Annaleehunter

I would never ask my MIL for money. She is so good to me!

BARES

I had a good relationship with my MIL. She once asked me to do the band uniforms for her last born (20 yrs younger than my hubby) and I did -- for nothing.

I would ask her to provide the material - she wanted specific kind, but if she couldn't afford that, then I would buy it for her. I never charged her for my work, but she would have paid me if I had.

If your time is especially limited - and she wants them right away, then I would charge her half of what you would charge anyone else.

butterflywing

if you're never invited, she never visits and she never sends xmas cards, then you're being underpaid because she's a stranger.
next time tell her you'd love to help but you're just so busy. let her try to underpay a different seamstress.

grammypatty7

If you are providing the materials, make up an itemized listing of supplies and show her what the materials cost so she'll reimburse you for that and if she wants to pay you more, she will. I personally wouldn't ask for anything beyond the cost of the materials.

grammypatty7

If you normally do sewing for a living or get paid for it, then I definitely you should charge your mother in law your normal hourly rate. She would have known you do this when she asked you and would expect you to include that in her payment to you. You don't want to give your services away for free but you could perhaps give her a break in the rate. It's a tough decision and one only you can make.

Give her an itemized statement which includes what your normal fee would be to your clients and see how it goes from there. If she opts not to pay for your time, that may be something you'll have to accept for the sake of your husband and family peace. I do know that in that situation, my mother in law would have paid me what others would pay and would feel offended if I tried not to allow her to do so; she's that kind of a lady.

Whenever I've done special projects for relatives and close friends for projects that I get a fee for from clients, they pay the bill in full with a check that day but within 5 days, I recieve a nice thank you note in the mail complimenting my job plus a bonus $50 or more check depending on the size of the project. I did cake decorating and using computer crafts accessorized anniversary parties, showers, etc.

In this instance, trust your instincts on how you feel your mother in law would respond. Mine would insist on paying for the materials plus my time for work others pay me to do. For work I don't get paid for, she would pay for the materials and that would be all I'd ask for.

sewcrafty

Is this your MIL or your son's MIL?

AnnaK

Is it possible that your MIL may want to pay you to help you and your husband out? There really are so many factors that you are probably the only one to make the right decision, since you know the background, history, dynamics of the relationship. You will make the right decision and how nice that your MIL likes and trusts your work enough to ask you.

suzeq

My Mother in law provided material, thread, buttons, etc. and I made her many dresses, one even had bound buttonholes in double knit! If it were me, I'd tell her the cost of supples, and that I spent ____ hours doing it. Then leave it at that. Always needs points with the Mother in Law. What a complement for her to ask you, or is she demanding? JMO. Silvia

grammypatty7

That's a whole other issue. Did she contact you as a business client or as extended family. As extended family, you honestly don't owe her anything and yes, she should pay you for your time, especially if she can afford to do it. This is one of those touchy situations though as you sure don't want to cause problems for your daughter. You're already working on it, so I'd finish them up but doubt I'd take on any of her projects in the future. Good luck and hope things work out well.

Normally when people ask me for a "favor," I do sit down with a contract spelling out what they are asking me to do, what they expect of me AND what I expect in return. If I really want to do, I make it easy to accept; if not, I usually word something such that they don't want me to do them this favor. For family and extended family, I do go the distance to make things work the first time though. If not, I make sure not to get in that situation again.

butterflywing

imo, she's an acquaintance, who thinks that she can expect favors although she is not a friend nor a relative. judging from what you said you usually charge, and what she has offered to pay you, you're not getting paid enough for your work. you're caught between a rock and a hard place now and however it gets worked out, try hard not to go there again. i'll bet she knows the going rates and that's why she came to you, who she doesn't invite to her house. be very, very busy the next time she asks for something or she'll keep taking advantage of your kindness.