lost, vanished or stolen ????
#41
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Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: formerly Chicago suburb now Mooresville,NC
Posts: 66
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When my Dad was in a nursing home I purchased a nice robe for him. It disappeared. I talked to a neighbor who worked in a NH and she suggested that we think thru anything that we are going to leave there. Not only the problem of things disappearing but also how things are laundered. She suggested that when we want to replace clothing we purchase things at a thrift store because we then know that things have been washed a number of times and all fading and shrinkage has been done. Of course the price of a polo shirt is so little there that if something goes missing it isn't a big expense. He too would "shop" other rooms and it wasn't unusual to find a flowered pink slipper next to a green plaid one in his closet. One resident even had someone elses dentures on their dresser. Never buy or bring anything that is of value and of course as has been said mark everything you can as conspicuously as possible. The care he got was wonderful and everything else was just "stuff". Visit often and make sure the staff knows who you are. Visit at different times and don't announce a visit, just arrive.
#43
Super Member
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: NW Wa
Posts: 1,549
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Sad but it happens a lot. My friend here owns the local quilt shop and had made her mom a few that fit her bed at the care center, and a couple disapeared.... only one has come back... she said my mom has 3 here so you can have a clean one for her and I expect to see them here, and I'd like that other one is returned too.
Hope your's comes back too.
ConnieF
Hope your's comes back too.
ConnieF
#44
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I'm so sorry that your quilt is gone. I hope that it turns up soon. It's so sad that our loved ones can't havce nice things in a care facility b/c they disappear. I understand about the laundering-clothing needs to be able to be really clean. and then comfort is important too. but there shouldn't be the fear that the resident can't have anything nice b/c it walks away is really sad. My great aunt was in a Nh and her glasses disappeared-how do you mark them? that was the problem. then there was the resident that collected everyones dentures and kept them in their drawer. Imagine the fun the staff had trying to find the rightful owners froma whole drawer full of teeth!
#46
Super Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 1,789
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Originally Posted by illinois
I knitted an afghan for my mother's birthday while she was in a nursing home. When I went to transfer her to a different facility, the afghan was nowhere to be found. I walked up and down the halls, glancing in each room to see if it had gone traveling. Nothing. I went to every nurses' station inquiring where the afghan could be. They checked linen closets, even went to laundry, but no afghan. Strange--it showed up on her bed in the new facility a couple of weeks later! I assume it went home with one of the workers at home #1 and somebody got a guilty conscience. Thank goodness!
#47
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I made my mom a quilt after she had to go to a nursing home. Though I put her name on the label I thought that if someone wanted it bad enough they could just remove it, so when I machine quilted it I actually quilted her first and last name into the meander quilting on the borders. It's not noticeable and yet it's easily found if you're looking for it. As long as it's not removed from the residence I can find it and always prove it's hers.
#49
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Originally Posted by QuiltE
Sadly there are some not so good stories out there.
Gladly there are many good stories to be shared. And families who have been thankful for an interim home for their loved ones and the caring staff who made all their lives easier. Not everyone has the option to stay in their homes, and not every family has the ability to provide in-home care.
Let's not paint all care facilities with one brush stroke.
Remember bad news sells ... and unfortunately, not all the good news stories are shared as far and wide.
Gladly there are many good stories to be shared. And families who have been thankful for an interim home for their loved ones and the caring staff who made all their lives easier. Not everyone has the option to stay in their homes, and not every family has the ability to provide in-home care.
Let's not paint all care facilities with one brush stroke.
Remember bad news sells ... and unfortunately, not all the good news stories are shared as far and wide.
Try to remember that it isn’t always the staff taking things. I don’t know about the rest of the country but here in FL if you steal from an elder you go to jail if it's a nickel. There were employees who did steal where I worked and it is hard to figure out who it is (the PD should be notified.) Generally it’s the last one(s) recently hired. It makes me angry that anyone could ever do something so awful to an elder at a time they need love and care the most.
Some residents take things. Alzheimer’s patients do this because like a sweet child they take what they want, they don’t know any better. There are times too where the resident themselves may misplace their things, especially if they have Alzheimer’s (you could find a pair of glasses in the fridge or food hidden.) However, as I mentioned in an earlier post some residents take things when they don’t have Alzheimer’s.
Not all assisted living facilities have employees who steal, it just takes one bad apple.
The honest and loving employees don’t want this happening anymore than the resident or their family.
It shouldn’t be this way but when the family is involved by visiting regularly their loved one sometimes gets better care. They don’t want complaints from family members. If you feel that your loved one is being abused or neglected approach the director/owner/decision maker immediately. Try to get the issue resolved at this level. They may not be aware of the problem an employee or other resident is creating. If this doesn’t help contact your umbudsman (there is no charge for this.) An umbudsman’s job is to protect our elders and they take their job seriously. No facility wants an umbudsman going in but they must allow them access to everything. The exception is to the resident’s medical records (in FL) and if permission is given by the resident or family member (who has power of attorney or guardianship) then they must supply this info too.
One thing to watch for in an Alzheimer’s patient is sudden weight loss, it must be reported to the residents Dr. immediately. Sometimes it means the patient is having a hard time using their eating utensils and the staff can cut their food ahead of time for them in the back (preserving their dignity) or offering them finger foods.
When I worked for an assisted living facility I cared about the residents, their happiness and their health.
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