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#1piecemaker 02-04-2011 03:43 AM

What he doen't know, won't hurt him. Just explain that the fabric is an investment in your future and he'll just have to trust you. Never divulge how much you paid. Just give him your name, rank and serial number.

supergma 02-04-2011 05:16 AM

Could be only the tip of the iceberg. Maybe he thinks you spend too much time in the sewing room and not enough with him. Men, who can figure them out?

stitchofclass2 02-04-2011 07:09 AM

This kind of situation can be daunting. I guess on a lighter note, I would remind him that the fabric is much, much less expensive than a psychiatrist. This is your way of doing something that you love and worthwhile. Something that keeps you grounded when things are falling apart all around you. If he is not working right now, he probably has too much time on his hands and is concerned about finances. Fabric may seem frivolous but, of course, it is not. It really is a thread to our sanity. Good luck.

Bottle Blonde 02-04-2011 07:24 AM

I brag about my bargains to hubby! He busted me organizing my stash and made a few comments. Now I tell him exactly how much I spend - sale price I paid vs. regular price - what I plan to do with it (even if it is stash) and I explained that I didn't buy all that stuff at one time - it tooks years to collect all that fabric. He will go with me to the LQS (I go with him to the hardware store.....) so he does have a clue about the prices. Sometimes he will help me find what I'm looking for and I educate him about quilting at the same time. So - my advice is try to get your DH involved (even just a tiny bit) and he may be more understanding if he thinks he is part of your quilting world. My DH calmed down once he knew I had been buying all that fabric over time - not last week! LOL

Quilter Day-by-Day 02-04-2011 07:30 AM

LOL Tell him I got have fabric to use with this new machine that you got me.

baskets4moo 02-04-2011 07:56 AM

My deepest sympathies (sp?), been there, done that. My dh continually points out my overflowing stash closets. I've found the best response to be "with the fast rising prices of fabric, particularly cotton & everything else in general, be happy I've filled my closets already". And then be sure to not let him see any new additions to your stash, infiltrate them very quietly.

clem55 02-04-2011 07:57 AM


Originally Posted by PatriceJ
ok. no way i'm taking sides here. just some food for thought that might or might not apply to your specific situation.

once we start thinking in terms of hiding our purchases vs. cutting back on our purchases, aren't we admitting to ourselves that we're doing something we either know is definitely not right, or that is probably wrong?

isn't it better to sit down with the financial partner for an open, honest conversation? mutual agreements and ground "rules"? compromise and adaptation might be necessary, but wouldn't that be less stressful than having to hide and worry?

I agree with Patrice. Tomorrow I will have been married for 56 years. There were a lot of lean years in the beginning, and buying was a big deal, for both of us. We learned early that just because we liked something, didn"t mean we had to have it. We learned to budget and we made decisions together about any purchases. All these years later, we don't have those problems, but we still talk expenditures over with each other, at least any big ones. I have never been denied anything I really wanted, nor he, but the idea that I would have to hide things from him, or fib about it, goes against the grain. If I see fabric or notions on sale and I think it is a good deal, I just tell him, and off we go to the store. There are times when I'm not up to the walking that he has even gone to get something for me. You all may hate me for this comment, but I am amazed at how large a stash most of you have. At times it seems that you buy for the sake of buying, not because you really need it. Either that, or you plan to live a long time and make a quilt a week. I do have fabric on hand, I'm not beyond an occasional splurge, but to have walls full seems overdone. I most definitly would sit down with your hubby and talk about this. If it is really troubling him, it needs to be worked out . Marriage isn"t all me or all you, it is an US!

wvdek 02-04-2011 08:20 AM

Woohoo! Clemm55 and Patrice, I am with you gals all the way. I do not nor can I understand hiding, 'fibbing', coercing, etc your mate. I am married 37 years and this is the most lean it has ever been for us.
I am too busy going to school F/T to even quilt right now, but I have not made a fabric purchase in over 4 months or more. Quite simply we cannot afford it no matter how much I may want it. DH would figure out some way for me to have it if I really wanted it, but why when I have more than enough already and no time to make anything until I am graduated and in a nice paying nursing job? I can wait.

Deborah12687 02-04-2011 08:29 AM

I will never get busted as my hubby doesn't really care how much I spend on my quilting hobby or other hobbies. It makes me feel good that I don't have to hide things from my hubby and I am aware of when to stop buying.

catrancher 02-04-2011 09:14 AM

When I retired, I told my husband I wanted a monthly allowance deposited to a separate checking account for me to spend however I want to. We agreed on an amount, and started doing it. That way, I can feed my hobbies, and he knows I won't break the bank. It helps me keep to a budget too. It's one of the best ideas i've had for avoiding conflict.


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