Aurora

We have a few like that. I usually just stay in my own "zone" mentally. My favorite is the one who brings as little as she can and then wants to borrow things from everyone else.

DOTTYMO

We had a lady like this she has just discovered she has hearing loss and is very quiet now with her new hearing aid.
she never listened to instructions but wanted teachers help all the time at the expensive of the rest of a class.

miriam

I was trying to teach a lady to mend her hubby's pants one time and she kept crying deep sobs.... I finally realized she needed to back up and do more basics before she could go on. So I got in her face and told her I could see that she knew some about sewing but was struggling. So I asked her if I could show her a few basic things because some times we have to go back before we can go on. I told her not to feel insulted but I was going to show her really basic stuff and maybe she could practice what I would show my grand daughters. So we did it. After a while she figured out where her problem areas were and she was going to town sewing. No more tears and she did the original project in no time. BTW she is left handed and struggled because of it. I showed her how it was easier to sew left handed than right and she calmed down. Maybe since you care about her, you can figure out where she needs real help and meet that need before the program. Maybe she just is needy for attention. Spend some time with her outside of class.

AudreyB

It's tough. From my experience, when you make a general announcement then the one who needs to hear it thinks it is about others and not her so she ignores it, and the ones who do not need it think it is about them and overcorrect. An example would be discussing tardiness. Those who are tardy will not think you are talking to them and continue to be tardy, and those who are on time will arrive even earlier. Same with talking...those who talk will ignore the comment and those who barely talk will clam up. It's hard to talk to the specific individual, but sometimes it's the best way (or only way to get results).

CanoePam

Direct does not equal mean. If the OP's group is unanimous in their behavior, it will work. Just decide ahead of time how you will behave if you are asked for help. "Sorry, I am working on my own stuff right now and don't have time to help for an hour or so (or until break or until lunch ...)." She will go to the next person (after looking at you like a kicked puppy), and they need to say the same thing. When she gets to the "but it will only take you a minute," just repeat. I have always called it the broken record approach, and it really does work. If you aren't willing to confront the problem directly, nothing will change.

quiltnutt

This used to happen to us and drove us crazy. Finally this person used up someone's starch,brand new can, and the girl told her "since you used my brand new can you have to go to the store and buy 2 cans..one for me and one for you." It was priceless and the lady never borrowed again..she brought her own.

Neesie

Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't a retreat supposed to relax you? After reading all of the replies and trying to imagine myself in the offender's shoes, I've thought of another possible solution.

Take with you, a few sewing or quilting books (or a few light novels or whatever). If possible, take one you wouldn't mind letting her keep. When she starts badgering you to do her work, kindly tell her you NEED this time to focus on yourself and your own project. Apologize, if it makes you feel better, for not being able to focus on her and her chosen project. Then offer to let her borrow one of your books, to help her relax and pass the time. Perhaps everyone should arrive, armed with books or magazines. If she's simply lonely, this will allow her to be a part of the group, while learning the craft. If she's only looking for someone else to work for her, this will serve as a gentle but firm refusal.

I also still think someone should offer to tutor her privately, at a later date (for a fee).

squires1042

We put out a list of retreat etiquette rules to everyone. This way there is no confusion and everyone is treated the same way, so no hurt feelings. Its all possibly her way of getting attention she would not normally be around and misses.

HouseDragon

I write my first name on everything I bring to any class/retreat.

Good thing! At one class where we were squished together because the instructor had added extra students, the woman next to me kept using my 6" x 12" ruler. As we were packing up, my ruler had disappeared. I asked her to return my ruler and she said it was hers!!! I said please get it out and showed her my name right there in red permanent ink.

She didn't say "Sorry."

SingerSewer

Do you have a list of the retreat etiquette rules you would be willing to share? I think that would be the best way to handle the situation. Thank you.

Everyone's comments have been excellent. It is not the lady isn't probably nice. It is just hard to know when she is constantly talking and/or wanting help. She has a very needy personality. Most of the rest of us are pretty independent. We ask others questions. We borrow things that are returned immediately. I have faith it will all work out for everyone's benefit.

Thank you