My husband just doesnt understand
10-14-2011, 03:06 PM
#91
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Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Somewhere
Posts: 15,506
Originally Posted by Karen Powell
My husband just doesnt get it. He doenst see the value in what I do. Sewing is like breathing for me. Fabric runs through my hands like water. I do sew custom professhionaly and it is my job . Has been for many years. We built an addition for a sewing studieo 10 years ago and I is still sitting full of junk un finished. I do window treatments, cornice boards, custom bedding , slipcovers ... You name I have made it. What the heck ! I feel so let down. Frustrated to tears ? ? ? What is a woman to do ? Any one ?
10-14-2011, 03:35 PM
#93
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Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 17,858
Originally Posted by auniqueview
Originally Posted by Scrappy Gram
Tell him it will be a tax deduction - if you earn income from using your studio in your home, a portion of all home expenses can be deducted as business expenses. Sometimes you can only get a man's attention by mentioning $$$.
And....I would think pink, at least for a little while. Pink seems to drive men off, lol. Put up some nice pink curtains by the tv, pink pillows on the chair, pink, pink, pink.
10-14-2011, 05:34 PM
#94
Super Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Galveston Texas
Posts: 1,596
Originally Posted by Karen Powell
I think he hopes I will just give up and forget about it. I have continually invested it the things I need to establish my studieo hoping he see how important it is to me. I guess I could by pass him up and do it my self. I love him and dont want him to feel disrespected. But I am ready to move on or out is that to drastic. I have even suggested buying a cheep building. where I could creat and run a boothing business. So the ladies could come in and rent space to have there dream mini antique shop. And wouldnt we all love to do that. So seriouly feeling traped.
If the walls are ready to paint, get some girl friends or a painter to paint the walls, you have a floor, so start moving your stuff in to the room. Put the "junk" in the garage or where ever. You have let him dilly dally for 10 years, you gave him his chance, now it is your time. When he sees that you are serious, he may start to help. Good Luck and go for it.
10-14-2011, 05:44 PM
#95
Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Spring Branch, Texas
Posts: 981
Originally Posted by Karen Powell
I think he hopes I will just give up and forget about it. I have continually invested it the things I need to establish my studieo hoping he see how important it is to me. I guess I could by pass him up and do it my self. I love him and dont want him to feel disrespected. But I am ready to move on or out is that to drastic. I have even suggested buying a cheep building. where I could creat and run a boothing business. So the ladies could come in and rent space to have there dream mini antique shop. And wouldnt we all love to do that. So seriouly feeling traped.
10-14-2011, 05:50 PM
#96
Junior Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Dallas
Posts: 104
It sounds like you have been VERY patient with him - and the room not being finished. Start emptying the room, and when he asks what you are doing, just say ever so sweetly that you are going to have the room finished and going to use it for sewing as planned when the project had been started. Set a date for your first class ( that will give you incentive to get things finished)
GOOD LUCK!! YOU CAN DO IT!!!! :>)
GOOD LUCK!! YOU CAN DO IT!!!! :>)
10-14-2011, 06:16 PM
#97
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Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Port Charlotte, Fl
Posts: 2,569
Don't feel bad your not alone. Some people just don't get it but don't discuss the TV or fishing because that's a whole different story it's just something they do and it's important but I appreciate all the things you do it's hard work some of it and we can sell our crafts etc. or take care of our own home. However you do know we'll never win with them so come here and we'll help you feel better. Sue
10-14-2011, 06:17 PM
#98
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Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Lowell, MA
Posts: 14,083
First, men choose not to understand, it's not your fault. If he won't step up to the plate to complete the room, hire somone to do it. If the space was intended as a studio, it should be a studio and don't let him disrespect you. Ask him how he would feel if you did to him what he did to you. Don't let him bully you. You have worth, you run a business and you need a place for that business to operate. I'm rooting for you.
10-14-2011, 06:40 PM
#99
Super Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Beautiful Briery Mountain in WV
Posts: 2,551
I love the junk vs TV analogy, I'll have to remember that one. And I agree with Proverbs 31:10-12. I'd like to hope this Board saves more relationships than it breaks up.
As for me and my house, my DH is very attached to anything that was his grandmother's or his mother's so we have multi-generational junk! (Of course I do have a very crowded sewing room myself so....) I should have know he was a pack rat when we got married. He still had every single single note we had ever passed to each other in high school! (I threw mine away so as to avoid any evidence before I got home from school.)
And I try to remember, when I point the finger at someone else there are four more pointed back at me.
As for me and my house, my DH is very attached to anything that was his grandmother's or his mother's so we have multi-generational junk! (Of course I do have a very crowded sewing room myself so....) I should have know he was a pack rat when we got married. He still had every single single note we had ever passed to each other in high school! (I threw mine away so as to avoid any evidence before I got home from school.)
And I try to remember, when I point the finger at someone else there are four more pointed back at me.
10-14-2011, 08:04 PM
#100
Super Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 1,284
I think I would make a list of what has to be done and what has to be purchased and then inform, do not ask permission, your husband that you are going to the hardware store, if he asks, then tell him what for, if he doesn't, don't volunteer it. When you get home, you tell him that tomorrow you are going to start on your 1/2 and you will be working on it until it's done. If he isn't in there helping you, get one of your girl friends, we actually can accomplish a lot! Then just make sure all his stuff is on his side and insist that he get ear plugs for the TV so you won't interupt his viewing with you hammering etc.. If he doesn't spring in to action to defend all of mankind then just continue on and be proud of what you do, if he makes some comment about it not being right you just smile and say, well yes, you sure could have used his help and ask him where he was? Smile a lot!! And be truly happy over your accomplishment. If on the other had you can afford to have it done, without it being seen as a personal attack by your husband, then hire it done. Make your husband one of the best meals you can and all through the meal tell him how excited you are about getting it finished! Tell him it's the best present EVER! You could throw in how much he loves you to be letting you get it done...tell him dessert will be served in another room of the house...stuff like that. How could he then feel any need to stop the progress! LOL Sometimes you have to play what you have.
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