Love the comment about not having the "techie" stuff to do the job, but we get it done.
it hurts more when a relative sees how hard you're workinng and dont appriciate it.
My hand pcd star quilt i gave for my moms 50th bd was used as a dust cloth.
A friend asked me to make her a tote for the holidays, i told her how much the fab was plue
all the stuff you need to make it. I overheard her talking about dollar items to my mil to give in return.
She always tells me it looks like i bought it for her, not ' homemade'.

This is ALWAYS my goal. For some of us the term "homemade" means "poorly made". I want the things I sew to look unique but of the polished quality of a manufactured product.

Some terms can sure set us off -

Home made vs custom made or hand-crafted for sewn items

However, Home made fudge or home made cookies - Yummy!

Looks almost store-bought! (Guess my response would depend on WHICH store the commentor was referring to!)

What interesting responses. :)

I've saved every thankful card along with the included drawings from my grandchildren. I'm about to finish the last of their first four quilt tops; I'll be quilting them soon using the Elmer's glue basting method. If they aren't treasured, there won't be a second quilt for that child but knowing these finely raised kids, that won't be a problem.

But you never know ........

As for the offer of unusable fabric, I follow the lead of several posters and pass it on to the Salvation Army Thrift Shop (we don't have Goodwill).

As for the ungrateful bride, I was happy to read that the winner kept the quilt!!!

My story is not concerning a quilt, but same thing. My dad who is now 80 made all of us girls a beautiful cedar jewelry box. They are beautiful with such workmanship. He made one also for my brother's wife, and she took it, and gave it to her young son at the time for a tackle box. It hurt my dad's feelings, and he never again made her anything.

I used to sew Christmas gifts for all my nieces. One year, one SIL asked me to make a party dress for her daughter. I made a coppery silk shantung into a beautiful party dress, if I say so myself. I had to call my BIL at work and ask if the gift had arrived (I sent it Fed Ex) because I didn't KNOW if it had arrived, much less get a thank you call or note. I got a huffy call from that SIL the next day, complaining that I'd made her look bad. I told her I'd tried to call the house and nobody answered, that I had spent a certain amount of money on shipping the dress, let alone my time and effort on materials, and I wanted to know if it had arrived... And no, I never sewed for that neice again, even though it was not at all her fault that the gift went unacknowledged - she was less than 5 years old. I would have been fine with a simple phone call telling me it had arrived, and thank you, and I was offended that I got nothing.

I've been given fabric when my MIL died (all coat weight wool) which went in storage for a few years, and is now being used by my youngest, who just completed a dress design program. I also got fabric when my own mother went into assisted living - much nicer and lighter fabric, but still not my style. Went in storage with MIL's fabric, and DD#3 is poking her way through it, and will donate it to school for their use, if she decides she herself cannot use it. Anything else given to me is taken and set aside until I feel like sorting through it. I never promise to use anything of it, and I only rarely sew on request anymore. That may well change once I start getting grandchildren.

Mending - only for close family, nobody else. A friend gave me dirty things to mend once, and I mended them, but the next time she asked I told her I was too busy, sorry. Family gets told that either they take it back and launder it or I will, and next time do NOT give me dirty things to touch!

When I take the time to make a quilt for a family member, I expect a 'thank you'. My husband's family all took quilts home for Christmas one year - not even one thank you. As a matter of fact, I found the quilt my mother-in-law took on a shelf in her spare bedroom closet after she died. I took it back and it is on the back of the sofa in our family room. I have to admit I was hurt.

My brother's sons all sent me thank yous for their quilts I made one Christmas - and they were young! I treasure those handwritten notes and they are safely tucked into the scrapbook with the pictures of the quilts. I just wish I had taken pictures of the kids with their quilts. That was the Christmas that my brother had called to ask me what I would charge to make his youngest son another quilt since the one I had given to him when he was a baby had been 'loved to death'. What a compliment! A member of their church had taken what she could salvage and made a special 'lovey' for Jacob.

My daughter has so many of my quilts stashed away for when she moves out - I think she sneaks them out of my pile when I'm not looking. On the other hand, my son has one of my quilts - made especially for him when he was a teenager (he's 29). It is falling apart and definitely has been loved. It went on many sleepovers when he was growing up, has gone camping, on a trip to California and he still uses it on his bed. Someday, I will get it back and see if I can do any mending on it. I have to admit, he tends to be a little 'picky' about what he likes so I haven't made him a second one - not because he doesn't want one, we just haven't taken the time to select a pattern and fabric together. Maybe I should make that a 2013 project.

Gifts of fabric are always accepted. I love to make scrappy quilts so I get a lot of those little triangles from corners - I sew them together and trim to 1.5" squares - they will get used! If it is something I don't think I can use, I always say thank you and let them know that if I can't use it, I will find a new home for it. Most of the time, the giver just wants to know it will get used for something.

I had a family member say (when I gave her a lap quilt) "it's nice but what do I do with it". My husband told her what exactly she could do with it. She is the type that wants money of gift cards as a gift.

I am always polite and take the fabric and just give it to someone else that can use it or I donate it to Good will. People mean well so why hurt there feelings they are only trying to be helpful.

Ungrateful recipients! What do we do with them? NEVER gift them again!!! I spent much time and money creating six Victorian table top christmas trees (including hand crafted tree skirts to match each one) for all the teen-aged to early 20 year old girl cousins in my husband's family one Christmas as they had all expressed a desire for one when they saw mine displayed in my home prior to the holidays. Did I get even so much as a single 'thank-you'? NO! Bad mannered little so and so's!!

Don't feel bad I gave two quilts this summer one to a neice for a bridal shower and one to a neighbor for a baby shower and have still not received a thank you note in the mail.... I have a 7 year old grandson who sent me a thank you not for his birthday gift for crying out loud..... What is wrong with people....!!!

I am not sure there is such a thing as yucky fabric. It just takes time and creativity to do something with it and I may be doing something else right now.

When someone says "it looks professional" I say "thank you, it's made with love." If someone gives me material that I think is yucky, I find someone who can make good use of it. I'll never turn material away - there's always someone else who will like it.

I am a member of a church craft group that often receives stuff that is not useful. We go through it - toss what is really garbage, use what we can and pass on what we can't. Truth is some people just don't want to throw junk out and feel better about giving it away. Nevertheless, we receive lots of good donated fabric, etc. so it is worth the effort.

I was informed by a mother of the groom that newlyweds "have 6 months" to mail out thank yous.

My son thanks me verbally for gifts. His wife sometimes thanks and sometimes not. Since I don't ever want to be the evil MIL, I continue to send her gifts, but he gets more. I make table runners and think she probably gives them away. Not many family traditions in her family. She bluntly told me she wouldn't take time to put candy canes in a cross stitched Advent calendar I made for my boys over 30 years ago. We were very poor then and it had lots of good memories. So now I keep things like that. A lesson learned!

I recently had a dear friend who makes clothes bring me tubs and tubs of fabrics. None were quilt worthy. I took the wide stuff, 60" some of it fairly heavy (I'm not sure what she had that for), put it on the machine for the back. Then I cut 60" lengths of the other stuff. Loaded that thick poly batting I didn't know what I was going to do with it, layed one piece of the 45x60" stuff on top, and started basting the sides and meandering. When I finished that one, I just added another piece. Oh yes, I did a double line abou t 1/2" apart from the take up roller towards me at the mid point. I used that as a cutting point. Anyway I quilted till I ran out of backing. Cut them apart, trimmed and did a self mitered edge to make them look good and took them to the animal shelter. Those poor dogs sleep on the cement and my bones just ache thinking about it. Used up some of my ugly thread, had to actually go buy some more of that thick poly and after about a week delivered 37 of them. Boy dd I feel good.

I made quilts for my nieces, ages 23 and 25. I never even got an acknowledgment that they arrived! I know the younger one loves her quilt, because I saw it in their living room, Nd she uses it all the time, but I won't make either of them anything again. They are both quite entitled and spoiled and don't appreciate the work and love that went into it. I gave my mother a quilt I made from a vintage quilt top, and was at her house when she put it on the couch and has the dog get up and lie down on its, I love dogs, but you want the quilt ruined, instead of your couch?? What the heck? I told her I was taking it back, so she put a different blanket down so I didn't steal it back!
My mother-in-law, on the other hand, practically cried when I gave her a quilt, and she couldn't thank me enough. I know,she treasures it, so,there are more gifts in her future!

I gave a quilt as a wedding gift - no thank you. months later, I saw the husband and asked about the quilt. His response?
"The cat likes it".....I was crushed.

Gave another one to my stepson when he got remarried. They loved it !! Then as my brother-in-law's funeral (of all places), he asked me if I used cheap Walmart batting since it wasn't warm. Again -- crushed !!

No more wedding gifts except for my son if and when he gets married. He and my hubby seemed to be the only ones who can appreciate them.

When I got my panties in a bunch with never getting a 'thank you' or any telephone calls from our 3 step-grandchildren even thought I sent their gifts home with our daughter and son-in-law or put them in the mail I was informed that we as grandparents were out of line expecting a 'thank you' as it was our duty to give . Needless to say they never got another thing from us!

And needless to say our daughter gets very little from us to for always making excuses for this ungrateful family.

And the flip side of this is...I have been making felt tree ornaments for years for a class mate of our daughter's 3 little boys and always send them a few $ on their birthdays and at Christmas time and you would think I gave them a million dollars.

So who knows what makes some people including families tick.

My mom told me out-right that she had rather have a blanket any ole' day of the week, but my step-dad loves the quilt I gave him!:thumbup:

I agree with Tartan .. no sense in ruffling feathers or causing bruised feelings. WE a humans are such sensitive humans and forget about what others think when the words that come out of our mouth, the written word or the typed word our perception is our own and we each perceive things differently
Thank goodness !LOL

I agree with this.

Always take the high road... you know the one that no one likes to travel. Say Thank-you and smile they probably think that they are being kind.

One of the highest compliments I received was
"it looks store bought!"

I was going to make a quilt for my nieces new baby and now I don't want to.

Please,dont let some of the nasties ruin it for you. She may be the one grateful person.
six months ago,i met my cousins dUghter(23) , at my aunts funeral. i made a memorial bear for her, i got such a nice thankyou, shes getting a quilt, a pilllow, table runner, coasters,car trash bag and stocking stuffd with goodies,, all hand made from me. I know shell treasure it all.

I agree with this. With a family member, a call to let me know it arrived, and that they love it is enough. I don't need a parade, but a thank you is nice.

Sewing is a passion of mine, from heirloom dresses to quilts and all things in between. I recently sent a "Baby Shower in a Box" to a sailor that I supported in Afghanistan and his wife for their baby girl that was due in three weeks. (He is now here in the USA.) I included a "Hugs and Kisses" quilt, a hand made blanket, a Bapron, receiving blankets, baby toys, two beautiful floral head bands that I bought on Etsy and lavender baby wash and lotion. I wrapped each gift before placing it in the box. I included a sweet card to the parents. I loved making everything for baby because her daddy and I were so close during his deployment. I never even heard a word from either of them. When the baby was about 2 months old I finally asked the mom on FB if the box ever arrived. She said "Oh, yes and I loved everything. You could sell that stuff you know." Little did she know, I DO sell that "stuff." I couldn't believe I never got an email, call or anything from them. When you spend around $100 on a gift, a little acknowledgment goes a long way. Lesson learned. Now I have to decide whether the person is "Quilt Worthy!

As hard as it may be to believe - not everyone wants a quilt. If the person says "I don't want one" - believe him/her.

If the person has a track record of being ungrateful, don't bother. At least, not with a quilt.

If a person is notorious for not taking care of his/her things, don't bother.

Another way to look at the gift of a quilt - besides the out of pocket expense, count the actual time spent working on it - at whatever your regular pay per hour is (if reitired, use minimum wage) - How many people - especially acquaintances - do you spend $200 or more on?

I am grateful for all I get, because like so many of you, if I can't use it I know where to donate it and I am sure someone will use it. I would never want to discourage anyone from giving me anything......

I had a funny one last week...I was looking at a house that was for sale and the owner said when she heard that I was a quilter, "oh, how quaint!" What do you say to that??? Maybe I look like an antique!

My thoughts exactly. :)

I have similar thoughts to bearisgray. I have a good friend for whom I would love to make a quilt. What holds me back is that he has become a hoarder and it appears that everything in his house is just one huge pile of clutter. Somehow, I don't think a quilt would be valued, but I do know that my friendship is.

I think this is the best way to handle the fabric issue, if you don't want to outright refuse it. If the term "professional" bugs you, I see nothing wrong with asking - with a grin! - "Do you mean like the mass produced stuff you see in stores?! - I was hoping to do better than that!" If people aren't confronted about their assumptions, they are not going to change, and sadly, a lot of people still have the idea that home sewing of any sort is something people do just to save money, which couldn't be farther from the truth these days.

I understand what you mean. Last week during our Thanksgiving get together I gave one of my relatives a quilt I had made for her. Another relative asked me if I quilted it or had it quilted for me. Implying that if you only do the top you're not a real quilter and therefore it's not a real quilt. I was dumbfounded and somewhat angry.

I once got "oh wow!! Looks like it came from Pottery Barn!" I had to laugh!! I think it was a compliment!!

I had a couple of friends visiting and one asked to see some of my work. I got out this wallhanging and the other one said is that one of those panels you just sew around? I couldn't believe she would say that before looking at it to see it was all pieced and appliqued. Needless to say I won't be showing her any more of my work.

Wow!! This is gorgeous!

I'm thinking she may have thought it looked to perfect to be pieced.

Now that I have this new passion for quilting I think they are just going to be piling up at my house. I don't have any quilt worthy family or friends. Some of the very best kind hearted people in the world are not quilt worthy.