AudreyB

I am a quilt teacher and teach several classes a month. One of my students, who comes to many of my classes, is a good quilter and a very nice lady. She told me today that her friend wants to take my beginning quilting class---and she will come with her! She didn't ask if she could come with her friend, just told me that she would.

I don't need an assistant. Someone attending my class and not "taking" the class is a distraction not only to me but also to the students. My classes are small because of limited seating and I take care of every student.

She said her friend was shy and wouldn't know anyone in class. Most people in my classes don't know one another before class. I appreciate her kindness to her friend, but not the interference with my class.

How do I tell her, without offending her, that I don't want non-students in class. I don't want to lose her as a friend/student, and she didn't take the hint when I suggested her friend would be okay.

Sadly, this isn't the first time this has happened. It is the third, and it's been three different people. I don't understand the presumption of people, but mostly I don't know how to handle it.

Any suggestions?

quiltingcandy

You could say as long as she wants to pay for the class, that's fine. But the chairs are for paying students. I would ask why the friend is so skittish. A friend of mine would not go to classes unless I took them with her. I always paid and sat quietly with my friend. One time I had a teacher watch me work, then asked why I took the class, and I said there is always something to learn. Since I never wanted to be one of those people that try and tell the teacher an easier way to do whatever they were teaching I would do what they instructed. And I think I always did learn something new.

Gramie bj

You second paragraph says it nicely. Have it printed and included in announcement of class at sigh up time. I would also post it in the class room. Don't these people know they are offending you, by questioning your ability to teach the class and questioning their friends ability to be adults in an adult learning environment?

Barb in Louisiana

I agree with QuiltingCandy. As long as she pays for a seat, she would be welcome. If I were a teacher, I would not allow a non-paying person to attend the class. That's just downright cheating, even if they don't really need to attend the class.

AudreyB

Yes, if she had offered to pay for the class that would have been a different story. She didn't.

Anniedeb

Since she didn't take the hint, and as you say, it's happened before, you need to put a stop to it. Adopt a "no free class" policy. This is a job, and your student/friend should not try to take advantage of you in that way. As a teacher you get PAID to teach!!

juneayerza

It looks like you could be stuck between a rock and a hard spot here. There may be nothing you can do in this situation if you are not willing to make a rule like Gramie bj suggested and stick by it. Or, she might just surprised you and pay for the class and keep a low profile in class. Hard to tell these days when everyone thinks they have the right to say and do whatever they please no matter what the situation is.

just_the_scraps_m'am

i think i would use the words...it's a policy of mine that i don't accept....be ready to answer the questions about, well you did it for suzy.....why can't i ......

Esmerelde

I would just say you can't accept non paying people into the class (that's a policy for adult education classes in my city). But you'll be happy to have her along if she takes the class.

Either she won't want to pay and won't come, or she will pay but it will be clear she isn't being an assistant.

I can see the friends point of. New too. I never do classes because I don't want to go on my own either :P

Mitty

The hardest part about situations like this is saying what needs to be said, and I know I have a heck of a time with it, even when I know that I have every right to say it. This is how I would plan to go about it, but I know from experience I don't always manage to execute my plan.

I would open the conversation by asking for clarification if she were planning on taking the class or not (something like, "Mary, I'm confused, are you taking the Quilting for Beginners class next month? I'm trying to get a headcount.").
If she said yes, then I would remind her of the fee and class supplies needed (or whatever you would do for any student taking the class). If she said no, then I would say, I'm sorry, but only people taking the class can attend.

I would try to leave it at that rather than give too many reasons, because determined people have a way of countering every reason. ("It's a distraction to have non-students there." "Oh, I won't be a distraction!") ("I try to limit the classes to six people." "So if the class isn't full, I can attend!"). But since sometimes it's unavoidable, the reasons I would focus on are the need to keep the class small and the need to have a strict policy on this to keep people from taking advantage.

Realize that her friend may want to drop the class if she's not going to be there.

You can't say this to her, but having her there will actually probably prevent her friend from meeting new people in the class.