Feeling left out.
#121
Please don't think all guilds are like that. It is sad some people are so narrow minded & I'm sorry anyone is treated rudely. I am proud to say that our guild in Van Alstyne, TX has had members ranging in age from 10 to 90 something. Some hand quilt & we admire their work as well as the home machine quilters & the long armers. We have a program each month & always enjoy encountering something new. We have show & tell & love seeing different choices of color, etc. They may not all be something we would do ourselves but praise the work of others. Quilting is an art form & each person has the right to express themselves. Heck, sometimes because of special requests from loved ones, we even have to work in colors or patterns we wouldn't pick for ourselves. But the same amount of love & care go into all our creations. We need to remember each person has a bit of themselves in each creation.
#122
I am sorry to hear that people have been rude to you. This is something I have not found among quilters but I live in a small community. Our group is a loose knit group of quilters. We don't have any rules or dues. When we do charity projects, everyone makes a contribution. We enjoy sharing whatever we are working on and seek advice from one another when we need it. We are not all at the same stage in our quilting journey. We know that we are not perfect and do not expect perfection in others. There is never a legitimate time to be rude. Even the best quilters make mistakes. Hopefully we can learn from them and become better quilters. Most of us will never be professionals but that doesn't mean we can't make beautiful quilts.
#124
Super Member
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Joplin, Missouri
Posts: 1,058
This is such a sad string of replies. There is something to learn from this though.. All of us who have been hurt and rejected ought to make sure we are the first ones to be welcoming and kind to everyone we come in contact with. Not only in our guilds, but in our stores, and malls and banks and gas stations. We are all just trying our best with what we have today. I sometimes wonder what ever happened to make someone be like they are. We don't come mean and ugly, nasty words have to be learned. I am so sorry so many have been hurt. If you come to our guild, look for me, I'm always looking for someone who has just walked in. I promise to introduce you to some others that will be glad you're there. I'm sorry rudeness has come into fashion. I'm afraid it will get worse, rudeness and worse is all that's on tv and that's what the little kids are growing up on.
#125
Super Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 1,918
It is sad that grown women act like they are in high school. I belong to a sewing group and it is ok. At first it was more friendly and fun. There are things they talk about or go to and never ask me as I'm the newcomer although it has been a couple of years. I'm not the best quilter but I hold my own. I almost stopped going because in conversation I felt left out but I enjoy getting out and there are some women that don't come every time but when they do it is a lot more fun so I just go hoping one of them will be there. Some act like it is their club so maybe next year I will find another place to go. I live in a remote area so it isn't easy to find a group. Then I think hey who are you??? and just go and ignore the coldness and enjoy.I figure it ticks them off more when a couple of us outsiders come which makes me smile!!!
#126
Originally Posted by mortinarose
It is sad that grown women act like they are in high school. I belong to a sewing group and it is ok. At first it was more friendly and fun. There are things they talk about or go to and never ask me as I'm the newcomer although it has been a couple of years. I'm not the best quilter but I hold my own. I almost stopped going because in conversation I felt left out but I enjoy getting out and there are some women that don't come every time but when they do it is a lot more fun so I just go hoping one of them will be there. Some act like it is their club so maybe next year I will find another place to go. I live in a remote area so it isn't easy to find a group. Then I think hey who are you??? and just go and ignore the coldness and enjoy.I figure it ticks them off more when a couple of us outsiders come which makes me smile!!!
We really did not know how you control such chatter. I do not think the ladies meant to be rude, just unaware of any hurt they were causing. I agree with your statement that you keep on showing up and stay right in their faces! :lol:
#127
Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: McMinnville, oregon
Posts: 610
in the early 80's a friend invited me to join DAR (daughter's of American Revelotion). at the first meeting i was told i couldn't join cause i couldn't show lineage on my fathers side..cause i am illegiment..and the lady that told me that put her nose in the air and gave me a smerk...i felt like i was no good...wow i tell you i cried for a long time over that...many years have passed and have gotten over it but sometimes still think of it..someone once told me it's not how we got here it's what we do with our life...
don't feel left out, do your best and know you are helping others..that is the key...helping others.. :D
don't feel left out, do your best and know you are helping others..that is the key...helping others.. :D
#128
Y'know, just because someone reaches an adult age does not guarantee they gain any wisdom or maturity!
Quilters are a loving, caring breed of gals/guys, hands down. So these people who jump snotty just because they are in some kind of clique-y group just ain't Real Quilters as far as I'm concerned! Hardly even adults, I'd say.
Always remember, you as the "underdog" in these situations are at a distinct advantage over the snotties: YOU get to go home and be with yourself, and THEY get to go home and be with themselves!! Wouldn't trade with THEM for all my stash!
Ha!
Quilters are a loving, caring breed of gals/guys, hands down. So these people who jump snotty just because they are in some kind of clique-y group just ain't Real Quilters as far as I'm concerned! Hardly even adults, I'd say.
Always remember, you as the "underdog" in these situations are at a distinct advantage over the snotties: YOU get to go home and be with yourself, and THEY get to go home and be with themselves!! Wouldn't trade with THEM for all my stash!
Ha!
#129
Super Member
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Toronto, Canada
Posts: 1,208
I can relate. That is why I will not join a guild. I went with my g/f to a few of her quilt gatherings & they tried to make me feel inferior & that is the wrong move with me. We all have to start somewhere. Correct
#130
I have read the replies on this topic and have experienced many of the complaints first hand by rude folks. Face it...there are some "not so nice people" in this world & it is growing daily. But, that just makes me want to try harder to be a better person. Reach out to others more. Ya just never know if someone is hurting inside or having a problem so smile and say hello. Ask how they are doing. Tell them to have a nice day. To the rude folks, I like to face them off and just ask them how perfect they were when they first started out. Or how do they think God must feel about their behavior. I have run into the cliques in Guilds, Bees, and forum as well. That is why I landed here. I think I can get the help I need to further my knowledge in quilting from you sweet people. I do not need a rude bunch. I can talk and post back & forth here. I need to figure out the Chat thingy. LOL I need & want quilty friends. None of us need or want rude treatment from anywhere. I am just plain old me and do not want to have to pass a test to see if I am good enough to be in any group. So I look at this as "my" online guild sort of place. Thank You for allowing me to join and be a part of you.
Thread
Thread Starter
Forum
Replies
Last Post