A Problem
12-06-2010, 05:40 AM
#43
Super Member
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: north Alabama
Posts: 1,907
I have an aunt -- who is very hypochondriac. When we do show and tell, I get the same "uh-huh" response on my projects. Also get some advice on how I could improve my methods. If we ever have any aches and pains anywhere, we'd best keep them to ourselves, too, or she'll have it worse!
12-19-2010, 12:01 PM
#44
Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Arkansas
Posts: 952
Yes, I know this too well, also. I have one in one of my groups.....same identical characteristics!!! I don't think I've ever heard her give a compliment......my quilts never get more than a "nod." Yet, others give me the "oooohs and the aaahs." So, go figure. I've just learned to expect it from her and keep going.....knowing that she's the 'different one.'
12-19-2010, 01:53 PM
#45
Super Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: howell, Mi
Posts: 2,345
A real friend would find something to compliment on your work even if it was the ugliest thing she ever saw. Someone who finds it impossible to compliment another has a real problem, in my opinion, and I would not be sharing my work with her anymore.
Sue
Sue
12-19-2010, 03:43 PM
#46
Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 611
Hm... why not be honest and let her know, gently, that her support of your creativity matters to you and you feel hurt by her seeming lack of appreciation?
After all she's been honest with you, letting you know how much she needs your support.
After all she's been honest with you, letting you know how much she needs your support.
12-19-2010, 04:02 PM
#47
Super Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Mars
Posts: 2,549
Originally Posted by Renoquilting
I would tell her, "It hurts my feelings that you never seem all that excited by my quilts or impressed by my efforts."
But *only* if I were sure that I was ready to hear what she has to say. :mrgreen:
If she is very talented as you say, she may have a lot of helpful suggestions about your work but she's trying to zip her lip, for the sake of tact.
Someone like that could end up being the best friend you have, as a growing quilter, *if* you are open to hearing how to not cut the points off of your stars, or how to even up your stitches or how to make the border lay flatter or how to jazz up your free-motion work or whatever. :)
It can be hard to hear criticism - when we labor over something for so many hours, we really don't want to hear how we could have improved on it. We want to hear how pretty it is!
But, if we can stand to listen, we might hear something that will help us to improve the next one.
On the other hand, she might be a real pill and end up nit-picking everything from the choice of colors and values to the style of quilting to the misses on the piecing to the weight of the quilting thread to the visible stitching on the binding!
You just never know - so that's the second reason that you have to be really sure that you want to hear her honest opinion! :hunf: :lol:
12-19-2010, 04:09 PM
#48
Super Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Maple City, MI
Posts: 2,135
We have a saying in our family, "no more M & M's for bad behavior" Her's is bad...your's isn't. Be honest in your responses and let her be hers... just remember that your worth and the value of your efforts are not based on her response but on the feelings you have in your heart.
12-19-2010, 04:10 PM
#49
Super Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Georgia
Posts: 1,416
Originally Posted by Terryl
If you show us your quilts, I bet you'll get PLENTY of oohs and ahhhhs. We appreciate all styles of quilting.
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