quiltmom04

[quote=Sloan Quinn]This sounds like my husband, before he was my husband. I do want to point out that while it most certainly is not a good example, it is also not necessarily abuse. Even back then (when he was still with his ex-wife), he would only curse at the boys when he was either really angry or they had just scared him out of his wits - the younger of the two had a tendency to punch windows and break them when he was little, for example.

Yes, it IS abuse!

Sloan Quinn

Oh? So if he were to say "You scared the $*** out of me! What the hell were you thinking?!" when one of them falls and just about splits his head open on a table, that's abuse? Sounds like parental concern to me.

Now, if he called him a f****** idiot for falling, that would be abuse.

I don't know how many quilters here curse, but for one who does, when they get startled, or scared, or angry, words that you may not normally say in present company do slip out. That's why we teach children not to curse from the start. Would you want to get flustered in a job interview and suddenly drop an F-bomb? It's just a fact of life. Some people curse, and while they may or may not normally do it around their children or to their children, it does happen on occasion.

alleyoop1

Seems to me a verse from Romans 12:20 is appropriate here: "If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head." You could also add a nice label on the back with a verse like this one: "For, whoever would love life and see good days must keep their tongue from evil and their lips from deceitful speech." I Peter 3:10

makakehau

I agree with Matee wholeheartedly. Hard as it may be, take the high road and be kind to him. Even if it doesn't work, you can have the satisfaction of knowing you tried.

Good luck to you.
Lori

CRicart

Pray as you go. Prayer is the best gift, and if he does not change, you have at least been in a better place as you work.
I think you are within your rights to insist he clean up his language in your hosue. We limit smokers, don't we? A simple statement of "That is not acceptable here" is factual, non-judgemental and sets an example for the kids that you have standards for polite conversation. If you don't, the kids will be using these words to you!
Hugs,
Christine

ruthieg

I agree with Gwyn and you should have your DD and DGKs come over and tie it. That will a lot of love and laughter into the quilt. A memory for you and a quilt the DGKs and DD will give warmth in their hearts forever.

bjnicholson

There's something to be said about choosing spouses for your kids! But, you kind of have to deal with the one you got so just grit your teeth and grin and bear it, yada, yada, YADA!!! Maybe a little chocolate will help. Or, some wine :-o

caspoohbear

"accidentally" sew a pin into it? No, I think praying for him is probably a better answer. We're all sick in our own ways, and need prayers to recover.

galvestonangel

Pray for him and remember he does this because he doesn't feel good about himself. I don't know his background but I bet it probably was not happy. Set an example for him, kill him with kindness.

By doing this quilt, it may open his eyes a little and maybe he will become a better person. Any way it will make your daughter happy.

galvestonangel

Oh I forgot the most important step. You then turn it over to God and let Him do His work. I have found that when I get out of the way, He will do the work.