Giving Quilts - No Reaction from Recipients
#41
My mother made many quilts for me and I didn't know enough to cherish them. When I started quilting, I got a BIG lesson in mother appreciation. I wish I could tell her how much those quilts mean to me now. I have a hard time forgiving myself, so I try real hard to forgive others for making the same mistake.
#42
Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 976
Some people just don't "get it" when it comes to quilts. I would try and engage your MIL in a discussion, it may not be her "thing", maybe she would just like a table runner, keep the quilt unless she says she truly would like it finished. I made a few small things for my MIL her reaction was so bland I will not sew for her at all. Pretty surprising since she crafts but doesnt sew.
#43
Junior Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Auburn, Wa
Posts: 177
Giving a gift and then taking it back kind of takes the wind out of the gift. It leaves you feeling a little awkward because you're not really sure if it's really your gift or not. I've made quilt tops that I think this isn't what I thought it would be until I put it on the long arm and it's like magic! Give them the benefit of the doubt and i'll bet when they really get their gift they will react better.
#44
Super Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Midwest
Posts: 5,051
I look at it a different way. Anything that has to do with ones' "decor" and tastes is very personal. Unless the recipient was involved in the choosing of pattern, colors, etc. it would be awkward to expect them to be head over heels with such a gift unless they truly love it. Giving a king sized quilt implies that they must use the quilt and if they don't "like" it, it gets awkward. I would never just make a large quilted piece such as a bed quilt without their involvement and input. I would make smaller items such as a throw or bed runner or table runner or whatever. Then if they don't like it , you are not out as much $$$ and time.
#45
Super Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Fort Worth, TX
Posts: 1,343
I have had that reaction from my sister, but then she reacts that way to everything. Maybe they don't have the vision you do yet because it is unfinished. I would finish it and give it in the spirit it was intended and if they use it, great, if they don't, go to the suggested cheese and sausage package...lol Know that you gave something from the heart,
#46
Junior Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Georgia
Posts: 253
Yep. Just last week I posted about the 10 teacher gifts I made and goodies I sent for the entire staff. I got two thank you's via email and one in person when I dropped everything off. One message said something about me expecting to get praised, another that the teachers are busy. I know they're busy, but it doesn't take more than a minute to send a thank you. The school gave each teacher a new Ipad. I did take some advice, I certainly won't be making wallhangings or sweatshirts next year like I did this year. I'll make an ornament for each and won't be sending goodies. My husband and I are both retired. I spent way more money and time than I should have, but wanted to make it nice for the teachers because I know they never get anything from anyone. Next year I'll spend all that money and time on my 16 grandchildren. One year I bought my mother in law the best microwave Sears sold. She told me if I didn't give her something personal not to give her anything at all. So I never bought her a gift again. My father in law was thrilled with the microwave. Sure makes someone think about spending their hard earned money and time on gifts for someone like this. Sorry this happened to you. There's probably hundreds out there that would love to have that quilt. Me being me I'd finish it and donate it to the church for the needy. I know that's a hard thing to do though with all that work involved.
Don't let it ruin your generousity though.
Don't let it ruin your generousity though.
#47
Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Cedar Hill, TX
Posts: 430
helenquilt
If people grew up in the days when (homemade) quilts thrown together for warmth was all they had they do no want them again, I know this from my Mother. Once she discovered a blanket she didn't use a quilt again for years. Then after my DAD died she made quilts consistenly for 25 yrs.
#48
Super Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: East Tennessee
Posts: 1,102
I know this sounds weird, but I had the opposite reaction.
My dad has had more to do with my "quiltin' career" than anyone, except my husband. My dad still has the first thing (pillow) I quilted so many years ago. Anyway, I made the same kind of wallhanging for my dad, my mom, my inlaws and my boss. My boss and my dad just went nuts over them!! To be fair, my MIL thought I'd bought it and was kind about it, but then my hubby mentioned that I made it and he said she liked it a lot more LOL.
But I threw together a quilt in a week for my dad. I could see all the mistakes in it and I was really nervous about giving it because I was afraid it would look "cheap" to give homemade gifts. I thought he'd like the colors, but I think there is something about picking out your own colors for a quilt... Anyway, he loves the quilt. It's not fancy and the quilting lines aren't straight. I told him (and I mean it) that it's not an heirloom quilt, it's one for the bed. I honestly don't care if he uses it with a bedspread or as the bedspread. I made it to keep him warm. But he's in love with it. I don't know if he'll put it on his bed, or a guest bed. I promised him I'd make him another one and thinking "I'll make you a better one".
It's kind of weird and embarrassing.
My dad has had more to do with my "quiltin' career" than anyone, except my husband. My dad still has the first thing (pillow) I quilted so many years ago. Anyway, I made the same kind of wallhanging for my dad, my mom, my inlaws and my boss. My boss and my dad just went nuts over them!! To be fair, my MIL thought I'd bought it and was kind about it, but then my hubby mentioned that I made it and he said she liked it a lot more LOL.
But I threw together a quilt in a week for my dad. I could see all the mistakes in it and I was really nervous about giving it because I was afraid it would look "cheap" to give homemade gifts. I thought he'd like the colors, but I think there is something about picking out your own colors for a quilt... Anyway, he loves the quilt. It's not fancy and the quilting lines aren't straight. I told him (and I mean it) that it's not an heirloom quilt, it's one for the bed. I honestly don't care if he uses it with a bedspread or as the bedspread. I made it to keep him warm. But he's in love with it. I don't know if he'll put it on his bed, or a guest bed. I promised him I'd make him another one and thinking "I'll make you a better one".
It's kind of weird and embarrassing.
#49
I look at it a different way. Anything that has to do with ones' "decor" and tastes is very personal. Unless the recipient was involved in the choosing of pattern, colors, etc. it would be awkward to expect them to be head over heels with such a gift unless they truly love it. Giving a king sized quilt implies that they must use the quilt and if they don't "like" it, it gets awkward. I would never just make a large quilted piece such as a bed quilt without their involvement and input. I would make smaller items such as a throw or bed runner or table runner or whatever. Then if they don't like it , you are not out as much $$$ and time.
I only make throws for my friends,use the colors of their decor, and so far everybody has been happy.
I don't even have a full size quilt on my beds. I make oversized throws and just put them on the foot of the bed.
Quilts are too warm in the summer here and not warm enough in the winter, at least for me.
Everybody has their own personal style, and I would never presume that people have to love it, just because I spend my money and my time making it.When I choose to make a quilt for somebody I will give them MY gift and than it is Theirs, to do with as they please.
I guess it kind of sounds cold hearted, but this is the only way for me to keep from getting my feelings hurt
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08-03-2013 05:43 PM