This hurt my feelings
03-11-2010, 05:09 PM
#111
Member
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Florida
Posts: 97
If you've always sewn as well as quilted, the family will still ask you to mend, sew on buttons, etc. as if this process requires no effort, nevermind time. At this stage in my life, when my family asks me to fix something, I smile and say, "would you like me to show you how it's done?" If they say "yes" I give them a needle, thread, & button, etc. If they say, "No," then I say, no thank you. They always look stunned.
This SIL is clueless, so for her next birthday or gift-giving occasion, present her with nicely wrapped box containing a needle, thread, and quilt pattern, with a sweet message about how you so want to share with her how SHE too could say some money. Be sure it's a pattern that requires a whole lot of fabric. :lol:
This SIL is clueless, so for her next birthday or gift-giving occasion, present her with nicely wrapped box containing a needle, thread, and quilt pattern, with a sweet message about how you so want to share with her how SHE too could say some money. Be sure it's a pattern that requires a whole lot of fabric. :lol:
03-11-2010, 05:26 PM
#112
Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 48
It was taking my sewing machine to Georgia each time I visited my son and his family (he wanted me to mend his jeans) that my granddaughter begged to try running the machine. I gave her scraps and she put together a doll's blanket for her sister. Precious if no other description can be made. The next year we picked out coordinating material and made 2 pillowcases - one for her sister and one for her. The next summer they came to NY. She found my stash, the envy of many quilters. She brought 3 different purple hues and politely asked if she could make something from it. I asked her what she would like to make and pulled out some patterns I had set aside in anticipation of having a little more equipment and sources to teach her to sew. She decided to make a shoulder bag and learned to cut with rotary cutter, use a seam ripper, and sew. She was so attentive, I explained safety and she really listened. I am looking forward to the next time we get together. She completed her shoulder bag on her 11th birthday. Her sister is 5 so I have many sewing lessons to go. I learned to sew at my Mom's elbow and learned to make garments and to mend clothing. I was 1 of 10 children and we all worked hard in the barn and fields, keeping a 75 milking dairy farm going. I made my own wedding gown and maternity clothes before I ever quilted. If I din't paint a few garages along the way, I would never have had the opportunity to pass on my mother's passion. And my husband doesn't mind if I sew and build my stash as long as his jeans are mended, the house is passable, and the bills are paid. Sheesh
03-11-2010, 05:28 PM
#113
Member
Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 22
think of it as a compliment that you are saving money by making your gifts does it really matter what value she puts on what you do...and are there dollar signs around your reason for the making of this gift no so think of it as a compliment and let it go don't allow this burden to ride with you any longer....
03-11-2010, 05:28 PM
#114
Member
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Southwest Corner of Mississippi, USA
Posts: 80
:hunf: Well, tell her that when we married 51 years ago, my Mother in Law gave us three queen sized quilts. They were not fancy, nor one color, etc. made with good cotton fabric and batting, but totally useful. They are still around and doing their job, although a bit tattered. Now, consider the cost nowadays, divide it by 51 years. Not a bad investment. I tell folks this all the time.
03-11-2010, 05:52 PM
#115
Super Member
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Ohio
Posts: 1,299
I bet I know who won't be getting a quilt from you in the future!
I am a knitter and knit my own socks, one day at work I was mentioning a new pair of socks I had on and someone said, those are as nice as the store one, I said, No they aren't, they are better...
I am a knitter and knit my own socks, one day at work I was mentioning a new pair of socks I had on and someone said, those are as nice as the store one, I said, No they aren't, they are better...
03-11-2010, 06:18 PM
#116
Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Novato, California
Posts: 325
I totally understand! You can definitely cross her off your list ...No quilt for her made with love, dedication and hard work.
Originally Posted by pam1966
Yes, I got my feelings hurt. :roll: It was a remark that my SIL made. Bless her heart, she's pretty clueless, and I should consider the source, but it still upset me.
I was starting on a quilt for my mother. My SIL had come over to visit, and asked me what I was working on. So I told her. She then said to my dh, "At least she saves you money by making gifts!"
I didn't say a word. But what I wanted to say was....do you have any idea how much fabric costs nowadays? Not to mention all the time and effort that goes into this? I know you can trot on down to Bed Bath & Beyond and buy a comforter set on sale, yes I understand that. But for the money that a lot of quilts have in them (not counting our "labor")...we could go out and buy something in five minutes.
I guess it hurt me more because she didn't even consider the fact that I'm making this as a gift....something that I've made myself. My dh told me not to worry about it, that she takes after his mother and blurts out things without even thinking.
I know all this, but it still bugs me. :lol:
I was starting on a quilt for my mother. My SIL had come over to visit, and asked me what I was working on. So I told her. She then said to my dh, "At least she saves you money by making gifts!"
I didn't say a word. But what I wanted to say was....do you have any idea how much fabric costs nowadays? Not to mention all the time and effort that goes into this? I know you can trot on down to Bed Bath & Beyond and buy a comforter set on sale, yes I understand that. But for the money that a lot of quilts have in them (not counting our "labor")...we could go out and buy something in five minutes.
I guess it hurt me more because she didn't even consider the fact that I'm making this as a gift....something that I've made myself. My dh told me not to worry about it, that she takes after his mother and blurts out things without even thinking.
I know all this, but it still bugs me. :lol:
03-11-2010, 07:20 PM
#119
Super Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: N. Texas
Posts: 1,768
Originally Posted by Eddie
A lot of people feel that minimizing others somehow elevates themselves. Sadly, your SIL appears to be one of those. So sorry you experienced her like that.
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