SingerSewer

How do you handle someone at meetings and classes that is constantly talking and wants everyone to stop and help her all of the time? She will be spending four days with us and we need to know how to tell her we want to have fun and get things done and we aren't her private tutors.

Thank you...all help, suggestions, along with what not to do is appreciated.

SharonTheriault

How about telling her just that. She sounds like you will have to be direct and clear before she would get the point.

tessagin

How long has she been able to get away with this? If you have a speaker or some one in charge of the classes and/or meetings tell them to instruct everyone to write down their questions and comments for after the session. And if she starts talking before the session is over with tell you'll talk after the meeting because you want to hear what's going on now. if you have to show her the hand (stop sign) and say "later".

Tartan

Can your grin and bear it for 4 days? If however you really can't stand it any more, you will have to tell her that she should write her questions down to be addressed at the end of the class and to not interrupt others or the instructor. It might be more tactful to write out the rules and give them to all attending rather then singling her out.

quiltstringz

Boy that is a tough situation! I am thinking like Tartan that when you all get there the leader should just do some housekeeping tips/rules and mention that everyone is there to get things done and have fun working on THEIR projects. Maybe you could mention that in the evening (or whatever time) that after lunch/dinner that you can set aside an hour for anyone wanting to participate in lending a hand or giving/getting help but that it is strictly on a voluntary basis.

NJ Quilter

This should be the meeting leader and/or instructor's role to politely inform the group that questions will be addressed at the end of the session or the end the end of a particular topic's discussion. It should also be that person's responsibility to, as politely as possible, admonish the offender as needed. Gentle reminders - 'Betty, we'll cover that in a bit' kind of thing. When/if the gentle reminders are not sufficient, it is still the leader/instructor's role to have a one-on-one conversation with that person.

It should not be the meeting or class attendees responsibility to resolve this issue. As a fellow attendee the best you can do is ignore the person and hopefully they will eventually get the message. Or, as quietly as possible so as to not disturb others if she asks you a question directly, flat out tell her you are trying to hear the speaker and then continue to ignore her.

You have to be tough with these kinds or the problem just continues to grow.

bearisgray

Duct tape?

SingerSewer

Somehow I messed up in my description. We deal with the person at meetings and classes as best we can. We are going on a four day retreat and she has signed up to go. In meetings and in classes she asks the instructor to come and help. If they can't then she pesters/bugs/etc. the people around her to help her. Sorry for not making myself more clear.

It is not our intention to be rude to her but we really would like to get the point across that she has to take care of herself and not expect others to stop and help her. Which ordinarily turns into doing most of it or helping her remove stitches.

bearisgray

Bring along an extra seam ripper?

Ask ahead of times for scheduled breaks - then make a sign you can hold up that says " I will help you later during the break - I want to see/hear what the instrucor is doing now."

She may be looking for attention. Do you know anything about her home life?
But that still makes her challenging to be around.

Is she hearing impaired and missing a lot ? I know I've had some hearing loss and am missing more of what is being said. If so, maybe she could sit in front to be closer to the instructor?

Divokittysmom

Perhaps the leader of your group can either speak to the entire group before leaving for the retreat, or if nothing is scheduled send out an email or letter to members stating that the retreat is someplace that quilters will have less or no one there to help with issues... something worded like that. Or... simply take this individual aside and talk with them one on one. I have had this happen in a classes I was teaching machine embroidery. It is a very difficult issue to deal with. Especially, when the person throws an actual temper tantrum in class.... very embarrassing for all! Luckily, she left after that!! I hope this situation can be resolved for you so that everyone involved in this retreat can have a nice peaceful time.. or should I say, pieceful..