need all the help I can get. Love this board. I have been lurking and you are all so helpful!

Please do us all a favor....sew 4 squares together or make a ninepatch...and sew a border ....
We want to encourage you, luv!
J

04-26-2011, 04:59 PM

#166

Tamara

Junior Member

Join Date: Jan 2011

Location: Southwest Virginia

Posts: 250

I'm like you if I can't fine anything good to say I don't say anything.
Also I know I have a lot to learn since I've only been making quilts for 6 months now, so I want everyone to let me know what they ready think so I can learn...

Quote:

Originally Posted by hobo2000

If I can't find something to compliment, I don't say anything.

04-26-2011, 06:03 PM

#167

Jingle

Power Poster

Join Date: Dec 2009

Location: Outside St. Louis

Posts: 38,224

I have made more quilts than most on here and I am still trying to make my first perfect quilt. I still hope to, doubt that is ever going to happen.
I would never ask for a honest opinion as there are some mean spirited people only waiting for a chance to share them.
I like my choices for patterns and colors for my quilts and would not appreciate opinions.
Hurting someone's feelings would not make me very happy. I figure they did the best they could do at that time.

04-26-2011, 06:17 PM

#168

IrelandDragonQuilting

Super Member

Join Date: Jan 2011

Location: Limbo

Posts: 1,953

When I become perfect (yea right!) I will judge other's work. Until then, if they like it, and it is not my personal preference, then I like it for them! We are our own worse critics and we judge ourselves harshly. If someone wants help or wants opinions they usually will ask for them. Usually if they do not they are proud of their work and wish to share their accomplishments with us! I am honored by that, and will always find something nice to say, or a bit of encouragement.

04-26-2011, 06:23 PM

#169

pnptrapp

Senior Member

Join Date: Feb 2011

Location: Sorento, IL

Posts: 364

If you really want an honest opinion ask my DH! We've taken to saying "I really want your opinion," or "Honey just be excited for me when I tell you this."

I agree that false praise can hurt someone by allowing them to think they've mastered something that still needs work, BUT I also believe that most quilters are their own worst critics and that most of us are way more critical of our work then any one else can be!

04-26-2011, 06:35 PM

#170

quiltjoey

Super Member

Join Date: Sep 2010

Location: SC

Posts: 2,027

Quote:

Originally Posted by Krystyna

As a relatively new quilter, I was hesitant to post a photo of the last quilt I made simply because I felt inadequate compared to those who are so incredibly talented here. My quilt wasn't perfect by any stretch of the imagination, but it was something I made with love for someone I love. Even though I'm thick-skinned to a degree, if I had been slammed, it would have hurt and I would have thought twice about participating again. Not every quilt is going to be worthy of a professional class quilt show, but the fact that the individual made a quilt and took the time to share it here is worthy of a nice compliment or encouraging word. Kindness grows more kindness and I've seen so much of that on this wonderful board.

Krystyn: I fall into the category you are referring to. I am learning all the time from the board and I know I will never be as proficient as others but was so excited and scared when I posted my first quilting project, a wall hanging. Everyone was so kind and encouraging. I know it wasn't "show" or "museum" quality, but I was proud of it anyway. Thanks for all the kindness of those on this board...