quiltswithdogs

I'm feeling kind of reflective. I have noticed that because of our financial difficulties, losing our home of 20yrs, in great part because I had to stop working due to my chronic illnesses (+3 surgeries in 18mo), I have not quilted since before Christmas. I think I'm feeling guilty to have fun while poor hubby goes to a job he hates and that pays so little these days (trying to sell cars). It was different before the holidays because my quilting enabled us to give a gift to each daughter, mom, sis, nieces, at no cost. Quilting now would be just for my pleasure. I'm not skilled enough to sell and anyway, I don't want the time demands now; I'm supposed to be packing and with my medical situation, that's hard to fit into my life. But packing, selling, giving away my things makes me sad; quilting makes me happy. Well, that and my dog, and she died in Jan (can you believe that bad timing? I'm beginning to feel like a country song!)

This analying motivated me this week to join the 2009 Pioneer Block of the Month group. They all assurred me it's ok to go at my own pace. I'm 4 months behind. So far, I've got the first block planned and cut and ready to assemble. I'm having fun and that's when I identified the guilt. Yes, I know, intellectually, that I shouldn't feel guilty, that quilting is therapy, blah blah blah.... but knowing something doesn't change how one feels.

I am trying to prepare for the big Downsizing from a 3 bed house to a tiny 1bed apt. With laminate flooring and less and less furniture, our living room is beginning to echo. When the couch was taken away a few days ago, it suddenly hit me... I'm not going to have my quilt room much longer so I should enjoy it now! That thought shocked me into the small project, not too demanding, BOM idea.

Don't worry, I'm not clinically depressed, just sad, frustrated and feeling overwhelmed with the daunting task of packing with the pains and daily fatigue of Rheumatoid Arthritis +other conditions. I still laugh often and even sing... that's when I discovered the great acoustics our living room now has!

I don't really expect advice here, but do any of you ever feel too guilty to allow yourself to quilt? I've gone 5 months without quilting.

BellaBoo

I would think using the fabric now while you can to make quilts or projects for future gifts would be better then letting it sit in packed box. Don't be too hard on yourself. It's not your fault you have a medical problem. If the situation was reversed, you wouldn't want you DH to feel bad about doing a hobby that made him feel better.

motomom

Future gifts are ok, too. And don't forget the gift to yourself to help you in the healing process. Who knows how much faster you would heal if you quilted?

And you have lots of stress to heal from now, my dear. Please remember to take care of you.

Bill'sBonBon

The situation you are in is horrible. But you should do what is the best for you and I do believe doing something that is making you happy,relieving stress is the thing to do. It not only helps you but helps your DH. If you are unable to cope very well and a husband comes home to sadness,it makes his job harder to go to,especially if he hates what he is doing. Coming home to a wife able to cope with what is happening to you,would seem to me is better than coming home to a dark cloud. But my gosh you have a great deal to handle and who would blame you for have a dark cloud.. So you quilt in your room until you cannot and try to make room where you are going to do some. You will be in my thoughts and prayers. Keep us posted.
BillsBonBon

MsSage

I am sure your Dr has told you that stress componds sickness/injury?
Pain causes all kinds of reactions emotionaly. Fear of the unknown will eat you alive. moving, loss of job, medical issues are on the top for stress factors, which bring on depression.

OK now having said all that ...
Quilting is something that brings you peace. Dont stop doing it. You NEED an outlet and a way to just relax. You sleep better which heals you faster when your relaxed.
Venting is another way of letting go of the frustration and fear and anger. We are here ,vent away.
Sending prayers for comfort.

CindyBee

With all the changes happening in your life right now, I think it's natural to feel down sometimes. Who wouldn't in your circumstances? It's a huge adjustment. Things will sort themselves out eventually, but in the meantime there is no harm in taking pleasure in the simple things in life. We are always hardest on ourselves. Be kind to yourself Hun, and enjoy your quilting to the fullest. Thank you for sharing with us and here's a big {{HUG}}.

roselady

I am so sorry for all that you are going through. I absolutely can relate to your feeling guilty when you quilt. I really have to fight that feeling. Through the years I have told myself that I shouldn't quilt until all the housework is done, yardwork done, etc.... Well we all know that NEVER happens. In the past I've gone many months not allowing myself to quilt because there were so many others "more important" things I felt I should be doing. It is a hard balancing act to do, keeping the home livable, cooking, time with our familys, church activites, etc..., but we need to allow ourselves time for what gives us such joy also. Like everyone else has said, take care of yourself and you will be so much more able to take care of your DH and your difficult situation.

Shemjo

Quilting brings you pleasure! DO IT! Future gifts, if nothing else! Sew up a storm so you don't have to pack it all away. That might be the box(es) that get lost. Stress makes everything worse. Keep a place for Happy! :lol:

Ninnie

Quilting has helped me through some of the worst times in my life! You are no good to anyone else if you don't take care of yourself.

Moonpi

Changes can be so hard at times. I wish you well.