Originally Posted by Scrap Happy

I agree with you whole heartedly. Not all families are prepared mentally, physically or financially to take care of their loved one and this does not mean they don’t love or care about their loved one. Caregiving is 24/7. Some facilities provide excellent and loving care. If you ever have to look into one try to look beyond the flowers and decore. Also look to see how the staff interacts with the residents. Are the residents smiling, talking and interacting with each other and staff? Or are all of them plopped in front of a TV all day? What kind of activities do they have for the residents? Ask a resident how they enjoy living there. If you place a loved one in a facility visit at different times of the day & night. If you stop by every day at noon to have lunch with your loved one surprise them with a 7 am or 8 pm visit.

Try to remember that it isn’t always the staff taking things. I don’t know about the rest of the country but here in FL if you steal from an elder you go to jail if it's a nickel. There were employees who did steal where I worked and it is hard to figure out who it is (the PD should be notified.) Generally it’s the last one(s) recently hired. It makes me angry that anyone could ever do something so awful to an elder at a time they need love and care the most.

Some residents take things. Alzheimer’s patients do this because like a sweet child they take what they want, they don’t know any better. There are times too where the resident themselves may misplace their things, especially if they have Alzheimer’s (you could find a pair of glasses in the fridge or food hidden.) However, as I mentioned in an earlier post some residents take things when they don’t have Alzheimer’s.

Not all assisted living facilities have employees who steal, it just takes one bad apple.

The honest and loving employees don’t want this happening anymore than the resident or their family.
It shouldn’t be this way but when the family is involved by visiting regularly their loved one sometimes gets better care. They don’t want complaints from family members. If you feel that your loved one is being abused or neglected approach the director/owner/decision maker immediately. Try to get the issue resolved at this level. They may not be aware of the problem an employee or other resident is creating. If this doesn’t help contact your umbudsman (there is no charge for this.) An umbudsman’s job is to protect our elders and they take their job seriously. No facility wants an umbudsman going in but they must allow them access to everything. The exception is to the resident’s medical records (in FL) and if permission is given by the resident or family member (who has power of attorney or guardianship) then they must supply this info too.

One thing to watch for in an Alzheimer’s patient is sudden weight loss, it must be reported to the residents Dr. immediately. Sometimes it means the patient is having a hard time using their eating utensils and the staff can cut their food ahead of time for them in the back (preserving their dignity) or offering them finger foods.

When I worked for an assisted living facility I cared about the residents, their happiness and their health.

Originally Posted by kaykwilts

Sorry, I didn't mean to stir up feelings that I was knocking anyone who makes the choice to place a loved one in a nursing home or assisted living center. I was simply stating my personal preference. Medical care to extend ones life is a choice, and a very personal decision to make. If I would choose to not allow medical care that would extend my life where living meant going to a nursing/assisted living home, that remains my choice. As long as my wishes are spelled out clearly in advance, as long as my children understand this, and as long as I am of sound mind to make that decision, then I expect my children to respect my wishes.

I have no doubt that my children honoring my wishes would be a difficult choice on their part.

I have no doubt that there are a lot of really caring, good people who work with the elderly.

I have no doubt that most of them want to see the elderly treated with kindness and dignity.

And I agree...bad news sells and travels faster.

I am just stating my personal preference in the matter.

Originally Posted by QuiltE

KayKwilts ... I totally respect your wish and desire to stay in your home.

The truth is that sometimes, no matter how much a family wants to respect their loved ones wishes, it is not within their ability to do so.

Sometimes the required care is not available in a personal home situation.
Sometimes controlled meds/narcotics are required, and cannot be given outside of controlled environments.
Sometimes the family members despite their good intents, are not meant to be caregivers, and would give care that would be truly classed as abuse.
And more .....

And yes, all things are possible, within the home environment, for a fee. Sadly, many do not have the financial ability to provide in that way.

And please remember, as I said above, I do respect your desire.

What I am trying to do is to put forth a balanced perspective of some of the other issues in this matter. I've only touched on a few ... and know there are so many more points that could be brought forth.