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-   -   Am I a meanie? (https://www.quiltingboard.com/main-f1/am-i-meanie-t213711.html)

IshtarsMom 02-14-2013 11:20 AM

Love all the responses and agree...no guilt...While feeling defensive for you and others my devil mind made me think of the barter system...only not pies... Seems like all those who ask should be willing to give something of themselves too.

Maybe she and others could:

Buy all the materials needed to make the quilt

Show up at your house to work hour for hour...had visions of the toothbrush and tile grout cleaner...windows and patio door glass, cleaning, polishing furniture and cabinets, raking leaves, cleaning flower beds... the list could be endless. If she doesn't show up...you don't sew..she'd already spent her money on materials...

BTW how slow can you sew? LOL

GailG 02-14-2013 11:56 AM

I haven't read all of the posts -- many classy ones, to say the least. But auntpiggylpn, JulieR, bigredharley, and winia -- you take the cake.:D And I totally agree with all of you!

quiltin-nannie 02-14-2013 11:57 AM

You gals are great! I'm over the not making the quilt guilt. You know, even if someone wanted to pay me $500 to make a baby quilt, I would say no. I had enough pressure running medical offices for 30 years. This is my relaxation. I make quilts because I want them for me or to give to someone special. I worked for years and couldn't wait till I could retire and do what I wanted; now I'm there and enjoying every minute. I love the feeling when I see how excited a loved one, friend or family, is to receive one of my creations. Thanks for all the support!

loriea 02-14-2013 12:25 PM


Originally Posted by quiltin-nannie (Post 5858080)
I have been asked a couple times to make quilts for people. After doing a table runner for a lady I have decided I don't want to"have" to make something for someone. One lady said "you paid thousands of dollars for that machine
and you can't make me a baby quilt for my great grandaughter?" Should I feel so guilty for saying no?

Do you feel you. Need to cook a meal for her since you probably spent lots of $ on a stove, frig, cookware etc?

watson's mom 02-14-2013 12:38 PM

I DID pay thousands of dollars for each one of my machines...for ME to use for myself. There are plenty of brand spanking new machines in any number of stores. Buy a machine and teach yourself to quilt just like I had to do. If that makes me a meanie, so be it. I do, however, make quilts and other items for family members.

quilt3311 02-14-2013 02:09 PM

Don't feel guilty, if someone really wants a quilt, suggest they get the fabric and do it themselves. OR look around their house, say OH you have a nice stove, it must have cost you a bundle, how about cooking dinner for me? case made?

cr12cats 02-14-2013 02:13 PM

NONONO!!! Never. I learned along time ago to just tell them I will help pick out a simple pattern and tell them how much of what material they need but then they need to shop the fabrics they want and I will help them to do it. So far i've had no takers. seems it is okay for someone else to donate their time and materials for them free for some reason. but i figure is it was that important to them they would go out and get the supplies and try. anyone will take anything for free. I don't understand their idea that they should get everything free and done for them, I sure wasn't raised that way. I agree with those above they sure have nerve and they are the ones who should feel quilty for expecting that way. besides it doesn't matter how much the machine was it doesn't run itself or have the knowledge of how to do a pattern together. what are these people thinking? just enjoy your machine and do what makes you happy. like they said above she isn't paying the bills at your house. and i'm thinking you bought the machine for your enjoyment not everyone else on the block.

meanmom 02-14-2013 02:20 PM

If you really feel that guilty(which you shouldn't), figure out about how many hours it would take to make. Even at minimum wage I would bet she can't afford your expensive machine. I get a lot of requests for quilts. I do what I want. Sometimes I do it sometimes I dont. No reason to feel guilty, it is your time and your machine. This isn't your job.

MimiBug123 02-14-2013 02:24 PM

DO NOT feel guilty! When you feel that you "have" to do something, it ceases to be fun. A non-quilter has no idea what goes into making a quilt. I'll bet if you offer to "help" her make it, that will be the end of that idea! It never ceases to amaze me that some people feel like you should just drop everything to make something for them--for free. Explain that your quilting is a hobby, not a job.

Friday1961 02-14-2013 03:02 PM


Originally Posted by quiltin-nannie (Post 5858080)
I have been asked a couple times to make quilts for people. After doing a table runner for a lady I have decided I don't want to"have" to make something for someone. One lady said "you paid thousands of dollars for that machine
and you can't make me a baby quilt for my great grandaughter?" Should I feel so guilty for saying no?

Well, personally, I'd NEVER make anything for her. It's not her business how much you paid or what you do with it and certainly not to "guilt" you into doing something simply because she wants you to. It's your machine, you paid for it, and unless someone else has a financial interest in it--and in your time--he or she has nothing to say about what you do on it. Frankly, I can't imagine her nerve! DO NOT feel guilty!


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