My Darling? Husband
01-19-2011, 06:34 AM
#31
Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Texas
Posts: 957
When I started quilting, I have to admit, I was somewhat obsessive about it. I had to go to my sewing room everyday after dinner and sew for at least 2 hours. DH didn't like that too much. He's very clingy (I'm not) and complains that we don't spend enough time together. We do share love of fishing so we do that, but he has no other hobbies except hunting wich I don't like. So, after dinner, he sits in front of the TV.
After several years, the obsession has worn off and I don't quilt or sew everyday. I only tackle challenging projects or quilt for the kids/grandkids upon request or for a special occasion. He does still complain every now and then when I am in my sewing mode, but I try to balance which is sometimes very difficult. Quilting makes me happy and I guess he considers it a rival. I think he doesn't understand the concept that people don't necessarily make you happy and that you can find happiness within yourself.
After several years, the obsession has worn off and I don't quilt or sew everyday. I only tackle challenging projects or quilt for the kids/grandkids upon request or for a special occasion. He does still complain every now and then when I am in my sewing mode, but I try to balance which is sometimes very difficult. Quilting makes me happy and I guess he considers it a rival. I think he doesn't understand the concept that people don't necessarily make you happy and that you can find happiness within yourself.
01-19-2011, 06:43 AM
#33
Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Ft. Myers, Florida
Posts: 928
I too have one that resents my time quilting, of course when it comes to his hobbies (currently, hog hunting) well that's okay. I'm glad he goes out sometimes at night so I can quilt a bit without the pouting and snide remarks. Of course when his son paid me the highest compliment by asking if I would make him a quilt (2 weeks before Christmas) he was all for me making that one :) Men.......try to figure them out
01-19-2011, 06:55 AM
#34
Senior Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 920
Originally Posted by Sing
Dianne - Have you asked him "why?" in a gentle tone? It sounds like he is projecting something onto you. Did his mother engage in something where he felt left out and neglected?
I don't sew everyday.. As long as I am in the kitchen cooking ..or cleaning it doesn't matter if I am sitting with him or not...He just doesn't like the sewing??? But like I said if a friend of his or someone at work is having a baby he wants me to make something... Can't figure it out???
01-19-2011, 07:05 AM
#35
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Central PA
Posts: 39
Funny this just came up as a topic. I have been on a quilting craze lately (I have a quilt I want completed), so things around the house have been left go a little. I just asked my husband last night if he minded my quilting. He said it didn't bother him! I am so thankful for that. He has even taken my quilts to work to show his coworkers!
01-19-2011, 07:16 AM
#37
Super Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Desert Hot Springs Ca
Posts: 2,633
I agree with TDGiffin, tell him to turn off the TV and take you out to dinner if he wants to spend time with you. Sorry you have to deal with this, men can be so childish sometimes. I once had a lover who got mad every time I did a jig saw puzzle. Sad
01-19-2011, 07:26 AM
#40
Junior Member
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: currently in VA
Posts: 258
Originally Posted by Shelbie
No you are definately not alone. My husband hates all of my stitching even though he was well aware that sewing and quilting were part of who I am before I even married him thirty five years ago. My sewing room is next to the family room with the TV and he frequently complains that I won't come out and "sit" with him. I seldom watch TV, can't stand most shows and hate sitting in the semi-dark. I also resent spending time with nothing to show for it. We've finally come to an "understanding", I stitch, he watches TV and we never will agree on the subject. I've also warned my daughters if anything happens to me, to come and rescue my quilting treasures and stash as I'm sure he would just call our son with his dump truck and haul it all to the landfill. Other than the dislike (hate) of my quilting, he is a really nice guy.
My husband doesn't "hate" my quilting, cross stitching, scrapbooking BUT he does love for me to just sit and watch TV with him which I cannot stand. Don't get me wrong - I have some TV shows I enjoy watching but he has the TV on all day, all night for the sake of having it on.
We're kind of in an unusual position right now. He's active duty Navy but right now he really doesn't have a "job". We're waiting on paperwork from the Navy. In the meantime, he literally only goes to work 2x a week to "check in" - I'm lucky if he goes 2x a week. Otherwise he's home. He makes little use of his time. He wants me to sit on the couch all day, all night. We're going through what I guess many go thru when husbands really retire like in their 60's - problem is we are only in our 40's. He's driving me crazy!
Anyway - I've finally learned to just tune him out. I come upstairs and do my stuff. In the evenings I've been taking my cross stitch downstairs so when we're watching TV (even when I don't want to) I'm at least getting something done. I've finished one project already and am starting another UFO cross stitch tonight.
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