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Dexx, I love it that we have a man on here who is in the same boat as the majority of women.
My husband supports my quilting habit to a certain degree, but he still likes it that I make a little money LAing for others. I honestly don't know why women feel that they have to justify their needs and wants, but we do. I think that it is an inbred trait that we need to get over. The older I get the more I am over it!! Hubby has so many tools that he never uses and that's fine...just don't gripe when I buy what I want. |
Ive asked my hubby why his airplanes dont pay for themselves, as well as his boat, his golf clubs, his computer games etc etc
He has stopped asking me about my longarm LOL |
Originally Posted by mosquitosewgirl
No kidding....my husband has 8 fly rods costing anywhere from 250 to 800 each and when I got my Janome MC7700 for my 50th birthday, I had to sell my MC4900 to help pay for it. Not sure that's fair....
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You can have your toys without having to make money from them. Just buy them. When he wants to know how you will pay for them, just give him what my kids call 'the look of death'. That'll scare him away.
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I don't know. Let me know when you find out.
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Give a man a boat and he'll sit in the sun and drink beer all day. Give a woman a LA and she'll earn money. Something's wrong somewhere. Give a woman a LA AND a beer and you solved the problem of how to FMQ! LOL
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I have a long-arm and I don't intend to quilt for other people. I wanted it just for me. I figure it is no different that his woodworking tools that are in the garage.
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My DH spends a MINIMUM of 500.00 a month on his hobbies. I don't even ask for his opinion about purchases for my hobby and I certainly won't be turning my hobby into a cash cow.
I wouldn't confront him out of the blue and blindside him with your feelings. However, the next time he brings it up, say exactly what you told us. Tell him to think about what you've said while he is cooking dinner because you have to keep practicing your quilting. |
You're preaching to the choir sister....although my hunny spoils me rotten...lol
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Why should you have to justify getting something that would help you with the hobby you love and enjoy doing?
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My Husband only works, job, cutting grass, home repairs.
tools he needs are pretty much necessary. I have sewing machines, lots of fabrics. He never says anything, which is good. Stand up Ladies, tell him when he starts making money with boats, bows, fishing rods, cars, etc. then you will too. Tell him this is no dress rehersal. You only go around once. |
Yes!!! Most of us have done more than enough to earn them!!!
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Well, you have a very good point. I guess it is kind of like how I go out and help DH when he needs help in the barn, or something, and then we get in the house and he goes in and sits down and I have to make a meal. LOL Or, he and I pull out a sum of cash to get us through the week...I use mine to pick up items at the store, used to give the kids their lunch money for the week, etc. DH may, occasionally, stop and pick up an item at the store for me. Being the wife is never quite fair in alot of ways.
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I say "enjoy your longarm"! No strings should be attached!
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See as a teen and in college, I don't have that problem with justifying it to someone else. I have to justify it for myself. But I give myself a little spending money for every paycheck, if I worked full time, I get $20 until the next paycheck, if it's part time, I get $10. So if I want something really bad, I have to wait until I save it up. And as I live at my parents house (only first year of college) I don't have to pay rent as long as I'm in school and my spending money also goes toward clothes. So if I buy something expensive, it has to be worth it as I've spent so long saving up for it
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Selena,
thanks for this topic, I had a good time reading all the answers. I have to hear my DH talking about my "expensive sewing machine" and how I haven't figure out yet how to "make" money out of my hobby. I keep telling him. My 3 machines toghether worth less than his bike, I am not counting the money he spend on other hobbies he is not really enjoying anymore such as paintball, metal detector equipment etc. I use at least one machine a couple days a week at least and I am a firm believer that quilting is my therapy in life. ... and I ask all. Do hobbies suppose to make money? I don't think so! |
Originally Posted by jbud2
A M E N !! :thumbup:
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Sounds like the "old double standard" thing ..Suggest he start a fishing charter business -make that boat pay for itself I'd sell the bow thingy (-you probably have enough stuff to dust)..If its not being used. Let some one else enjoy it.
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Originally Posted by Stitchit123
Sounds like the "old double standard" thing ..Suggest he start a fishing charter business -make that boat pay for itself I'd sell the bow thingy (-you probably have enough stuff to dust)..If its not being used. Let some one else enjoy it.
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My dh and I both golf me a couple of times a week and 3 or 4 for him - know that that cost us. Do do a little quilting and embroidering for money. I have federal jury duty for September and if I report it is $40 a day. So maybe I can served for a few days and have some money for more stash! I do want to do my civic duty just happens it can help with my quilting!
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Just did one day jury duty and our county pays $6 a day. Count your blessing and buy your fabric! Sew! Sew! Sew! LOL
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Because by definition a boat is a hole in the water that you throw money into.
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Did you ASK or TELL your husband what you told us here? Or did you just feel cornered and didn't say anything? Maybe he just needs spelling out to see your point of view.
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Originally Posted by Selena
Don't get me wrong, I love my husband for insisting I get my LA because I wanted it. I have been working hard at learning how to use it. He thought I should be able to just go for it and make money. He doesn't have a clue what's involved. I love it and want to do this for money but not only that. I really enjoy doing the quilting. I feel like I have to fight for my time to quilt which doesn't help. When he wanted a boat, we bought a boat. It sits there 99% of the time. It certainly hasn't helped catch enough fish to justify the price. Also the $600 cross bow that he had to have for Christmas last year that is still decorating the corner of my living room-not even fired. He really doesn't deny me what I want if we can do it, not that I ask very often but why do I have to justify it? I got the camera I have wanted for over 30 years because I am the photographer for my EHC club. Why can't wives just have expensive toys?
It isn't clear to me, though, whether this is your husband demanding you justify what you want or whether you have an internal need to justify these things. |
Originally Posted by jljack
I remind my husband of this very fact...he spends money on his hobbies, but sometimes gets a little annoyed when I spend money on mine. I tell him "fair is fair and I'm spending my overtime money only". But why should I have to justify? He needs to get over it!!! LOL
What would happen if you said calmly "this isn't up for discussion, thanks."? This is assuming that you don't ask him to justify his hobbies, of course. |
You are so right and I agree with all.
I have my sewing and all my different machines and fabrics. If ever I was told too much and why do you have to have that I simply go to the garage and say WHY do you have to have 3 Model A's,4 motorcycles,5 lawnmowers, and 2 trucks. He will simply look at me and and say your right. |
...uh, in defense of one man, my DH is so good at selling his underused toys on eBay...
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Point very well taken!
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There's a trick. I work, make my own money, he can't say a thing about what I buy......Simple! ! ! No money coming out of the household money.....although, I'm like you, I don't ask for much ..........and........... I can't really afford to buy anything frivilous very often, hardly ever. But, if I do, I don't feel guilty about it. I want a new sewing machine, really bad, a nice expensive one, but .......... there are other priorities right now. But when I do, I sure won't feel bad about it. He can't say a thing!
Originally Posted by Selena
Don't get me wrong, I love my husband for insisting I get my LA because I wanted it. I have been working hard at learning how to use it. He thought I should be able to just go for it and make money. He doesn't have a clue what's involved. I love it and want to do this for money but not only that. I really enjoy doing the quilting. I feel like I have to fight for my time to quilt which doesn't help. When he wanted a boat, we bought a boat. It sits there 99% of the time. It certainly hasn't helped catch enough fish to justify the price. Also the $600 cross bow that he had to have for Christmas last year that is still decorating the corner of my living room-not even fired. He really doesn't deny me what I want if we can do it, not that I ask very often but why do I have to justify it? I got the camera I have wanted for over 30 years because I am the photographer for my EHC club. Why can't wives just have expensive toys?
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The money I spent on the LA wasn't just his. It was from a settlement from an accident we were both in and I was awarded twice as much as he was as I was recovering from surgery from a previous accident. So I didn't take anything out of his pocket. Our bills were paid off, etc.
Originally Posted by Patti Mahoney
There's a trick. I work, make my own money, he can't say a thing about what I buy......Simple! ! ! No money coming out of the household money.....although, I'm like you, I don't ask for much ..........and........... I can't really afford to buy anything frivilous very often, hardly ever. But, if I do, I don't feel guilty about it. I want a new sewing machine, really bad, a nice expensive one, but .......... there are other priorities right now. But when I do, I sure won't feel bad about it. He can't say a thing!
Originally Posted by Selena
Don't get me wrong, I love my husband for insisting I get my LA because I wanted it. I have been working hard at learning how to use it. He thought I should be able to just go for it and make money. He doesn't have a clue what's involved. I love it and want to do this for money but not only that. I really enjoy doing the quilting. I feel like I have to fight for my time to quilt which doesn't help. When he wanted a boat, we bought a boat. It sits there 99% of the time. It certainly hasn't helped catch enough fish to justify the price. Also the $600 cross bow that he had to have for Christmas last year that is still decorating the corner of my living room-not even fired. He really doesn't deny me what I want if we can do it, not that I ask very often but why do I have to justify it? I got the camera I have wanted for over 30 years because I am the photographer for my EHC club. Why can't wives just have expensive toys?
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So what kind of LA did you get?? Are any of the hobby quilters worth the money??? Button Girl
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My husband never ever says anything when I want to but something. He tells me just buy it. He has a ton of tools and if he can't find the hammer, ruler, pliers, he will just go buy new ones. The difference between us is, he never feels guilty for spending money. I always feel guilty about buying something I like or want. I always have to justify the purchase. I think it's because I'm disabled and can no longer contribute money to the household by working like I did all my life.
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This is a story told everywhere. I am lucky enough to have my own money to spend as I wish. It was suggested that I quilt for others to help pay for the machine, and while I am still learning on the LA, perhaps in the future I may do a few here and there for friends, but I do not intend to have a business. My husband has such a collection of books and Cd's that a LA machine pales in comparison. Men are from MArs and women are from Venus!
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Originally Posted by PaperPrincess
I got my long arm by looking at the corvette in the garage. We can't drive it often because: it's raining. It's going to rain. it might rain. it rained last week etc.
I told him that even if I quilted 5 quilts a year it would get used more that that car, and I wouldn't be paying for collision insurance to boot! |
Originally Posted by Scissor Queen
My hubby said something once about burning all the books I have and don't need etc. I told him we'd start the fire with those baseball cards he has. He's never said another word.
Fair is fair. |
Originally Posted by Buttongirl
So what kind of LA did you get?? Are any of the hobby quilters worth the money??? Button Girl
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Originally Posted by Dexx
For me its the opposite. My wife questions why I buy fabric. So I've been trying to let her pick things out with me online.
But once in a while something catches my eye, and I have to sneak a purchase in. In fact, today I'm "working from home" so I can get the mail with the new fabric before she sees it. |
I can so relate, although in my case it was the embroidery machine. Hubby's boat, golf cart & clubs, hunting equipment, etc. are IMPORTANT, but my machine was supposed to immediately turn a profit. I have sold several things, but I guarantee it will never pay for itself and I do not care.
He claims the hunting stuff helps provide food for the family and saves money. Hmmmmm, let's see; add all of the equipment together and factor in transportation, lease, and licenses, I figure that his savings cost us $75.00 per pound. Oh Well! Oops....forgot about the motorcycle that was supposed to save so much in fuel costs........ |
My husband says the same thing about my machine that i USE but what about his 800 dollar digital SLR camera that collects dust in the closet. Double standards they suck. He has also looked at crossbows and kayaks. I told him no they will just sit in the garage
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Originally Posted by countrycottage
I can so relate, although in my case it was the embroidery machine. Hubby's boat, golf cart & clubs, hunting equipment, etc. are IMPORTANT, but my machine was supposed to immediately turn a profit. I have sold several things, but I guarantee it will never pay for itself and I do not care.
He claims the hunting stuff helps provide food for the family and saves money. Hmmmmm, let's see; add all of the equipment together and factor in transportation, lease, and licenses, I figure that his savings cost us $75.00 per pound. Oh Well! |
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