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I prefer to know what a person wants before I give them a quilt I have a stack on my spare bed and if they want a quilt or wall hanging I let them pick or else tell me what they like and want I learned a long time ago that not everyone appreciates quilts I have heard them call them homemade blankets I enjoy making them but keep them until someone wants one and I have sold quite a few when someone pays for one I know they really want it as for me I do have 2 stuffed in a closet that were given to me and I keep them for the memories and did tell them thank you
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I'm a giver and I enjoy giving quilts that I have made to people I care deeply about. I never just put something together that I like, for a gift. I will ask what they would like and show some examples of quilts out of my magazines and let them choose. If someone wants to regift a gift, its ok. Regifting is Biblical.
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I know it doesn't answer the question, but when I give a quilt, it often goes with the 'ok to do whatever you want with it'
My vet has gone above and beyond for me, and I see signs that he's doing the same for others (lots of charity work) I'm making him a dog themed quilt, and giving it with my 'permission' to use it as he sees fit. I've already done that with others, various people who work in charities. I make the quilt for them, but I let them know it's theirs, to do with as they want. I don't really know what they decided |
I would rather see a quilt in the Salvo or Good Will knowing there will be someone who will gladly make a worthy donation for the thrill of attaining a valued handmade item. Often times, it is the person who parts with something deemed valueless, that later regrets it. If the quilt doesn't match one's decor, I would fold it and keep it in the back seat of my car for picnics/emergencies. How about a donation to a nursing home?
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I've never had an offer of a quilt by anyone, but if I did, I would be so happy and would really appreciate all the hard work that went into it...I would definitely use it, regardless of the color, fabrics, etc.
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Everyone I've given quilts to has seemed to like and enjoy using them. Of course, they have been mostly for family and friends who I pretty much knew what colors they would like. Only one DIL never responsed to my offier to make her a lap quilt for their TV room so I haven't made her one for herself. I have several for each of her 3 DDs and one for her DH (my DS#1). I've also made lots of quilts for babies and most of their Moms never have touched a sewing machine so they were easy to impress with my limited quilting skills. May in Jersey
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First, I would never make a quilt for someone unless they asked me specifically and told me what they wanted. It is way too much money and too much of my precious time to give to someone who would not appreciate it. If I was ever given a quilt that did not meet my taste, I would accept it, tell the giver it is very much appreciated and I would use it. My son loves to cuddle up with anything warm and he does not care if it matches nor do I. If the giver thought enough of me to make it and gift it, then I darn well will use it and enjoy it.
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I worked in a nursing home for many years. There was a lady we were taking care of and she was a quilter. She then told her husband how to quilt. Later on he started to come to her room with all these small lap quilts. He gave all of us girls a lap quilt and said thank you for taking such good care of my wife. The quilt is in my closet but I still think of them when I look at it and the thought gives me a warm fuzzy. That is all i care about. I is the thought that counts.
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You can always find something nice to say to someone. Others have already said how you can say thanks for thinking of me and then you can find something about that quilt that is nice, the pattern, the stitches, one color. There is always something great about a gift if you want to see it that way.
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I would say thank you and tell them how pleased I am that they spent the tmie to make it for me. You doin't need to display it in a room that you use all the time but surely it could go in an out of the way place. I think it's the thought that counts. I would have hurt feelings if someone did that to me.
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I would say thank you very much, how thoughtful of you to make me a quilt. Then I would use it.
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It's a complete wreck....but I love it because he did the best he could with his knowledge. I think it helped him work through the grief of losing his wife of 50 yrs.
Oh....how sweet.....I love him....and want him for my very own Uncle!!! This quilt would be on the back of my couch...end of my bed...somewhere on display!!! and my friends would be told the story EVERY TIME they came in!!! Tears are running down my face as I think of this man cutting up his love's clothing to give to everyone who knew her...shame on anyone who would look down on this man's grief...... |
I think out of respect for all the work and energy put into making me a quilt - regardless if it "my color scheme" or if it "tickled my fancy" - I'd say thankyou for it and show appreciation toward the person who made it - they made it with love for you - not for the heck of it - I"m positive of that - so regardless of how it is, like another post before this - put it between two blankets to keep you warm, or use it on a guest bed the same way - if you really can not stand it on your bed, guests can't be choosy when they visit - and who knows, they might just love it!!! I just would never let the quilter know I did not like it; show enthusiasm and gratitude and then when you have your gifted quilt all to yourself, begin the wonder of how you'll use it - or where you'll put it - but NEVER NEVER show disappointment to a gift that has costed the person $, let alone time and energy to make it and obviously thought you'd like it - it is not worth putting that person through the hurt of knowing it was not to your taste. More than likely, it will be the only quilt you'll ever receive from them, so suck it up and grin and bear it! Life is not so important that all has to be all one way - it can bend a little too.
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I am a country bumkin. I used to live in N.J. always dreamed country life. I now live in eastern AZ. My father in law is retired and builds rustic furniture for family. I have different types of wood. It may be different, but, together gives a warm cozy feeling. If someone went to the trouble to make me a quilt that I didn't care for, I would most likely put it in our guest room, spare room, use it as a lap quilt. I would never be able to tell anyone, their taste in colors are not my choice, after all it's a gift.
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If someone gave me a gift of a quilt that was the wrong colors or design to me, I would accept it graciously, and then I would use it on a bed as it was intended, as a quilt, and not for a bedspread. Then no one would know the colors weren't of my choosing, and that I still appreciated the quilt by using it.
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My grandmother quilted and so I grew up around quilts. Almost all were scrap quilts. Some used my grandfather's old work shirts and his night shirts. All were beautiful. I guess I don't think of quilts as display items. They are for wrapping up in and snuggling. In my mind it isn't possible to make one that is the wrong color or design. There are just people who don't appreciate quilting.
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My grandmother made beautiful quilts. When she died she left several blocks of the 1950s "Maple Leaf" for a quilt she never made. The blocks were beautiful. My sister took them and had them put together and handquilted. There were 3 of us girls and my sister wanted the quilt rotated each year among us. When I saw the finished quilt I wanted to cry. All of the blocks were sewn together, no plain blocks in between or any sashing to set them off. It was a hodge podge. The sister who had it put together has since died and the quilt went to me. I showed it to my other sister for her "turn" and she refused to have it because it really was ugly. I am the only one of the 3 of us who quilts and I am thinking seriously of taking the quilt apart and lay it out the way I think my grandmother would have done it because she had made the same quilt pattern several times. It would be quite a job, but I think my grandmother would not like this quilt. Should I try to make it into the quilt it deserves to be?
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I've never had that problem yet, but if I was gifted a quilt, I would thank them so much for thinking of me, and taking the time and expense for the quilt. If it wasn't my colors, etc., then I would put it on a spare bed, if I didn't have a spare bed, then I would donate it to a homeless shelter.
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You know, I have to think about this. I gave a quilt that I loved to my DIL and it has been totally trashed. Again, it was a gift; and I cannot chose how it should be used. It hurts, but that's life. I just try to appreciate the fact that someone has thought about me enough to make a gift. That is a biggie!! Happy New Year to all of you lovely people on this lifeline.
Judy |
I think I would just love the quilt anyway. Years ago my Mother made me a tulip quilt made from double knit in greens and colors that I don't really like. I love that quilt because she made it. I carefully rolled it and put it in a pillowcase. It is in a cedar chest that was her's and I think about that quilt a lot. She passed away in 1986 so it is definately a treasure I just don't like the fabrics or colors but will keep it and when I pass away it will be my son's. I only have one son and I shudder to think what is going to happen to all my beautiful(some not so beautiful) fabric that I have collected.
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When I have received-handmade gifts, whether to my liking or not, my mind goes immediately to all the time, work, money and effort that the giver has put into the gift, just for me,
and I am thrilled. I usually can find some way to use the item so that I am reminded of the givers generosity |
helenquilt
My daughter in Laws and I get along great but I would not give either of them a quilt. What I do is have several made and let them choose the one they want. The one that was my very favorite my DIL through over in the corner(so I brought it back home). I had taken several to her house for her to chose.Two DIL were offered quilts for Christmas but didn't have time to look at them. One is anxious to come back and pick one out, the other may never since she didn't react at all.
So I give them to somone who coments on how they like them. |
All quilts do not have to go on the top of the bed -- they are warm where ever they go, even under other quilts or bedspreads. I even use some upside-down when I don't care for the top. Remember, "it's the thought that counts."
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I would respond by dropping dead from shock! Everybody expects me to make them. The closest I have come is trading a top with a very dear friend. I didn't care much for the one she sent me but I finished it promptly and absolutely love that she made it. She is beyond making anymore now and I am just grateful to have it. My 16 year old DGD would probably rather just have cash but I am giving her a nice quilt for Christmas more for me and probably the last for her. She may or may not say thank you but my DGS will rave about his no matter what and that is all I need from him. I give appropriate fabric design wall hangings or kids quilts which are usually well received.
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Originally Posted by tallchick
(Post 4818433)
I would thank the person who made it and probably keep it on the bed in the spare room; I love hand made gifts and appreciate the effort and time that someone spent in "thinking" of me.
My step son (who lives with us) has burned holes in my sheets and comforters, and has never washed his bedding for the year he has been here. When we move (no HE IS NOT moving with us I draw the line here) I will keep that bedding to put on the bed if/when he spends the night. I would not even put a quilt that I did not like on the spare bed when he is there. At 28 there is no excuse!!!!! |
Gift giving and personal preferences
I agree with the comment about consulting the recipient about colors and patterns. I realize this may not always be possible. My 20-something kids were here for Christmas and before they left we all went to the LQS. They each chose a pattern and fabric for the quilts I want to make for them. Good thing, too! What they chose really surprised me (ultra-modern daughter chose a classic, flowery Victorian quilt kit and son chose a simple pattern made in muted sage-colored fabrics). I'm sure I would not have chosen the same for them in a million years, but now I have two projects to sew with love - knowing they will be well received.
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I, too, love Charity Crafter's responce. He did the best he could with the knowledge and materials at hand. Not only does she have something made by him for her, she also has 2" snippets of memories of her aunt to help keep all the other memories close at hand.
We should never forget that some of the most prized "art" quilts are the ugliest creations ever. Joyce888---why don't you and your sister work on it together, finish it, then donate (in your mother's name, of course) it to a charity to raffle off? Someone will love it. BTW, two of my sisters made a quilt that they called "Naughty Knickers", not out of panties but made to look like panties and some of the blocks were pretty risque. I don't know of anyone that would every use it but it won Best in Show and People's Choice at a quilt show----held in a church! It's king size too. |
Originally Posted by charity-crafter
(Post 4818256)
"Oh, wow, I can see all the love that went into this. Thank you for such a thoughtful gift."
I had to do this when my elderly uncle took up quilting right after his wife died. He came to a family reunion with 15 lap size tied quilts. He used old sheets for the backing-not a problem except that he didn't cut away the hems and there's a questionable stain in one corner. What a wonderful mess it was. He thought that since he grew up with his mother quillting and all she did was cut fabric into small pieces and sew it back to together that he could do the same thing. He called me "you'lll never guess what I found up at the Walmarts...a razor blade on a stick!" So he cut up my aunt's entire fabric stash into ~2" squares-now my aunt did not quilt, she made clothes so there was a wide variety of fabrics to begin with. Then my uncle remembered that grandma would cut up all clothes to make quilts. So he cut up her entire wardrobe into 2" squares. Oh, my. It was fun looking at the squares to see what all he cut up-double knit polyester, bras, slips, upholstery fabric, pleather. He didn't remove any of the embellishments so there are little pieces of lace and beads too. The batting is only in the center of the quilt, he was in the beginning of raw edge quilting before they even had a name for it, he didn't bother the turn under the binding. It's a complete wreck....but I love it because he did the best he could with his knowledge. I think it helped him work through the grief of losing his wife of 50 yrs. It's sitting in the closet with all the other quilts that family have given me or I've made. I pull it out as an object lesson to remind me to slow down and pay attention to detail. Cheers, K |
Originally Posted by Bibliogirl
(Post 4820680)
My grandmother made beautiful quilts. When she died she left several blocks of the 1950s "Maple Leaf" for a quilt she never made. The blocks were beautiful. My sister took them and had them put together and handquilted. There were 3 of us girls and my sister wanted the quilt rotated each year among us. When I saw the finished quilt I wanted to cry. All of the blocks were sewn together, no plain blocks in between or any sashing to set them off. It was a hodge podge. The sister who had it put together has since died and the quilt went to me. I showed it to my other sister for her "turn" and she refused to have it because it really was ugly. I am the only one of the 3 of us who quilts and I am thinking seriously of taking the quilt apart and lay it out the way I think my grandmother would have done it because she had made the same quilt pattern several times. It would be quite a job, but I think my grandmother would not like this quilt. Should I try to make it into the quilt it deserves to be?
Cheers, K |
That is a tough question. I think we all need to be gracious in receiving a gift even though it is not exactly what we may want.
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Originally Posted by KerryK
(Post 4819003)
These echo my feelings, too. No one has ever gifted me with a quilt. I've gotten a couple when someone passed and their "stuff" was divided up ... but that's not the same. I'm sure I'd cry if someone made and gave me a quilt, no matter what it looked like. It would be beautiful in my eyes.
And mlsa (David) - I loved your reply, also! I love the response about the Uncle who made the very eclectic quilt out of any material he could find. Bless his heart. That is a quilt that I would keep and cherish. |
Be gracious, of course, thanking the maker, etc., BUT gotta be careful to not rave about it so much that it prompts the giver to knock themselves out to produce another one for you! :D
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I don't know that I would dislike a quilt so much that I would not use it. I appreciate all the time and effort that goes into each item and can admire the beauty in that.
What that being said, if I truely did not think I could use the quilt, I would still sincerely thank the maker for the thought and effort. I would then tell the maker that I would love for the quilt to go to an individual that will provide it a "home" it truely deserves and ask if they would be okay with me providing it to a charity to be auctioned off as a fundraiser or if they would like to returned to them and for them to find it the proper "home". But I think I can find a "home" for all kinds of quilts with me! |
I was given several lap quilts that I didn't know what to do with. The woman had put bible quotations on the back of the quilts with magic marker (MY DH is a vociferous agnostic and he HATED them and would not even move them when they were in his way. He thought she was pushy giving them to me knowing how he felt about such things.) Some time later, missionary friend of mine asked me if I would make some charity quilts for her class. I told her about my quilts and she saw them and loved them. I gave them to her. To this date, she thanks me for the quilts. My dear friend that gave them to me was elated that I had found them a home even though it wasn't mine. She often will relate to others how her quilts are now in South America warming children.
Happy ending to a sorrowful situation. |
I would say thank you! Wow you certainly did put in a lot of time and love into making this for me. I would use it when the grandchidren come to cuddle in,car for emergency, for a picnic...there is always some use for a quilt.
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lol, some folks just dont get it....the expense, the time, and the thought processes that go into making someone something as a gift...if someone gave me a "butt ugly" quilt, the least i could do is hide that sucker under a bedspread and put it to some use...or make a duvet cover to disquise it...but, in todays economy and for the sake of peace and politeness it would be put to use somehow, someway. and yes, i have some really "butt ugly" quilts and they are in fact on the beds between the sheets and bedspread(or other quilt that might be prettier).
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I really enjoyed reading this thread. Since I am so much older and wiser lol, I have this in my mind. My quilts will never be a problem to anyone, because if you want one of my quilts, you will have to purchase it and if you do, that means you are crazy about it and you will love it lol.
I don't give my quilts or painted items away. I spend hours on some of my quits, hours that are very joyful to me. I only really know what my husband or son would like and my sister. If any of my relatives, like a certain something and say it at the time and I want to part with that item, I will give it to them. Last year my niece was here from England and she flipped over my Christmas tree skirt and I gave it to her and I think I posted it on here at the time. Another one of my nieces was crazy about my, "California Burning" painted large canvas that I had posted on facebook, so I sent that to her. This is the only way one of my treasures leave my house. I don't always give away, what they want tho lol. It would hurt me deeply if my work wasn't appreciated, therefore I make sure it doesn't happen. We can't always guess what someone will like and we can't blame a person for their taste. One year an Aunt gave me some craft she made out of those plastic canvases. I wouldn't dream of hurting her feelings as those aren't my cup of tea but I know how she enjoyed making them, so I just put them away for a while and later donated them, after they were long forgotten. Let me touch on the expense of making a quilt. We all know how much money is involved in a quilt, not considering the time spent making it. Why would I embark on such an expensive project, hoping that a certain person will like my taste? It's not fair to you or the person really. |
underappreciated gift--
I agree with the members who suggested to refrain from creating more items for the people who had diminished reaction to gifts which obviously took considerable time, effort and money. I have been in their position= and it is hard for me to refrain from repeating my efforts.
While it would not be my first choice- - for "icky" gifts- - remember that Hospice do want quilts, as does homeless shelters, members of our armed service stationed far from home and for those so inclined, pet rescue facilities. Yes, I cringe at the last thought for the items I have made for a lady but at least they would be put to use. Some communities who prepare "backpacs"for children in need as well . |
While those who believe in brutal honesty at all times may not agree, I'm a big believer in the little white lie to keep the peace. I became an expert in writing flowery thank you notes to my stepmother for the atrocities she sent me (not quilts, but other things, mostly crafts). There was always something to praise, be it the colors (or one of the colors), the time she spent, her thoughtfulness in sending me a gift, etc.
It takes so little effort and means so much to the recipient. The strategically applied little white lie can avoid friction and please the sender who, after all, had generous thoughts in mind when they chose to send the gift to you. |
quilts, like so many other forms of art, find their correct homes. i'm sitting here right now, smiling at my hubby, who is under somebody else's quilt. it wasn't especially gorgeous, but made of white dotted flannel on one side (cotton), and royal blue poly flannel on the other. (my middle daughter calls it the "wonder bread" quilt, because it looks like the old bread wrapper, with the multi colored dots!)it's one i found at a local thrift store, brand new. it was probably rejected by the recipient, and sent off as a donation--but the moment my hubby saw it, he claimed it as his own. he has parkinson's, and spends a lot of "chair time" on his off days. this remarkably cheerful quilt that some unknown person made is keeping him warm, and makes him smile every time i shake it out and cover him up.
i say, quilt on, folks. it matters not whether or not they are expert, beautiful, appreciated, loved, or just plain rejected--eventually, that quilt will find it's home, and it will be loved. the wonder bread quilt did, and i'll bet most of the other ones we make and give do, as well! |
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