I have a similar situation at present. I pieced and hand quilted a baby quilt for my granddaughter-in-law. My sister-in-law was present at the shower I gifted the quilt. Much a-do was made over the fact that I had hand quilted it. My sister-in-law's granddaughter is expecting a little girl in November but is having her shower in less than 3 weeks. Sister-in -law will expect a hand quilted baby quilt at that shower. I found out yesterday the gender of the baby so couldn't start it ahead of time. BTW, she had specific ideas of what she wants in a baby quilt. I will do my best to get the quilt made and quilted. There will be hard feelings on their part and I do not want family problems. Life is too short to deal with that. Finish the quilt, send it with blessings and move on. Next time say "gee, I wish I could; but I have so many waiting and it will take forever to get around to it". Don't forget to smile.

What would I do?

Feel resentful and put upon.

After that, I'm not so sure about what I would actually do.

I agree with Dunster. Only I would give the quilt to someone else that is on your list & simply tell your niece & her mom that you added her name to the list. Also you might tell her how expensive it is to make the quilts.

You're taking a chance of alienating your niece by making SIL angry if you try to bill her, so I would think of it as a gift to your niece. Do it out of your love for her.

Since you have already pieced the quilt, I would complete the process and send it along. You are really doing this for your niece and remember she loves her mom. Family is family. You should not send a bill but a gracious note telling her that every time she uses the quilt she should think of family. And attach a label with your name so she will remember where it came from! A bill or unfinished quilt would put your niece in the middle between her favorite aunt and her mom. Not a good place to be. When a friends mother made her wedding gown, the mother attached a note detail in the money spent, the stitches ripped, the pinpricks and band aids used on sore fingers, etc. we all laughed and realized what a gift of love this was. Maybe a similar note exists for a quilter! You need to give freely and then let it go! Only you will suffer if you harbor resentment not you Sil. After all, she can't be all bad if she produced a loving and wonderful niece.

Do you make charity quilts? Who quilts them? Can you, for your own peace of mind, consider this a "charity quilt"? How was your niece's quilt quilted? I kinda liked the idea of sending her the flimsy and let her find a quilter. Would be cheaper to mail! But it might not ever be finished and end up in a heap somewhere.

I think most people do not realize the cost of creating a quilt nowadays. They recall the old time quilt that was made out of scraps or fabric in the feed sacks that had to be purchased for chicken feed anyhow. Then the quilting was done by the neighborhood ladies who then had an excuse to get out of the house to socialize. I recall a few years ago that I needed a bit more of yardage I had purchased near my daughter's home. I asked her to go to the store to get what I needed before it sold out. She has done a reasonable amount of sewing in her younger years and she was astonished to see what time has done to the price of fabric. Quilting has evolved! It used to be something of thrift but now it's perfection.

Send it with a nice note, but no bill. You decided to make it out of love and affection for your niece and because she asked you to; give it with the same generous spirit and never look back.

Trust me. It will only hurt more if you do send a bill and get an unkind response....or no response.

I would contact my niece and tell her that I have the top made and would like to mail it to her so that she can have it quilted for her Mother. That way the niece has something special to give her mother for a birthday, Christmas or Anniversary, you are relieved of the costs and the gift is something special between you and your niece.

I would finish it and send it on. If she contacts you and offers to reimburse then I would send her a bill. My Dad use to say if they can live with it you can live without it. You will be blessed for doing something good.

It took me about a thousand years to learn to say no, but I have finally managed it.....mostly. And, I've learned, once you begin saying it, you get far fewer "will you"s!