My husband just doesnt understand
10-13-2011, 09:25 AM
#31
Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 488
You have made it too easy for him, He has what he wanted a big flat scene TV. Move it out!! anf move things out that don't pretain to yout business. Mke it into your studio, It does't have to be perfect!! It has to be YOURS!!!! Tinker
10-13-2011, 09:25 AM
#32
Senior Member
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Columbus, Ohio
Posts: 521
Find a nice spot somewhere else for his TV and chair and move it for him. Then hire the rest done for yourself. Sometimes they need a little more than a nudge! I doubt he really cares where his stuff is, as long as he's not responsible for getting it there and can just plop down. You are a patient and kind woman....!!
10-13-2011, 09:26 AM
#33
Super Member
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: central NC
Posts: 1,095
Seeing the title 'my husband just doesn't..." prompted this and hopefully you have started feeling better, but Zillslady has made a good case for identifying what YOU are doing and who you are. A while ago DH thought he was doing me a favor by moving the large screen TV to my sewing room so we "could spend some time together". (this translated to noise, picking up his snacks, etc for me) What he didn't know was that I felt like he was taking over my space, he eventually moved it back to the living room but if your DH maybe thinks the same way, perhaps he is trying to be close to you?? You know him better than anyone else, maybe you already know what the answer is??
Originally Posted by Zhillslady
don't feel required to have someone else validate you. You are the daughter of the most high King and that makes you a princess. You have talents and dreams. So some things go unfinished. We all have that. You are doing what you enjoy for a living and things get done when they get done.
10-13-2011, 10:00 AM
#34
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 39
We lost my brother 3 years ago day before thanksgiving a fatel head trauma. We donated his eyes and all soft tissues usable. He was in Icu 4 day till he went to palative care. I hope your son recieves the gift of sight.Thanksgiving is always shadowed by this tragedy. Fall use to be my favorite time of year. But not so much any more. He would have turned 53 that dec 14th. in stead of Thanksgiving we had a funeral. SAD
What are your best tips for putting a work room togeather. I am gathering the best ideas I can. I am going to move forward with my unfinished work sewing space. 10 years is long enough. God bless
What are your best tips for putting a work room togeather. I am gathering the best ideas I can. I am going to move forward with my unfinished work sewing space. 10 years is long enough. God bless
10-13-2011, 10:37 AM
#35
Super Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Piedmont Virginia in the Foothills of the Blue Ridge Mtns.
Posts: 8,562
Originally Posted by Karen Powell
....I guess I could by pass him up and do it my self. I love him and dont want him to feel disrespected. ....So seriouly feeling traped.
Change your thinking thus change your actions. If you can't afford to have someone in to finish the room, then "bargain" with your DH (D up for interpretation here!) by going halfway on things he's come to count on you for.
His laundry - get it to the machine, soap added, but not started;
his dinner - set out what was to be made, do what you can that won't be too costly to waste, then stop before finishing; gas the car with only a couple gallons;
if you pay the bills - write the checks but don't put them in the envelops or stamp them;
vacuum one room and leave the vacuum in the middle of the floor;
same with cleaning the bathroom, etc.;
think of things you can do halfway that will get his attention.
I feel for you, been there done that, and am now divorced. :(
I don't reccomend that recourse, but getting his attention is definitely in order. What if you asked some other DH to help you!
Jan in VA
10-13-2011, 10:42 AM
#37
Super Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: USA
Posts: 1,625
Well if you can how about finishing your studio yourself. There are so many do it yourself books and online resorces that you can learn to do most of it yourself. If you feel that is beyond your talent and the hubby doesn't get it, if you can hire someone. I'm sure there are handyman's in you area who could do it for a reasonable cost. Until them just keep up what your doing.
I feel you pain though, my husband doesn't get it either. He told me one day that he hadn't seen a finished quilt so I must not be doing more than buying fabric. I told him I prefer the peicing of the tops to the actual quilting, but their are tops finished in my sewing room.
I feel you pain though, my husband doesn't get it either. He told me one day that he hadn't seen a finished quilt so I must not be doing more than buying fabric. I told him I prefer the peicing of the tops to the actual quilting, but their are tops finished in my sewing room.
10-13-2011, 10:53 AM
#38
Super Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 1,143
Tell him it would be a Great Christmas present. 10 yrs is way to long to wait. He should understand you.. You do this for a living and really need that space. I sure hope he gets it finished for you really soon. Do you have sons that could help ? Wishing you luck.
10-13-2011, 11:06 AM
#40
Power Poster
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 15,639
Love is give and take. Sounds like you are giving and he is taking.
Why do you allow him to be so inconsiderate? Take charge! You are woman! Stand by your word and stand up for yourself.
I would do the work myself (but then I am into DIY).
1. Add a lock to the door.
2. Move his crap out. If he doesn't like it - he will find a place AND IT WON'T BE PUTTING IT BACK IN YOUR ROOM!
3. Find a way to get the room fixed up. Can you enlist the help of a friend?
4. While you are doing this, I would go on household duty strike. No cooking, no laundry, other than my own.
Even my sweet man had to learn some of these lessons the hard way. He is as tame as a pussycat now because he KNOWS that I can let the B**** out any time.
Why do you allow him to be so inconsiderate? Take charge! You are woman! Stand by your word and stand up for yourself.
I would do the work myself (but then I am into DIY).
1. Add a lock to the door.
2. Move his crap out. If he doesn't like it - he will find a place AND IT WON'T BE PUTTING IT BACK IN YOUR ROOM!
3. Find a way to get the room fixed up. Can you enlist the help of a friend?
4. While you are doing this, I would go on household duty strike. No cooking, no laundry, other than my own.
Even my sweet man had to learn some of these lessons the hard way. He is as tame as a pussycat now because he KNOWS that I can let the B**** out any time.
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