Hiding Fabric Purchases
08-04-2011, 11:22 AM
#151
Super Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 2,667
Originally Posted by angelarose
Originally Posted by Patchesnposies
In my first marriage I had a husband who would check the grocery store receipt to make sure I hadn't "snuck" anything. I was young and had a lot of childhood baggage that made me feel worthless, so I acted like I was of little worth.
After about 10 years, I had grown enough to realize that I was of GREAT worth and deserved better than a life of coerced servitude and being constantly made to feel inferior. So I divorced him....and, surprise, I didn't crash and burn like he always told me I would if I left him...in fact I raised my three kids on my own by starting my own business cleaning houses while I went to college.
Eventually met and married the man of my dreams (though I had told myself there wasn't a man out there worth giving up my freedom for!)who is the love of my life.
I never have to hide anything from him and he encourages every one of my hearts desires. If I have an interest he pushes me to pursue it.
I still struggle with feeling unworthy (but it definitely does not come from him.....it's those old tapes in my head)when I buy something that is all for me.
I am so grateful to married to my husband....it is like my life did not truly begin until I met him, he is my best friend.
After about 10 years, I had grown enough to realize that I was of GREAT worth and deserved better than a life of coerced servitude and being constantly made to feel inferior. So I divorced him....and, surprise, I didn't crash and burn like he always told me I would if I left him...in fact I raised my three kids on my own by starting my own business cleaning houses while I went to college.
Eventually met and married the man of my dreams (though I had told myself there wasn't a man out there worth giving up my freedom for!)who is the love of my life.
I never have to hide anything from him and he encourages every one of my hearts desires. If I have an interest he pushes me to pursue it.
I still struggle with feeling unworthy (but it definitely does not come from him.....it's those old tapes in my head)when I buy something that is all for me.
I am so grateful to married to my husband....it is like my life did not truly begin until I met him, he is my best friend.
Bravo!!!!
Sometimes I have to just eject the tape and continue on.
08-04-2011, 11:23 AM
#152
Super Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Western MA
Posts: 2,720
Originally Posted by SuziC
I used to hide my purchases but only due to guilt of spending. I got over that years ago....My DH is a bow hunter and you cannot believe how much "stuff" you just "have to have" when the season comes around. So NO i don't hide my fabric at all. In fact now i show him every new piece and he says "that's great fabic, what are you going to make with that?" We have an understanding about our hobbies LOL it has worked for over 25 yrs!!!!!
08-04-2011, 11:24 AM
#153
Junior Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 294
Originally Posted by Becka
I don't have a hubby to "hide" from, but if my children catch me fondling a fabric unfamiliar to them, I do get an accusatory "Is that new?"
08-04-2011, 11:33 AM
#156
Junior Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 294
Originally Posted by ckcowl
i am so saddened by people who feel the need to hide their purchases- regardless if it's fabric or anything else. i guess i have been lucky to have a good open relationship with my husband and would never think of buying something i felt i needed to hide--except of course- gifts---
i find it very distressing to read of people who have to be sneaky in their own homes
i find it very distressing to read of people who have to be sneaky in their own homes
My husband doesn't have any desire to learn to sew but he loves to admire the fabrics and just play with the different colours. He has a good eye, too, comes up with combos I'd never dream of! He's more patient than I am, he'll pull out 30 different fabrics to find the one colour that will make his combo look right to him.
And if I ever ask him "which one of these do you think I should get?" the answer is always "get both, they are both really pretty." If it were up to my husband, I'd have a room full of fabric, rather than just two rolling Rubbermaid tubs.
I think part of our personal romance is that in some respects, we're still just a pair of kids playing with stuff together. There is no one I would rather play with.
08-04-2011, 11:35 AM
#157
Junior Member
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 101
back when i had a husband, now have a dog that does not care as long as he gets his iams, i used to keep old cereal boxes in the trunk of my car, now remember, he was not judging just wondering why i need yet another shade of purple when i had not finished the last four hundred projects that i had started, (this was in washington state, many quilting/fabric stores in my area, as a matter of fact i could buy fabric at ben franklin in port angles), so i would put the fabric in the cereal boxes, (big ones hold a lot) and leave them there, and when he would leave, i would bring them in and put them on my shelves, my kids thought it was hysterical, and i know tim knew, he just chose to ignore it. he is my x now, and has been for years, but the last time i spoke with him he laughed about it. the kids still tell stories and it has been over twenty years, ben, my oldest still askes "still eating those cherrios mom?, must laugh because it reminds me of how much fun it is to see new colors and designs. i hope all understand, one should not have to hide your work nor your projects that give you joy, however, if it was on sale and it was purple i would purchase it, now i am out of purple, must look for yellow, coral, brilliant green, and any other parrot color i can think of, must, must, must, and i will not forget the purple, violet, magenta, and so it goes
pls laugh with me
pls laugh with me
08-04-2011, 11:36 AM
#158
Member
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Idaho
Posts: 81
My husband is very supportive of my quilting hobby, thinks my quilts are beautiful and often helps me decide colors and placement, etc. When I have purchased fabric, I leave the bag in the trunk of my car. This is not about money spent; I spend money as I please and he has no problem, with the exception that when it involves an expensive item (fancy sewing machine), we always talk it over before purchasing. His problem with my fabric purchases is a matter of my already having a three lifetime supply, and my sewing room is beginning to have a very cluttered look. I understand his thinking, and I often feel guilty, but the devil eggs me on to make "just one" more purchase. Guess I am truly hooked, and if leaving my pkgs in the trunk until the coast is clear helps to keep the peace, so be it!!
08-04-2011, 11:37 AM
#159
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Elkhart In
Posts: 34
Glad to know that I am not alone in this. I've been recovering from a knee replacement and then a broken leg so I can't go, but my little fingers sure know how to work. He sure hates to see the packages. Try to beat the ups man,but some come though the mail. Than I am in trouble........
08-04-2011, 11:40 AM
#160
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: North
Posts: 49
I didn't realize so many people would be upset over the issue of trust in a marriage and fabric overload. Seriously who really can hide all those fabric (beads, dolls) purchases since it comes from the same checking account or credit card account. I don't try to hide the finances, but I do hide the fabric (and the beads and the dolls.........). Although it is pretty hard to hide the extra large dogs I have a habit of bringing home :)
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