I saved a quilt!
05-09-2013, 09:09 AM
#32
Power Poster
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Corpus Christi, Tx.
Posts: 16,105
I would have asked what was wrong with it and then asked him to quit beating around the bush. Maybe he had a bad history with your aunt you don't know about. If it was a scrappy quilt, many people are under the impression it was made from rags, even though we know differently. Every quilt has a history with a reason behind it. Many make quilts because they like the style. I've been back and forth with my family about things they like and don't. I take that information and run with it when I think about any gift to give them. There are some who get nothing because no matter what it is, the effort/ thought is never appreciated. They have complained in the past. Even a gift card is not enough (the easy way out not hardly. Not enough). If it were my brother just tell him what the dollar value would be.
05-09-2013, 09:10 AM
#33
Super Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 2,667
Sorry to hear about this!
When my daughter was 18, newly married, and totally clueless about quilts, my mother gave her the handpieced Lone Star that my grandmother made in the 1920's. The last time I saw it was in the trunk of her car with a couple of old batteries sitting on top of it. I told her how much I'd wanted that quilt over the years, but since my mother gave it to her, she should take better care of it. Never saw it again.
05-09-2013, 11:30 AM
#34
Super Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Homosassa, FL
Posts: 2,267
Nope, at first you don't appreciate, then forget it !!! My MIL made a king size for an idiot SIL . Beautiful hand made totally. When we went to visit about 4 or 5 months later . She had parked her van on top of it to catch the oil. She really didn't like to clean oil off the concrete. I could have cried.
and given her a tarp for under the van, or a big peice of cardboard.. Some poeple are so stupid it makes we wonder how they get through life.
05-09-2013, 12:42 PM
#35
Super Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Florida
Posts: 3,845
I'm encouraged to hear some reason and compassion finally coming through. Sometimes other people's actions really hurt! We have the choice of how we respond. We can only control ourselves. Your brother is valuable, precious. He's not you and aren't you glad.
Last night, "The Middle" had a scene about a gift of hippy style bright yellow jeans. Her response was hurtful. She'd told them what she wanted, why they picked bright yellow jeans, I don't know. She found a use for them, all rolled up behind her back in the chair at work. They still love her.
I agree with some of the posts. Ask him about his actions with aunt's quilt. Then if he still wants one from you, explain to him your feelings about making and giving him the quilt. Explain your hurt if he was to reject or abuse it. Then let him have a stake in it: pick out and pay for materials and pattern. Make this an opportunity to bond with you brother.
Last night, "The Middle" had a scene about a gift of hippy style bright yellow jeans. Her response was hurtful. She'd told them what she wanted, why they picked bright yellow jeans, I don't know. She found a use for them, all rolled up behind her back in the chair at work. They still love her.
I agree with some of the posts. Ask him about his actions with aunt's quilt. Then if he still wants one from you, explain to him your feelings about making and giving him the quilt. Explain your hurt if he was to reject or abuse it. Then let him have a stake in it: pick out and pay for materials and pattern. Make this an opportunity to bond with you brother.
05-10-2013, 04:53 AM
#37
Junior Member
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Windsor, Ontario, Canada
Posts: 144
Just my thoughts as I have seen a post similiar to this before...quilts and other home made gifts are not always appreciated by the recepiant as they should be...and it is hurtful when you have put so much time and effort into the project. I try to evaluate whether the person would appreciate a handmade item before gifting it. Perhaps as someone else suggested, he would appreciate something from you, made in his colors and your "style".
"We" have to remember, most other people don't live in a "quilting" world...they don't know the cost of materials, or where the local quilt shop is...just like I don't know how much golf clubs cost or where all the local golf courses are...
When I give something, I now "give" something...fully prepared that I cannot feel hurt if that person lets their dog use it as bedding. In saying that, I would only give something that involved a lot of work to someone who would treasure it.
"We" have to remember, most other people don't live in a "quilting" world...they don't know the cost of materials, or where the local quilt shop is...just like I don't know how much golf clubs cost or where all the local golf courses are...
When I give something, I now "give" something...fully prepared that I cannot feel hurt if that person lets their dog use it as bedding. In saying that, I would only give something that involved a lot of work to someone who would treasure it.
05-10-2013, 06:55 PM
#39
Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 619
Over 20 yrs ago when I was first getting into quilting I made my brother (and several others that year for Christmas presents) a quillow, easy, simple, kinda looked good from a distance but really very amateur, nothing special, not a heirloom. Ths is my half brother, we didn't grow up togeter, he didn't even know I exsisted until he was 10, we spent most of our lives 3000 miles apart. But I would visit when I could, not very often. Anyway, a few years after I gave him that quilt he left his wife of 30 yrs, and had carefully planned it by taking his personal things from the house that he wanted & hiding them before he told her he was leaving. At one of my visits he was telling me about this & said the first thing he took was that quilt! I was so shocked that he thought that much of it & even still had it.
So you just never know when something you give does mean something, when I see some of those quillows I made that year I cringe, they are really poorly made & ugly.
So you just never know when something you give does mean something, when I see some of those quillows I made that year I cringe, they are really poorly made & ugly.
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