Gifting Quilts (Excluding Charity Quilts)/Questions
11-20-2017, 04:35 AM
#21
Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 659
I have given away many baby quilts - the ones most appreciated have been those “not expected”. New grandmas to have at their house is one of my favorites. The biggest thank you came from my SIL’s cousin who had been one of my daughters bridesmaids. You never know.
11-20-2017, 07:02 AM
#22
Super Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Sonoma County, CA
Posts: 4,299
I'm lucky - both of my grandmothers were avid quilters, so I have a large family that has all been raised to appreciate home-made quilts and understand what they are. I don't lack for grateful quilt recipients in my family!
On my DH's side, a lot of them are a bit mystified by the whole "hand made" thing but I've stuck with mostly baby quilts for them so those have been well-received. DH's mom and grandma both like quilts so they've each received a couple from me. His grandmother made me cry when I gave her the first one - she was 86 years old at the time and told me that nobody in her entire life had ever made a quilt for her!
That was very special for me, to be the first one to ever give her a quilt made just for her. And I don't think it's left her bed since, except to be laundered! 
On my DH's side, a lot of them are a bit mystified by the whole "hand made" thing but I've stuck with mostly baby quilts for them so those have been well-received. DH's mom and grandma both like quilts so they've each received a couple from me. His grandmother made me cry when I gave her the first one - she was 86 years old at the time and told me that nobody in her entire life had ever made a quilt for her!
That was very special for me, to be the first one to ever give her a quilt made just for her. And I don't think it's left her bed since, except to be laundered!
11-20-2017, 07:46 AM
#23
Super Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 1,857
You are absolutely coming from the 'right place' in your thinking about gifting quilts. The key, I believe, is giving the quilt to a person who wants one. That sounds odd, but sometimes people give gifts for themselves and not for the recipient. Also, that they are something the person will want to use and display. A delicate, embellished white quilt will not work well for a person with a houseful of toddlers! One of my daughters is very modern with a 'boring' color scheme and minimalist decor. I have wanted to give her a quilt for years, but, what kind would actually be used? Finally I saw a modern illusions quilt and did it in greys, taupe and cream. It was very difficult for me to get started and work on it in the beginning. I just had to keep reminding myself that it was for her and her taste. It actually looked really good and she loves it. (And, it started me making a few more modern designed quilts.) But, you also have to remember that tastes change, so the grandson who is a huge Star Wars fan may change (although I doubt it with Star Wars!). If they do change and the quilt goes in the cupboard, so be it. You can not let it stop you from gifting someone else.
11-20-2017, 10:09 PM
#24
Super Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: SoCal
Posts: 1,859
Quilts for gifts: I TRY to use colors the person will like, IF I can find that out. BUT, when it's all said and done, ONCE that quilt has left my hand, I don't give it another thought. It's no longer mine to worry about. Quilt with your heart and just don't think about it.
11-21-2017, 11:22 AM
#25
Super Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Carmichael, CA
Posts: 1,997
I had posted this response in another thread, but it applicable here so I thought I would put it out there again.
We are quilters. We love everything about quilts, We know how much time, effort and money it takes into making a quilt. All these stories about people who received quilts and "disrespected" the gifter. Really? Once you gift the quilt you're done. To assume everyone else has the same passion for quilts leads to these feelings of betrayal. Here's why I say this. I won't make a quilt for my mother. Why? Because quilts are just not her thing. She leans modern in her home decorating, she was not raised with family members quilting/sewing, so quilts have never been a part of her life. Now that she's 80 and I like to quilt, she is not going to change. She understands the time and effort I put into a quilt and thinks they are lovely, but not for her or in her house. BTW, my mother and I are really close. I'm sure there are many other people out there who receive quilts from friends who are just like this. Of course she has never said this directly to me, but when I was first starting to quilt I made her a lap quilt. I haven't seen it, so I am pretty sure she has gotten rid of it, but that's ok. I did specifically tell her it was hers to do as she wanted and that included not using it as well. The point is, she didn't disrespect me. I gave her something that she did not ask for, so how can I expect her to display/care for it in a way that I find acceptable? I for one am happy that people Use the quilt I gave them; and if that includes laying it on the ground for a picnic so be it.
We are quilters. We love everything about quilts, We know how much time, effort and money it takes into making a quilt. All these stories about people who received quilts and "disrespected" the gifter. Really? Once you gift the quilt you're done. To assume everyone else has the same passion for quilts leads to these feelings of betrayal. Here's why I say this. I won't make a quilt for my mother. Why? Because quilts are just not her thing. She leans modern in her home decorating, she was not raised with family members quilting/sewing, so quilts have never been a part of her life. Now that she's 80 and I like to quilt, she is not going to change. She understands the time and effort I put into a quilt and thinks they are lovely, but not for her or in her house. BTW, my mother and I are really close. I'm sure there are many other people out there who receive quilts from friends who are just like this. Of course she has never said this directly to me, but when I was first starting to quilt I made her a lap quilt. I haven't seen it, so I am pretty sure she has gotten rid of it, but that's ok. I did specifically tell her it was hers to do as she wanted and that included not using it as well. The point is, she didn't disrespect me. I gave her something that she did not ask for, so how can I expect her to display/care for it in a way that I find acceptable? I for one am happy that people Use the quilt I gave them; and if that includes laying it on the ground for a picnic so be it.
11-21-2017, 12:50 PM
#26
Super Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Ontario Canada
Posts: 1,869
Ekuw - All these stories about people who received quilts and "disrespected" the gifter. Really? Once you gift the quilt you're done
I think for some people it's how the gift is disrespected. My sister raved about how gorgeous the quilts I make are, and chose three patterns, and I bought the fabric, made the quilt, etc. and then she used them for her cats??? There was never any discussion about them being used for the cats. I certainly didn't expect them to be hanging on the walls, but they are so covered in cat hair and being clawed by the cats that they are destroyed. To me, that is disrespectful.
I think for some people it's how the gift is disrespected. My sister raved about how gorgeous the quilts I make are, and chose three patterns, and I bought the fabric, made the quilt, etc. and then she used them for her cats??? There was never any discussion about them being used for the cats. I certainly didn't expect them to be hanging on the walls, but they are so covered in cat hair and being clawed by the cats that they are destroyed. To me, that is disrespectful.
11-21-2017, 01:54 PM
#27
Super Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Carmichael, CA
Posts: 1,997
MarionsQuilts-I can understand your perspective, but I don't share it. Nothing like this has ever happened when I have gifted a quilt (that I know of) but I think if it did, I would still feel the same. Once you gift the quilt your done....Since I don't know either of you (just playing devils advocate here) maybe in your sisters mind allowing her cats to use the quilts are the highest form of praise she can give to you. Either that or she is just astoundingly oblivious. Lots of people out there like that.
11-21-2017, 05:45 PM
#28
Power Poster
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 15,639
I gift mine too. Sometimes, I have a recipient in mind and use something in their interest/color way. Other times, I make a quilt because I want to try a new pattern or use up some fabric and I have nobody in mind. Then I wait for that person who falls in love with it and bingo....it has a new home.
The first quilt I made for my mom never got used. So I made her a utilitarian one and wrote a poem to go with it. The poem was from the viewpoint of the quilt. It talked about the purpose and the love; basically a "I don't care if you sit on my quilt" for adults. She uses it regularly. I would post the poem but it is in German and doesn't translate well.
The first quilt I made for my mom never got used. So I made her a utilitarian one and wrote a poem to go with it. The poem was from the viewpoint of the quilt. It talked about the purpose and the love; basically a "I don't care if you sit on my quilt" for adults. She uses it regularly. I would post the poem but it is in German and doesn't translate well.
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