False Praise
04-25-2011, 08:49 AM
#31
Super Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: desert area of California
Posts: 2,206
Different strokes for different folks....not everyone likes the same things. That which may not be so great to one person maybe great to another. Beauty is in the eye of the be holder.
If there is a major area that could use extra help then, if asked, point it out with kindness.
If it envolves color choices, perhaps those colors are the makers delight even if not your.
There are a few of us who may need a little help at one time or another but everyone can use a pat on the back now and then.
If there is a major area that could use extra help then, if asked, point it out with kindness.
If it envolves color choices, perhaps those colors are the makers delight even if not your.
There are a few of us who may need a little help at one time or another but everyone can use a pat on the back now and then.
04-25-2011, 08:51 AM
#32
Super Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Yakima, WA
Posts: 2,439
I've been stunned to silence a couple of times by a really bad job on something so instead of focusing on the project, I redirect my focus to the person and ask them if they had fun doing it, would they do it again, was it frustrating.
I mean, if they are standing there smiling, I don't want to just ignore them after looking at their project.
I mean, if they are standing there smiling, I don't want to just ignore them after looking at their project.
04-25-2011, 09:12 AM
#34
Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 493
This is a very interesting thread and I liked all comments and can see all sides of the issue. As a teacher of young children, I always pointed out what they did correctly, NOT what they did wrong. That way they can build on the good. That being said, I also think it is wrong to praise for shoddy work - how will we ever learn? maybe showing how we can make it "even better" puts a more positive spin on a gentle critique.
04-25-2011, 09:15 AM
#35
Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Nevada
Posts: 650
The loving kindness and encouragement is what I love most about this board. I know that there have been times when I have seen quilts or whatever posted here that were not great, but you were all so nice to the person anyway. I think we can all tell when it is false praise though. I follow the same rule as most everyone here about saying something nice or nothing at all. But that is not to say I only post if I love the creation. I simply do not have time to post on every single thread.
I am amazed and sometimes overwhelmed by the talent and creativity on this board. Who knew that there was such a great bunch of fantastic quilters that were also the kindest and most helpful people as well? I find it so refreshing. There is so much negativity on the internet, as well as an awful lot of bullying so it is nice to have a safe place to come and see that not everyone is like that.
I am amazed and sometimes overwhelmed by the talent and creativity on this board. Who knew that there was such a great bunch of fantastic quilters that were also the kindest and most helpful people as well? I find it so refreshing. There is so much negativity on the internet, as well as an awful lot of bullying so it is nice to have a safe place to come and see that not everyone is like that.
04-25-2011, 09:19 AM
#36
Super Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Jozefow, Poland
Posts: 4,474
Originally Posted by cheryl222
This is a very interesting thread and I liked all comments and can see all sides of the issue. As a teacher of young children, I always pointed out what they did correctly, NOT what they did wrong. That way they can build on the good. That being said, I also think it is wrong to praise for shoddy work - how will we ever learn? maybe showing how we can make it "even better" puts a more positive spin on a gentle critique.
I was always taught never to ask my child, after drawing an unknown picture and holding it up proudly for me to admire, not to say, "What is it?" But instead to say, "Tell me about it". You are asking the same thing, but in a different way.
Mostly I just don't say anything if I don't like the quilt. But, sometimes, as one lady pointed out, if there is a twisted block (I would want to know), then it is okay to mention it because they probably want to turn it around before finishing the quilt. But otherwise, it is either nothing, or commenting on the colors, the pattern, the style, the thought behind it, etc. After all, we can't really see too much with most of the pictures--not really up close and personal like you can in person.
I do appreciate the "positiveness" of the posters here. Thanks!
04-25-2011, 09:24 AM
#37
Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Oklahoma
Posts: 342
Originally Posted by DogHouseMom
I agree to a point, when I post something and ask for comments, I truely want honest opinions which includes constructive criticizm. Some advice I'll take, some I'll ignore - according to my desires and beliefs - but all constructive criticizm is appreciated even if not used.
A member (an experiencd quilter) posted several blocks the other day, the blocks had yet been joined together. She was looking for comments on the best layout. While she didn't specifically ask for constructive criticizm of the individual blocks *I* had noticed that some of the pieces in one block were flipped. Had it been my block I would have appreciated it being pointed out because that juncture it was easy to fix - so I did point it out to her, as did one or two other members. These things (brain fart mistakes) I think are appreciated when pointed out even if unsolicited. I would not however point out the same error on a quilt that was already quilted - why raise the dead?
When I see a pic of a first quilt or block by a new quilter, and their post starts with something like 'yippee - look what I did!' ... the block could be totally wonky but I wouldn't dare say a word. At that point of "oh my God I actually sewed a bunch of pieces together" - let them have that glory. I would prefer to see them retain that excitement and passion over the possibility of dashing it by saying it isn't right (which may make them think quilting is just too hard!). If they decide they love quilting they'll be seeing more quilts, the more they see the more they'll see the differences, and hopefully the more they will learn.
A member (an experiencd quilter) posted several blocks the other day, the blocks had yet been joined together. She was looking for comments on the best layout. While she didn't specifically ask for constructive criticizm of the individual blocks *I* had noticed that some of the pieces in one block were flipped. Had it been my block I would have appreciated it being pointed out because that juncture it was easy to fix - so I did point it out to her, as did one or two other members. These things (brain fart mistakes) I think are appreciated when pointed out even if unsolicited. I would not however point out the same error on a quilt that was already quilted - why raise the dead?
When I see a pic of a first quilt or block by a new quilter, and their post starts with something like 'yippee - look what I did!' ... the block could be totally wonky but I wouldn't dare say a word. At that point of "oh my God I actually sewed a bunch of pieces together" - let them have that glory. I would prefer to see them retain that excitement and passion over the possibility of dashing it by saying it isn't right (which may make them think quilting is just too hard!). If they decide they love quilting they'll be seeing more quilts, the more they see the more they'll see the differences, and hopefully the more they will learn.
I have learned to cut myself some slack after seeing some of the quilts my quilter, (been published four times in the last two years that I know of, in magazines like Quilts & More) has done close up. Not every seam is perfectly matched up. I was quite surprised and relieved. Also, I have grown not only in skills, still much to learn, but in appreciation of design and colors. This does go back to the eye of the beholder. There are quilts I see that don't appeal to me at all, and then i remember that what I like now I didn't necessarily like before. Even if I don't like the whole quilt I can pick out something I do like about it. I love to look at the individual fabrics.
04-25-2011, 09:51 AM
#38
Super Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 1,284
Originally Posted by AlienQuilter
I've seen quilts done by professionals that have made me cringe. I've seen quilts by beginners that just wowed me.
I won't ever critique someones work unless I've been asked. Then, as I've been taught in management classes, before giving advice, point out and praise what they did right.
I also try to follow my dear Aunt's advice, "If you can't find anything nice to say, it's best not to say anything at all."
I can't stand Picasso. If someone would ask me to say something nice, I would find it very difficult to say anything positive. But, if asked about Raphael, I could go on all day about what a fabulous artist he was. Yet both were famous. Go figure, I probably would be boo'ed out of a musuem! :roll:
I won't ever critique someones work unless I've been asked. Then, as I've been taught in management classes, before giving advice, point out and praise what they did right.
I also try to follow my dear Aunt's advice, "If you can't find anything nice to say, it's best not to say anything at all."
I can't stand Picasso. If someone would ask me to say something nice, I would find it very difficult to say anything positive. But, if asked about Raphael, I could go on all day about what a fabulous artist he was. Yet both were famous. Go figure, I probably would be boo'ed out of a musuem! :roll:
Encouragement is always appreciated. Criticisim, even though it may be constructive, is at best, difficlut in person, in writing almost impossible. If You can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. Unless asked and then be very careful and gracious.
04-25-2011, 11:28 AM
#40
Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Greeneville, TN
Posts: 796
There are so many skill levels and personal preferences represented on this board that I feel we each need to respect the effort made by our members presenting their work for our viewing. Who are we to judge another? Quilts are like people, none of them are perfect. I remember making my first quilt and not even wanting to show it to anyone because I knew it wasn't up to the standard of an experienced quilter. Yet I made that first quilt without any help while I was waiting for the birth of my first child. It carried all the love and hopes and dreams I had for him. He didn't care what it looked like. He still doesn't care that it isn't as pretty as the quilts I make now after years of experience. He cherishes it and keeps it still, as tattered and worn as it is and to him it is still beautiful. They are both 38 years old now. If someone had said the wrong thing to me about that quilt I may never have made another effort. I may not have gone on to take classes and expand my horizons and become better. My quilts today wouldn't win any prizes. I know that and frankly I don't care. I give them proudly from my heart, where criticism does not live. Ann in TN
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