Now I know the reason for being a Fabricholic!!!!!
06-16-2012, 11:38 PM
#1
Senior Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Posts: 753
Now I know the reason for being a Fabricholic!!!!!
Chemical Warning
A recent study indicated that fabric gives off certain Pheromones that actually
hypnotize women and cause them to purchase unreasonable amounts. When
stored in large quantities in enclosed spaces, the Pheromones (in the fabric) causes memory loss and induces the nesting syndrome (similar to the one squirrels have before the onset of winter i.e. storing food). Therefore perpetuating their species and not having a population loss due to their kind being cut into pieces and mixed with others.
Sound tests have also revealed that these fabrics emit a very high pitched sound, heard only by a select few, a breed of women know as quilters. When played backwards on an LP, the sounds are heard as chants, buy me, cut me and sew me. In order to overcome the so called feeding frenzy effect that these fabrics cause, one must wear a face mask when entering a storage facility and use ear plugs to avoid being pulled into their grip. One must laugh, however, at the sight of customers in a quilt fabric store, with WWII army gas masks and headphones!
Studies have also indicated that aliens have inhabited the earth, helping to spread the effects that these fabrics have on the human population. They are called QUILT FABRIC STORE CLERKS. It's also been experienced that these same Pheromones cause a pathological need to hide these fabric purchases when taken home (or at least blend them into the existing stash), and when asked by significant other if the fabric is new, the reply is I've had it for awhile.
Has anyone else been affected like I have (LOL)!!!!
Maus
A recent study indicated that fabric gives off certain Pheromones that actually
hypnotize women and cause them to purchase unreasonable amounts. When
stored in large quantities in enclosed spaces, the Pheromones (in the fabric) causes memory loss and induces the nesting syndrome (similar to the one squirrels have before the onset of winter i.e. storing food). Therefore perpetuating their species and not having a population loss due to their kind being cut into pieces and mixed with others.
Sound tests have also revealed that these fabrics emit a very high pitched sound, heard only by a select few, a breed of women know as quilters. When played backwards on an LP, the sounds are heard as chants, buy me, cut me and sew me. In order to overcome the so called feeding frenzy effect that these fabrics cause, one must wear a face mask when entering a storage facility and use ear plugs to avoid being pulled into their grip. One must laugh, however, at the sight of customers in a quilt fabric store, with WWII army gas masks and headphones!
Studies have also indicated that aliens have inhabited the earth, helping to spread the effects that these fabrics have on the human population. They are called QUILT FABRIC STORE CLERKS. It's also been experienced that these same Pheromones cause a pathological need to hide these fabric purchases when taken home (or at least blend them into the existing stash), and when asked by significant other if the fabric is new, the reply is I've had it for awhile.
Has anyone else been affected like I have (LOL)!!!!
Maus
06-17-2012, 05:16 AM
#5
Super Member
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Northern California
Posts: 2,644
I knew it!!! I have told my LQS that my car is in cahoots with the fabric - I cannot drive by the quilt store without stopping - its not me - its my car - it automatically pulls over and parks when there is fabric nearby. (Thats my story and I am sticking with it 
).
).
06-17-2012, 06:51 AM
#10
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 17
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